The political campaign
Shane Warne's got at least one policy.

Vote for Warne if you want to see the nation's GDP drop by 20%.

The voyeur
Brett Lee likes to watch people sleep.

What a spectacle. Did the airline not provide a film or an in-flight magazine?

The victim
Chamara Kapugedera appears to be a keen ornithologist.

It was definitely crows? Do you recognise the colour and consistency or something?

The comeback
Jason Gillespie was a substitute fielder.

Not great for reverse swing.

The team
Graeme Swann has very specific ideas about people and their taste in music.

So what does that make Stuart Broad?

Will this difference of opinion bring another round of internecine strife to Team England?

The fact
Graham Onions has a fact.

That is not a fact. That is very, very far from being a fact.

The early riser
Jonny Bairstow's got an early start.

We don't.

What's your philosophy?
Hashim Amla is appreciative.

No matter how small and insignificant he deems you to be, Hashim Amla nevertheless appreciates you.

The destruction
For all of you wondering whether cricketers have learnt to eat normally yet, or whether they still feel the need to "smash" their food - bad news.

Dale Steyn's smashing food.

So's Mitchell Marsh.

And Shane Warne.

The carbs
At least Brad Hogg managed to avoid the phrase. Maybe it's because he's middle-aged.

Last week, Brad was accused of putting a buffet meal on his room bill, even though he wasn't staying in that particular hotel. Is he actually paying for his meals now?

Almost.

The smashed
Ajmal Shahzad bucked the trend. In the man v food battle, he was on the receiving end.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket