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Chubby spinners, and Sammy's slogs
The World T20 has shown us that the format's true appeal lies in bad fielding
Alex Bowden
03-Apr-2014
The bombastic trailers for the World T20 always seem to feature athletic fast bowlers demolishing stumps and big-name batsmen making big runs, but that's not how you should market the shortest format. T20's true appeal lies in bad fielding, chubby spinners, and batsmen-who-aren't-really-batsmen hitting sixes. As such, this tournament has been a roaring success thus far.
Most of the bad fielding has come from England and they displayed incredible persistence and determination to remain so bad for so long. To look like you can't catch with Chris Jordan in your team is no mean feat.
Even as an England supporter, I was grateful when the opposition cleared the ropes, because at least then I didn't have to watch one of my nation's representatives auditioning for lead cymbal player in a drunken orchestra.
Full postThe Gilo blueprint
Managing the England lads, working on their golf swing, not thinking about KP - Ashley Giles will take care of everything
Alan Tyers
31-Mar-2014
English cricket is in a pickle, and only one man can save it. Here are the key areas on which he will be focusing.
1) Gilo has said that he is not afraid to take the tough decisions. Whether that means saying "Ooh, well obviously, the lads are a bit disappointed" or "Very much so, there are a lot of positives to take from this 245-run hammering", Gilo can be relied upon to select the correct option, no matter how hard it might be to walk that path.
2) Finding a new home for Jade Dernbach, somewhere with a little stream he can drink out of and a nice barn for him to have a rest in, as well as all the carrots he can eat. Only joking. Jade has been sold to Tescos for burger meat.
Full postThings baseball teaches us
American sport at the SCG - blasphemy or opportunity to learn?
Matt Cleary
27-Mar-2014
And so to Major League Baseball at the Sydney Cricket Ground the other night, and it was very, very, very good. Good? Really good, friend: great crowd, the joint looked a picture under lights, and the difference of the Grand Old Dame with a baseball diamond in it, actual Major League stars (not that you recognised them) doing their thing, the Members Stand decked out with baseball bunting, the Australian and American flags fluttering in the sou-easter… a magic night out in Sydney Town.
What can the ye-olde-yet-modern game of cricket learn from America's Pastime? Many things, among them, notably, these:
Tradition is good. And you'd think cricket would know that. And it does, to an extent. But in baseball they don't blaze advertising all over their uniforms. They play for the Yankees or White Sox or whoever, not for a telecom or car-maker or fizzy drink. And it's fans who drive it. They don't want anything but "their" team name on their "their" team's uniform. And the bigwigs are smart enough not mess with it, despite, no doubt, the rabid yearnings of muscular American capitalism. More money doesn't always equal better.
Full post'Can't wait to get to my bed and lie vertical'
Plenty of normal and abnormal sleeping in our Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
27-Mar-2014
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This week's Twitter round-up is something of a Shane Warne special. Sorry about that.
The nap
A few weeks ago we got a hint that an afternoon nap was a key part of Shane Warne's routine. This week there was further evidence that he spends quite a lot of his time in bed.
Full postA few weeks ago we got a hint that an afternoon nap was a key part of Shane Warne's routine. This week there was further evidence that he spends quite a lot of his time in bed.
It's not easy being a cricket pitch
Being spat upon and trodden on are the least of it, it turns out
James Marsh
24-Mar-2014
Pity the cricket pitch. Though more lovingly cultivated than the average bonsai tree by ground staff the world over, it must still endure its far share of maltreatment: the constant pounding of the fast bowler's size 13s clumping down monotonously on its wounded soil, with only a bucket of sawdust to soothe its abrasions; batsmen scratching and re-scratching their guard with impunity; and players from both sides running sheepishly across its torso when circumstances suit.
Last week a new abusive low was reached when during a 2nd XI match against Victoria at Melbourne's Toorak Park, South Australia's Dan Worrall took it upon himself to deface an adjoining wicket by embellishing the turf with a rudimentary etching of the more delicate parts of the male person. This anatomical artistic anarchy is, though, far from being the worst assault upon cricket's doughty surfaces.
Perhaps the worst instance of soil sabotage occurred when the Third Ashes Test at Headingley in 1975 had to be abandoned after supporters of George Davis - a convicted robber whose innocence they maintained - broke into the stadium, dug holes in the pitch and poured oil over one end of the wicket. This slick act of devastation essentially left groundsman George Cawthray over a barrel, and the resulting draw meant England had no chance of winning the four-Test series and thus retaining the sainted urn. Though as futile as it was destructive at the time, the protesters' actions did eventually see their aim achieved: in 2011, after decades of legal wrangling, Davis finally had his conviction overturned on appeal, more than 35 years after being found guilty, a length of time broadly similar to that seen in cricket's own review process when Rod Tucker is third umpire.
Full postThe Afghan Shoaib Akhtar
Plus: Ireland's biggest fan, a Dutch squabble, and cool Prosper
R Rajkumar
21-Mar-2014
Admit it: you haven't paid as much attention as you maybe ought to have to the Associate teams playing in what has perhaps kindly (you say to yourself) been labelled the "first round" of the T20 World Cup.
