plucks out leg stump to finish it! Tonks the timber one last time, six-for for Woakes and Ireland have been demolished in barely 90 minutes of cricket. Murtagh was of course looking to Happy Gilmore it into the Mound Stand, but it was Woakes who connected
2.30pm: Woo-wee. So that's a four-day Test (¯\_(ツ)_/¯)... The first meeting in the format between England and Ireland, we can only hope they're all so entertaining. George has been hastily rattling out his report and we'll have more reaction from the ground to come. It's only a couple of hours since Australia announced their Ashes squad, too - it's finally okay to start thinking about that one now. Anyway, thanks for getting involved as always, we've had the usual fun and games. And it's less than a week until we're back for the start of the Ashes at Edgbaston. Yum! Until then, from Miller and myself, it's goodnight and good luck. Bye!
2.10pm: Time for the presentations, in front of the grand old pavilion, starting with Man of the Match, Jack Leach! [Think you'd get MoM at Lord's for your batting?] "No. I said just now, bowling three overs for 26, and I've got Man of the Match, I didn't ever see that happening. Very pleased glad we got the win. Woakesy and Broady bowled magnificently. I'm a No11... it's been tough, but I found some form out there. Took one ball at a time and tried to do a job for the team. [Specs steaming up?] Managed to find a headband, but all good. [Thinking about 100?] When I got past 50... I got into the 90s and then I got nervous, and I didn't know how to go about things from there. Tried to not think about it but was probably thinking about it the whole time. [Nightwatchmen to score 90s for England] Wasn't aware, just thinking about watching the ball and trying to hit a few of them. [Woakes and Broad] They were amazing, put the ball in the right area and something seemed to happen. Me and Mo didn't have to do anything, which was perfect. [Fancy opening in Ashes?] No!"
Ireland captain William Porterfield: [Sun shining now...] "Would have been nice. Look, we knew it would be tough with the lights on and the drizzle in the air, but we tried to get through that and let the ball get older. To be fair to the two lads, they bowled well and made it tough. We knew with the lights on, we'd have to dig deep, and if we got a few down it would be for the lower-middle order to put it back on them. But that wasn't to be, fair play to them how they bowled. [Positives] That's the reason we're so gutted, because we put ourselves in the position to win the game. Delighted for Murts to get on the honours board, he's had a tremendous career and for him to get on the board was special. First innings was important, if we'd got a few more, turns it into a 50-100 chase. [Second morning] We got one wicket and didn't feel we bowled that badly. Kept plugging away, asked a lot of the seamers on a hot day, glad the younger lads got the rewards. Really pleased for how they went about it. [Future for Ireland in Tests?] We've been missing out on county cricket, that's been a massive thing, but the way things are going back home we have to keep growing that, playing more first-class cricket. Testament how mentally strong we are as a side to go out there and give it a crack. Need to keep that up to be competitive."
England captain Joe Root: [Confident defending 181?] "Knew that was a lot of runs on that surface. Been in that position before, found ourselves in a similar position at Edgbaston against India last year. Knew we had to stay calm and ask a lot of questions. They did it brilliantly, were outstanding and nice to know there were two guys that didn't even get an opportunity today, but contributed throughout the game. It wasn't the perfect game for us but sometimes that can be an important part of learning for the team. We can take a lot from this game. [Ireland?] They exploited the conditions well on a wicket that was very bowler-friendly. Areas we want to get better, tighten up but ultimately we won the game. To come out in the manner we did today and close it out was impressive. [Hard to get up for this game?] Managing the schedule is part of international cricket, have to find a way. Not always straightforward across the formats. Good to play in this game and get the result we have. Thought Ireland were exceptional, bowled brilliantly in both innings. Today I thought we were excellent with the ball. [Ashes?] Pretty confident, we'll have a meeting today and make things clear. Exciting time for everyone, nice to go in with a win, and to have managed a pressure situation and come out the other side. Ashes cricket is very special and guys are getting their minds around that now."
