An Ode to Kevin Pietersen, An Agent
Our in-house bard whips up a hymn to KP, now branched out and diversified

I'm the manager, yes I'm the real manager, all you other damagers are just imitating • Getty Images
- that's the man from the Mail -
has revealed that KP
now owns a sports agency
Kev's taken over this caper
to give him some loot
when he hangs up his boots
like he did in the Tests
that might be sooner
not later
as told by the Mail
is that Kev's now an agent
Mister 15 Percent
and grease up the wheels
and manage affairs
for some sports millionaires
are some genuine giants
like Botham! And Cram!
And gymnastics' Beth Tweddle
but perhaps stranger still
is the listing of
one of his clients
On the company's site?
Strike a light!
Ruddy hell!
It's Ian Ronald Bell
- that's the man from the Mail -
Ian's now being advised
By a bloke in his side
Say, Kenny Barrington
Playing the Ari Gold role
For the Bedsers
All business, in short.
As they divide up their gains
Is if Kev can compel
His client, Mr Bell,
To share 15 percent of his runs
You can check out Alan's new book, Gin And Juice: The Victorian Guide To Parenting here if you like