It's okay, it's not your fault that inconsequential practice matches between Full-Member sides are being telecast live at the same time; only natural that you would choose to watch the big cats go through the listless motions of a circus act than a hard-scrabble gang of alley cats square up against each other on the mean streets. Besides, that's what we here at Page 2 are for. To go where no man has gone before (the stadiums where these Associate matches are being played, to be precise) and show you exactly what you've been missing out on.
Turns out there are plenty of good reasons to be watching round one, which on balance arguably offers more bang for the buck than the main event. Then again, ticket prices for these games have been cheaper than those for the main draw.
Full postWhy England will win the World T20
Is there any cause for optimism for Broady and Co? Six irrefutable reasons say yes
Alex Bowden
20-Mar-2014
With one big hitter out due to broken relationships, another big hitter out due to a broken wrist, thanks to launching one especially big hit at a Barbados locker, a captain who has had a fourth or fifth injection to manage a knee condition (does no one keep count?) and after a seemingly endless string of defeats, is there any cause for optimism for the England World Twenty20 squad? Of course there is, because what is cricket all about if not taking the positives?
Momentum
England players seem incapable of discussing the T20 World Cup without stating that it's all about who has momentum. Cricketers are also pretty generous to themselves in how they feel momentum is generated. England may have lost a series against West Indies and then a warm-up match against the same opponents, but as far as they're concerned, they took momentum from the last match in the series, and warm-ups don't count, so they still have momentum. Conversely, West Indies think the dead rubber doesn't count, so they have taken enormous momentum from a series win and then a subsequent warm-up victory. The upshot is that pretty much every team at this World Cup is going to be arriving at it carrying extraordinary momentum. The resultant collision doesn't bear thinking about.
England players seem incapable of discussing the T20 World Cup without stating that it's all about who has momentum. Cricketers are also pretty generous to themselves in how they feel momentum is generated. England may have lost a series against West Indies and then a warm-up match against the same opponents, but as far as they're concerned, they took momentum from the last match in the series, and warm-ups don't count, so they still have momentum. Conversely, West Indies think the dead rubber doesn't count, so they have taken enormous momentum from a series win and then a subsequent warm-up victory. The upshot is that pretty much every team at this World Cup is going to be arriving at it carrying extraordinary momentum. The resultant collision doesn't bear thinking about.
Unpredictability
T20 cricket is famously unpredictable. No sane person is predicting an England win, but pretty much every other team has been tipped by someone or other. If the format truly is unpredictable, that leaves only one possible winner.
Full postT20 cricket is famously unpredictable. No sane person is predicting an England win, but pretty much every other team has been tipped by someone or other. If the format truly is unpredictable, that leaves only one possible winner.
ECB appoints confessional interview coach
Key new role will aim to monetise growth area in England team performance
Alan Tyers
17-Mar-2014
The ECB today announced the appointment of a new specialist to help coach and prepare players for an increasingly important facet of international cricket: the soul-baring interview.
Professor Guy Areas, chair of Mental Health, Positivity and Good Areas at Loughborough Polytechnic (Online) will work closely with England's under-pressure coaching and playing staff in a bid to make England's carefully stage-managed yet apparently casual interviews the envy of the cricketing world.
ECB officials have accepted that some aspects of the team's performance, such as batting, bowling and fielding, are probably beyond the skill of the current regime to improve, and are focusing instead on "giving world-class interviews by the year 2019".
Full postCricket clubs that are West Indian pacemen
Eleven English club sides that are actually obscure Caribbean fast bowlers
Scott Oliver
14-Mar-2014
Seaton Carew (Durham)
The first ever cricketer from Curação to play professionally, the freakishly quick yet preternaturally uncoordinated Carew averaged just 0.44 for Mizzle-on-the-Moors in the 1986 Slippery Whippet Pennine & District League (his batting average wasn't too shabby, either) but developed drinking and gambling addictions thought to have been caused by opening a pub, the Bounce and Carry, next door to a bookies.
Appleby Frodingham (Lincolnshire)
Frodingham was famous for having two different bouncers: one that was unfailingly pulled for vast, towering sixes, another that was blatantly chucked from about 19 yards. He received a lifetime ban from the WICB for using a mobile-phone provider that wasn't their preferred business partner, and became a Yardie.
Bracebridge Heath (Lincolnshire)
When Jamaicans diagnosed the normally mild-mannered yet beamer-prone tearaway Heath with suffering from "white line fever", little did they realise how literally that was the case, for his excursions trading barracuda in Baranquilla were a front for another Colombian export - one that wasn't coffee. When he was rumbled getting high on his own supply en route to 9 for 14 against Trinidad, the Carib Clarion ran with the simple headline: "Snorter!"
Full post'English people can't pull off "y'all"'
And other such damning indictments in our Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
13-Mar-2014
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In this week's Twitter round-up, cricketers devour and are themselves devoured; they attempt to outwit the weather; they make spectacularly inappropriate use of the term "lol"; and we also learn the nature of the very best thing in the world. That last one alone should be well worth the wait (but isn't, so don't get your hopes up).
The revelation
What can Beyoncé teach county cricketers?
Full postWhat can Beyoncé teach county cricketers?