1.58pm: So, England complete the expected victory in Ireland's maiden Test match at Lord's... Yerright. What a bonkers game! Test cricket is a mind-altering substance, but Ireland have surely got a taste for it now. What could have been, eh? They rocked England on day one, held their nerve on day two, and then with the greatest prize - perhaps - in sight, they ran smack into the Lord's stewards. "Sorry, chaps, not today." England have somehow ended up winning by 143 runs, from a position of 85 all out at lunch on the first morning. It's more than a century since anyone has managed that, which tells you something about the English fightback. You fancied that 180 would be a tough chase, in conditions ripe for seam and swing, but for Chris Woakes and Stuart Broad to round up all ten inside their opening spells, well, it was a decent effort. What does it tell us about the challenges to come? Clearly England's batsmen need to get in the nets before the Ashes. And while Ireland have been on the end of a hard lesson, we all know Test cricket doesn't bestow its rewards easily. In short, keep at it, lads.
"So will a bowler get MOM for batting in this Crazy match?" I'd go for an opener, Matt Wozniak, given how hard batting was. The young fella, made 90-odd. Leach? Think we'll see more of him
"Feel for Ireland," commiserates Db. "All the hard work and happiness of two days gone within a span of 15 overs. This was the closest they could have come to beat a Top Test side in their own backyard. I hope they show more resilience next time."
Here's Khurram Zafar: "A cricinfo commentator answered the question on how many can Ireland get with '42'. That was close." Damn straight! I knew that supercomputer wouldn't let me down
short ball, head height on leg stump and Murtagh ducks it
"They think it's all clover..." chuckles Ricky
angled across in the channel, Murtagh has a filthy hack and misses
hoicked over cover point, in the air... but it lands safely!
Lunch has been put back until 2.15pm, by the way. Question is, does Tim Murtagh want dessert today?
But it could still happen... Five in a spell for Broad? We've been there before...
pitched up, the crowd hoping for a glorious climax... but Rankin digs it out. No five-for for Broad (yet)
swerving down the leg side, lost his radar on that one
Couple of men out in the deep for a misdirected slog...
back of a length over the top of off, again Rankin tries to belt it into next week and misses
fourth stump, touch short as Rankin heaves at it and misses
goes for the stumps as Rankin hops away and swings, zips through past leg! Beats everything, Broad left smiling ruefully and shaking his head
Boyd Rankin heads out, the fat lady warming up her larynx. Ireland joint-fifth on this list... Can Broad also get five?
too easy! Root bags another at first slip! Broad has a fourth, McBrine hoodwinked by another curling outswinger from round the wicket
"Rewenge! there are many who will think that's a typo but I know otherwise," gurgles Arnold, happily. "Shorty Greasy Spot Spot"
backs away to one full and wide, almighty swing but he wasn't in the same postcode
Tim Murtagh ambles out... His own five-for must seem a long while ago now
and now the sucker ball to follow up - steered tamely to first slip! Woakes has five, he's on the honours board (again) and Ireland are beginning to pack their bags. Thompson's brief sally ends flashing at a wide one, having been pushed back by the bouncer
digs this in short, "Get back in your box..." Thompson ducks it
pitched up, thrashed towards extra cover where Broad dives to cut it off
full and a touch wider, the bat turns in the hands as he drives and Woakes fields to his right
full on off, Thompson brings the bat down like a blacksmith striking his anvil and pings four to long-off
round the wicket, pitched up and left well alone
Andy McBrine to the middle, Ireland well on course to outdo England's first innings here
rewenge for Broad! Off stump splattered! Pitched up and arrowing through the gap as Adair attempts to hit his way out of trouble. Broad purses his lips, that's his third and England are now three away
bouncer to follow up, and Adair humps it all the way over midwicket! That takes Ireland past the lowest score in Tests, at least
dug in, Adair swings blindly - struck on the helmet grille! That didn't look comfortable, a short-arm jab but the ball hit him around the collar bone. Tough out there for batting. He'll get a visit from the physio, too