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Seven superstitions we may see at the World Cup
A handy guide to the esoteric rituals and lucky charms you can expect to see at the tournament
R Rajkumar
30-Jan-2015
Nothing brings out the believer in you like a cricket match. You could be Richard Dawkins for all the good it does you, but if you follow cricket long enough to develop an interest (read: obsession) in the game, then sooner or later you are going to be reduced to a quivering mess of nerves and obsessive compulsion. All manner of otherwise mundane things become filled with cosmic portent and are able somehow to determine the outcome of a match. And if it can get as bad as that for the average cricket fan, imagine the paroxysms players suffer through.
Here then are seven* superstitions you can expect to see employed at the World Cup, a platform that will inflame our most outlandish neuroses:
Left first, then right
Something a lot of batsmen do before going out to face the ball. But that's not all that batsmen do in that particular order. Some have been known to be particular about brushing their teeth from left to right. Others make a point of touching the left shoulder and then the right while dancing the Macarena, patting the left and then the right cheek of a team-mate's buttocks in celebration, and in Dave Warner's case, punching an opposing player with the left hand and only then with the right.
Full postSomething a lot of batsmen do before going out to face the ball. But that's not all that batsmen do in that particular order. Some have been known to be particular about brushing their teeth from left to right. Others make a point of touching the left shoulder and then the right while dancing the Macarena, patting the left and then the right cheek of a team-mate's buttocks in celebration, and in Dave Warner's case, punching an opposing player with the left hand and only then with the right.
How can we stop cricket being so entertaining?
There is such a thing as the danger of the game becoming too exciting for fans, you know
James Marsh
25-Jan-2015
These are dangerous times for cricket. It may have survived the apocalyptic threat posed by illegal internet streams, but we're now being warned of a new terror looming on the horizon: batsmen scoring lots of runs in a relentlessly entertaining manner.
You can see it everywhere: AB de Villiers treating the West Indies attack as if it's the West Indies attack. Luke Ronchi treating the Sri Lanka attack the way Chris Gayle treats the concept of feminism. Big Bash batsmen treating Big Bash bowlers as if they'll be forced to introduce David Warner to an easily offended great-aunt unless they strike a boundary every ball. It's worrying stuff, and despite this constant lusty hitting seeming to impress people (not least gullible young children yet to realise the joy of Kraigg Brathwaite's forward-defensive), some pundits are concerned that all this rampant fun is bad for the game. Who's to say they're not right? So, as such, here are five proposals to make cricket less entertaining:
1) Batsmen to use even bigger bats
Much is made of the size of players' blades these days, with many pointing out that batting with a block of wood thicker than the average skinhead's neck might be a little disadvantageous to bowlers. There may be an element of truth to this, but instead of carping about it cynics should encourage Dhoni et al to walk out wielding ever heftier weapons. Eventually there'll be a tipping point when bats become heavier than a rhino thigh and would-be Maxwells will be hoisted on their own unliftable petard by only being able to play the most defensive of forward prods. This may alienate most people except Geoffrey Boycott, but at least we'll see some proper cricket.
Full postMuch is made of the size of players' blades these days, with many pointing out that batting with a block of wood thicker than the average skinhead's neck might be a little disadvantageous to bowlers. There may be an element of truth to this, but instead of carping about it cynics should encourage Dhoni et al to walk out wielding ever heftier weapons. Eventually there'll be a tipping point when bats become heavier than a rhino thigh and would-be Maxwells will be hoisted on their own unliftable petard by only being able to play the most defensive of forward prods. This may alienate most people except Geoffrey Boycott, but at least we'll see some proper cricket.
The history of sledging
Yelling rude words and phrases at the opposition has a long and glorious history in cricket
Alan Tyers
23-Jan-2015
Thanks to David Warner, it's the craze that's sweeping the cricketing world - but what exactly is sledging, where did it come from, and what part has it played in the development of cricket?
1) The earliest mention of sledging was in a match at Hambledon in 1765, when Richard Nyren, playing for Men of Hampshire XXII, became involved in an altercation with batsman John Small, playing for XXX Red Hot Hampshire Men. Nyren is said to have shouted at his bowler: "Bowle hymme a harpsichord, see if he can playeth that." The ensuing riot led to the introduction of a third stump, which could be used as a handy weapon.
2) By the middle of the next century, a divide was growing between "amateur" sledgers, who studied sledging at public schools, and "professional" sledgers, who would sledge for money between breaks from working on the tin-looms and getting iron lung. The first recorded usage of the sledge "Does your husband play cricket as well?" was reported in Nottingham in 1852 and led to one of the worst outbreaks of feminism seen in the Midlands for 75 years.
Full post'AB de Villiers remind me of my young days'
Modesty abounds in our latest Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
22-Jan-2015
Actions speak louder than words, but Sulieman Benn has used words to describe an action. Not sure where that leaves us.
Like many others, Benn's team-mate Chris Gayle was also impressed by AB de Villiers' fastest hundred in one-day international. He paid the South African what is presumably an even bigger compliment than donning a hat in order to remove it.
Full postWarner to take Hindi tutorials
Plus, a weepy Corey Anderson opens up in our news round-up
R Rajkumar
20-Jan-2015
CA to get Warner help in learning Hindi, English
Cricket Australia has decided it has finally had enough of David Warner's repeated overstepping of the bounds of proper conduct, and has taken the step of procuring for the troubled batsman the help he needs to keep his emotions in check.
Cricket Australia has decided it has finally had enough of David Warner's repeated overstepping of the bounds of proper conduct, and has taken the step of procuring for the troubled batsman the help he needs to keep his emotions in check.
"We're setting him up with some Hindi lessons," said a spokesman for the board. "This isn't the first time that Davey has been pulled up in this manner, and after thinking long and hard about it, we have decided it would be best if he learned Hindi so that he can understand the names he is being called without having to walk up menacingly to other players and demand they say the same thing in English. Besides, why be insulted in two languages when one is enough?"
The spokesman also revealed that once he had mastered Hindi, Warner would then start receiving lessons in English.
Full postEngland to give the World Cup a miss
Decide it's for the best, given they don't care for the format
James Marsh
19-Jan-2015
After a comprehensive defeat in the first ODI of the tri-series against hosts Australia, England let out a big sigh and today announced they "just couldn't be bothered" going to the World Cup. Despite hopes the so-termed "Newish Era" under recently appointed captain Eoin Morgan might be more successful, head coach Peter Moores confirmed the side would be withdrawing from the game's premier tournament because "having consulted widely with supporters who don't use social media, we've concluded that as a country we simply don't give a monkey's about ODIs and haven't done so for 20 years." Some analysts have suggested that large parts of the British cricketing public snootily looking down on the one-day format for so long may have contributed to the national side's perpetually poor performances.
Although the news was greeted with disappointment and consternation in some quarters - not least in the countries due to face England in the pool stages - back home it was met with a combination of sadness and apathy, but, in the main, apathy. Speaking from atop a couple of bar stools in The Dog and Duck in Norwich, two regular patrons summed up the national mood:
"Hear we've pulled out of the cricket World Cup, Dave?"
Full postWorld Cup captain refuses to play aggressive cricket
Eoin Morgan reveals the basics of England's approach at the tournament
Alex Bowden
16-Jan-2015
The cricket world was left reeling today when England's recently appointed one-day captain, Eoin Morgan, revealed that he was not planning on having his side play a positive, aggressive brand of cricket.
"I know that Alastair [Cook], when he was captain, said that he was looking to pursue a positive, aggressive brand of cricket, and I know a lot of people are expecting a similar pronouncement from myself, but I just don't think it's the way to go."
Asked what he meant by this, Morgan explained that he felt positive, aggressive cricket was altogether too predictable an approach these days.
