A debut, a drop and a duck

Wrong number?: Shane Warne, whose nimble fingers are as adept at text messaging as they are at bowling the zooter, is to be the public face of Messages on Hold, a phone company. When asked about the deal, he told reporters: "If you want to try to tweak it and spin it, you go for it." Emily Northway, a spokeswoman for the company, was more forthcoming, insisting that the sponsorship deal was not tongue-in-cheek. "We signed Shane because he's an international sporting icon," she said. "He's brash and he's passionate, just like us, and that's the message we want to send to our customers." Presumably, this will now spark off a bidding war between Foster's and Victoria Bitter to sign Merv Hughes, while McDonald's are rumoured to be especially keen on making Inzamam-ul-Haq the face of the Big Mac.

Long kiss goodnight: For most people outside Sri Lanka, Sanath Jayasuriya truly came of age during the 1996 World Cup. His demolition jobs on India at Delhi and England at Faisalabad will always have pride of place in any appetite-for-destruction video compilations, and his partnership with Romesh Kaluwitharana was perhaps as devastating as any ever seen on a cricket pitch. Time and injury, though, have done what a generation of bowlers couldn't. After six one-day games against India that produced just 85 runs and tame dismissals against the type of bowling that he once chewed up and spat out, the selectors' axe was swift and merciless. At 36, it will need every ounce of rage within that squat muscular frame to keep the darkness at bay.

Tresco Check-In: We knew that all those runs from slip to leg slip would come back to haunt Michael Vaughan one day. Bereft of their talismanic captain, who outthought and outmanoeuvred Ricky Ponting at very step during the Ashes series, England turned to a man nicknamed Banger to lead the side. The opening five sessions of the Multan Test merely confirmed the cynics' view that leadership is a bed of roses if you have the right personnel. Pakistan were rolled over, and Trescothick led from the front as England set about establishing a big lead. As for Shoaib Akhtar, he huffed and he puffed, and blew absolutely nothing down. Some things never change.

Bunk Time: With Simon Katich told to go back to the Pura Cup and work on his game, Brad Hodge appears certain to make his Test debut at Hobart. Nicknamed Bunk as punishment for years of sleeping on one of those awkward contraptions, he starts his preparation by carting a lacklustre West Indian attack to the tune of 177 runs at the Junction Oval in St. Kilda. Elsewhere, Bennett King, who once coached a Queensland side that would easily have made the top four of the ICC Test and ODI tables, bemoans the lack of net bowlers as his batsmen tried to rediscover form after being humiliated at the Gabba. His mood doesn't improve when Tino Best and friends then proceed to bowl in a fashion that made the average 14-year-old net aspirant look threatening.

The Ganguly Chronicles: Zaheer Khan, another out in the cold, shatters the latest comeback dream by clean-bowling his former captain for 0. An Indian website known for its shit-stirring tendencies speculates in a column as to how Greg Chappell will be received by Ganguly's devoted constituency when the Indian team lands in Kolkata for a day-night match against South Africa on the 25th. If India happen to be 3-0 or 2-1 up at the time, our guess is that it will be marigold garlands and hosannas. When the sky's blue, the grass green and the team winning for fun, who cares about an individual or three?

Skullthuggery: After fractious meetings between Zimbabwe Cricket and local associations, and a press conference where Tatenda Taibu admits that all is not well, the administration's thuggish element responds by threatening the pint-sized captain and his family. Not content with having driven out the likes of Henry Olonga and Heath Streak, Robert Mugabe's blue-eyed boys now appear intent on persecuting the one world-class player Zimbabwe have left. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

Quote-hanger: "I bounced a couple of things off her to make sure I wasn't taking on something I couldn't handle." - New Age man Marcus Trescothick explains how his wife convinced him to take up the captaincy reins.