Gayle is immortalised by Americans, a birthday is celebrated, a pitch is attacked, and MS Dhoni is unnecessarily compared to Michael Jordan in this week's News Hurl

Jarrod Kimber

27-Apr-2013

It wasn't until Jesse Ryder tweeted, "Take a bow Chris Gayle unbelievable batting", that the cricket world truly appreciated Gayle's innings of 175 off 66 balls this week. The innings, which started going viral before he had finished it, included some of the most tremendous hitting off some of the most disgusting bowling ever. Except for Aaron Finch's bowling, which was just unlucky.

It was an innings so good that the LA Times ran a story on it. Let's laugh at them.

"West Indies batsman Chris Gayle rocked the sports world Tuesday, setting Twitter ablaze with praise in 140-character dollops when he scored the fastest 100 runs in the history of professional cricket after just 30 pitches."

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Dickie's XI, and Sachin's exit

This week's News Hurl features reactions to the English umpire's XI, Gloucestershire district Lady Taverners' indoor Under-15 girls tournament, and Shane Watson's public statements

Jarrod Kimber

20-Apr-2013

This week the cricket world was stunned when ageing former cricket umpire Dickie Bird released his best Test XI and overlooked Jesse Ryder.

Dickie had more. No West Indian speedster made the list either. No Holding, no Marshall, not even Nixon McLean could make it to Dickie's list, which probably means watching it from the other end isn't as scary as facing it.

But Dickie wasn't done there. Don Bradman also missed out. Now, it is Australian law that all greatest XIs feature Don, so Dickie will be arrested the next time he sets foot in Australia.

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A day in Bangalore

You can play, watch and talk about cricket, and then just for kicks get groped four times while making your way into the stadium

Jarrod Kimber

13-Apr-2013

7:10am was preparation time. As much water as you could consume. Stretching. A banana. Finding clothes that would be appropriate for the task ahead.

It takes 15 minutes of walking to arrive at the corporation school ground. Once you walk over the newly planted sand dunes, you arrive at a grassless multipurpose sports area where five games of cricket are being played concurrently.

Slowly the ESPNcricinfo employees arrive, most walking, some on motorbikes. Teams are picked. The heavier-than-normal-special-made-for-cricket tennis ball is selected, stumps are placed at one end, a stone at the other. It's an eight-over game.

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Badgers stop play, Pitbull starts it

This week's News Hurl features good news for Jesse Ryder, Jasprit Bumrah and the president of the Sri Lankan Ports Authority Cricket Club, bad news for James Pattinson and Rickmansworth Cricket Club, and the lyrics of an IPL showman

Jarrod Kimber

06-Apr-2013

The world had good news this week, because Jesse Ryder is getting better. This time last week he was in hospital and people were still worried about his skull and the induced coma. But now he's back at home and doing very well, which is magnificent news. Jesse, let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby.

The IPL went on even without Jesse, it was opened by an American rapper who named himself after a brutal and ugly dog. But it truly started when 19-year-old Jasprit Bumrah turned up. If you've ever seen a really earnest 12-year-old with a ridiculous action who looks like he might combust in a stiff breeze, you've seen Jasprit Bumrah play. After five balls he had 1 for 12, with the wicket of Virat Kohli, and every single ball it seemed like a miracle that his action didn't kill him.

Not that Bumrah was the only feel-good debut this week. A great story out of Sri Lanka is that a 39-year-old Sri Lankan reached his dream this week and played made his first-class debut for the Sri Lankan Ports Authority Cricket Club. Batting at ten and bowling two out of 74 overs in the first innings was Priyath Bandu. Bandu, who happens to be the president of the Sri Lankan Ports Authority Cricket Club and also chairman of the Sri Lanka Ports Authority, is clearly a very spritely 39-year-old, and has many years ahead of him. His net form this season has been exceptional. In fact some say there are few better 39-year-olds with no first-class experience in Sri Lanka who are president of a first-class team. The selection of Bandu in a dead rubber was a chance to blood this exciting prospect with limitless potential. This may be Bandu's last game, unless he plays two to qualify as a future SLC president, so it may be a case of love me tonight girl we won't meet again. The government official's two from 23 balls was seen by many as perhaps the pivotal innings in Sri Lankan cricket history.

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Jesse's perfection

This column usually starts with something on Jesse Ryder, because he is pretty much pure awesomeness. That means finding a way to shoehorn him into the news for some cameo in a domestic T20 match no one watching could remember any details

Jarrod Kimber

30-Mar-2013

This week Jesse was shoehorned into the news when two men brutally attacked him, caving in his skull and lung.

For a while it was touch and go whether Jesse would survive, and I was asked to be on standby to write a eulogy for one of my favourite cricketers of all time. I figured it would be easier to write a draft of it before he passed, as I'd be so upset when he did that it'd be almost impossible to write.

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Homeworkgate still the butt of jokes

Jesse Ryder did not make the news this week. I can't shoehorn him into my piece just for the sake of it based on something he has done on the field

Jarrod Kimber

16-Mar-2013

Jesse Ryder did not make the news this week. I can't shoehorn him into my piece just for the sake of it based on something he has done on the field.

But off the field, Ryder is a perfect example of a player being suspended and working out that what he was doing was not getting the most out of himself as a cricketer. I am not in any way using this as an analogy for any other cricket controversy at the moment.

Ryder's former team started well against England, so well, that when it turned dark on them it turned very dark. But even though at times in this Test, and the last, it looked entirely possible that England could score over 500 against New Zealand even if they reversed their order. That is now the case. England could not suspend four players from their team and still beat the Kiwis easily.

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A World Cricket Committee review

Jarrod Kimber reviews the latest findings from MCC's World Cricket Committee

Jarrod Kimber

02-Mar-2013

Once a year, the MCC gets together a bunch of former leathered-faced greats, and they talk about cricket and drink lots of red wine (all ex-players drink red wine). Occasionally, they push the agenda of absolute stupidity such as in the case of lie detector tests. Occasionally they are ahead of the game like on day-night Tests.

It all comes from a desperate need for the MCC to be relevant. Lord's may call itself the home of cricket, but we all know that the current home of cricket is in an office in Chennai. Lord's is little more than an expensive summer house.

But what Lord's does have is money. To get into Lord's for a Test you need to forego buying a new Rolls Royce, membership involves selling your soul to Robert Johnson and such is the power of their logo it instantly means an item is worth three times as much.

What they are doing with that money is trying to buy relevance. Outside of the Laws of cricket, and photo ops, Lord's has little relevance in modern cricket.

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How to lose a final

Perhaps the reason that so few people made their way out to the G was because Victorian fans are so used Victoria losing finals

Jarrod Kimber

27-Feb-2013

List A cricket is so unimportant to the world; the final of the Ryobi Cup is on a Wednesday. When the final started, there were roughly 120 people in the ground, and you had to do two and a half laps of the G to even find any overpriced food.

But perhaps the reason that so few people made their way out to the G wasn't the overpriced food, the weird Wednesday final or even the fact that most people don't know List A cricket still exists, but because Victorian fans are so used Victoria losing finals.

They knew the result before they even went. Coming into the final, Victoria had lost six of the last seven Australian domestic limited-overs tournaments. They've lost Ford Ranger Cups and Ryobi Cups. Twice before they have lost to Queensland.

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