Full postIndia's report card in Australia
In which several famous Marks, from Twain to Knoplfler, come into the picture
R Rajkumar
13-Jan-2015
After a tough series, it's time for any self-respecting Indian fan to play schoolmaster from the comfort of a well padded armchair and judge how the players did. So how many Marks out of ten did they get? And how many Marcuses? Read on
Shikhar Dhawan: 9 out of 10 Marcus Brutuses
For allegedly shirking his responsibilities by feigning an injury to get out of facing the Aussie fast bowlers in the third Test and thereby stabbing Virat Kohli, who had to go out and face up "unprepared" and duly get himself out in a rare failure, in the proverbial back. Et tu, Shikhar?
For allegedly shirking his responsibilities by feigning an injury to get out of facing the Aussie fast bowlers in the third Test and thereby stabbing Virat Kohli, who had to go out and face up "unprepared" and duly get himself out in a rare failure, in the proverbial back. Et tu, Shikhar?
Virat Kohli, M Vijay, Ajinkya Rahane: 8 Mark Zuckerbergs out of 10
A highly successful series for each of these players individually. The only thing keeping them from getting 10 Mark Zuckerbergs out of 10 is the fact that they didn't manage to achieve the cricketing equivalent of Facebook buying out Instagram and Whatsapp - beating Australia in Australia.
Full postA highly successful series for each of these players individually. The only thing keeping them from getting 10 Mark Zuckerbergs out of 10 is the fact that they didn't manage to achieve the cricketing equivalent of Facebook buying out Instagram and Whatsapp - beating Australia in Australia.
Australian cricket's arty roots exposed
Turns out it's not all hairy-backed sheelas and tinnies by the barbie
Alan Tyers
12-Jan-2015
Australia have named their World Cup squad at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney, just the latest link in the rich shared history between Australian cricket and the plastic arts down under, writes Professor Brad "Bluey Period" Patterson of the Institute of Fine Arts and Fooling Around in the Sheep Dip, Narromine.
The most important figure in the early development of modern art in Australia was Paul Gauguin, a painter and offspinner who often chipped in with useful runs down the order and a revolutionary approach to the colour palette in post-impressionist art.
Gauguin, of course, travelled to French Polynesia towards the end of his life but eventually tired of painting native girls in the half-nip, and so paddled the short 7000km over to Oz when selected to play in the Boxing Day Test match in Melbourne.
Full postBooks cricketers like
Russian classics, erotica, crime and cookery - players like 'em all
James Marsh
09-Jan-2015
This week Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg changed his status to "reading" when he revealed to the world he likes books. Although, unlike Facebook, these fusty old paper-based things are unable to provide regular updates on your auntie's new carpet, books, or e-books as they are known if Wayne Parnell offers you one in a nightclub, can nevertheless be, as the social media wunderkind put it, "intellectually stimulating". To celebrate this literary zeitgeist, we asked a selection of Kindle-wielding cricketers to share with us the tome that has inspired them to network with greatness. Their choices are as follows:
Virat Kohli, Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James
"Cricket fans will know I'm normally disgusted by any form of vulgarity, but MS slipped this racy romance into my kit bag when he resigned as Test skipper. I was a bit bemused at first, but he explained that with the bowlers he was leaving me I'd need to read something that gave me a thorough understanding of the nature of punishment and psychological torture. It's been invaluable, really."
"Cricket fans will know I'm normally disgusted by any form of vulgarity, but MS slipped this racy romance into my kit bag when he resigned as Test skipper. I was a bit bemused at first, but he explained that with the bowlers he was leaving me I'd need to read something that gave me a thorough understanding of the nature of punishment and psychological torture. It's been invaluable, really."
Kevin Pietersen, KP: The Autobiography by Kevin Pietersen
"Enjoyed this immensely. Some sections feature a lot of egotism and bitterness, but I honestly don't know how else the author could have described Andy Flower's team talks. Other than that, excellent. I even developed a little bit of a crush on the main character. Hot!"
Full post"Enjoyed this immensely. Some sections feature a lot of egotism and bitterness, but I honestly don't know how else the author could have described Andy Flower's team talks. Other than that, excellent. I even developed a little bit of a crush on the main character. Hot!"
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