KP between Boom and Kaplonk

Kevin Pietersen steps up to talk on Monday and he can't finish a sentence without being interrupted. The Australians are in the indoor nets and Pietersen is speaking from cover, although he’s protected by a net and some black paper curtains. “I’m just as important as anyone else,” he says in between Australian drives. “I don’t [BANG] intend to [CRASH] have a bad series ... We’re going to come out [KAPLONK] fighting, not scared [BASH].” It’s more like an old-style episode of Batman and Robin.

On the way to Cardiff from Worcester the train stops in a few special places. The first is Malvern, where the tops of the hills hug any nearby crowds, and then it’s on to Abergavenny, another town which has a mountain as a grandstand to its cricket ground. It was here that Andrew Symonds hit a world-record 20 sixes in a match for Gloucestershire. Back then he might have played for England, but he finally represented Australia. In this series he won’t play for anyone. Australia missed him in the World Twenty20 but will cope without him over the next two months.