Brummie boys face the music against Shoaib

Imagine the scene. Saturday morning in the Midlands village of Balsall Common. You lug the kit bag out of your car boot, in preparation for the match you have been looking forward to all week. Then you catch sight of the opposition warming up. "Er, hang on a minute. Isn't that Shoaib Akhtar?"

On Saturday week, Shoaib Akhtar will be turning out for Berkswell. The heats on the Brummie boys, suggests Simon Briggs in The Telegraph.