Likelihood, in per cent, that one of the children who accompanies the captains out for the toss at the final will come away with bleeding ears after Ravi Shastri ratchets the volume up to a level befitting the big game
May 23, 2009

Number of IPL closing ceremony organisers who thought Shilpa Shetty dancing to Slumdog Millionaire's "Jai Ho" at the event would be a fabulous idea. Number of fans who think the same: 9
May 22, 2009

Percentage of South Africa's population that was interviewed to testify how marvellous the IPL is, during the innings break. Percentage of those who were less than effusive but made it to the telecast: 0.
May 21, 2009

Number of players who will consider their World Twenty20 performance to be an audition for next year's IPL. Number of players who'll ask to be excused from Test series so they can play domestic Twenty20 and improve their chances to get an IPL contract: 27
May 20, 2009

Ratio of the amount of time Lalit Modi spends looking at his BlackBerry, while attending a game, to the amount of time he spends watching proceedings.
May 19, 2009

Number of times we've been informed during the tournament that Matthew Hayden is a big man. Number of times we've been told that he is surprisingly agile for a big man: 221.
May 18, 2009

Number of references to the 1966 football and 2003 rugby World Cup wins in English newspapers. Number of "William the Conqueror" references: 1066. Number of calls to "bring on the Ashes": 78800.
May 17, 2009

Number of decibels by which Alistair Campbell exceeded Ravi Shastri at his loudest at the presentation in Johannesburg on Saturday night. Number of decibels by which he exceeded all other presenters who are not Shastri: 112
May 17, 2009

Number of beers Shane Warne drinks each game day - two as mouthwash, 10 at breakfast, eight at the team meeting, two for the team's luck, four from spectators
May 16, 2009

Number of times Ravi Shastri will vigorously plug the official IPL magazine on air this season. Number of free copies handed out to spectators at the grounds to wave on camera: 7950
May 15, 2009

Number of people worried they may get in the way of inebriated players in a bar in South Africa. Number accounted for by Jesse Ryder wielding a bottle of whisky: 2278. Number accounted for by Andrew Symonds and his lethal shoulder of doom: 2503
May 14, 2009

Number of players who'll call the IPL a "good learning curve". Number who will describe it as "an amazing opportunity": 18; number who will claim it has helped their growth as cricketers: 23
May 13, 2009

Number of night games and glittery functions that Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty and Shah Rukh Khan will, between them, wear oversize Chanel sunglasses to.
May 12, 2009

Number of thoughts in Virender Sehwag's head before he plays a shot. Number of thoughts in the fielders' heads before he hits the ball - 1: 'God, let it be a six'.
May 11, 2009

Breweries wishing they'd sponsored Warne's on-field beer-swigging. Number of ICC executives working on the weekend to incorporate punishments for such conduct in the rules: 7
May 10, 2009

Number of agitated fans who wrote in asking for the inclusion of Ramiz Raja on the commentary team. Number of fans who are wondering how he turned up anyway: 78546122
May 9, 2009

Average number of times per game bowlers are stopped in their run-ups because of movement near the sight-screen. Number of times it is due to the new camera that sneaks along a wire overhead: 4.4
May 8, 2009

Number of years before Lalit Modi can't hold a straight face anymore when he says "Test cricket is sacred." Number of years before players fly in for Tests an hour before scheduled start: 3
May 7, 2009

Number of IPL employees who have been sacked for failure to get sponsors to associate their brandnames with the purple and orange caps.
May 6, 2009

Number of blood vessels Ravi Shastri will burst yelling during the IPL. Of these, 212 will be accounted for by "like a tracer bullet", and 144 by "edged and TAKEN".
May 5, 2009