Into Tolkien country, turbulently
Our correspondent enjoys postcard-pretty New Zealand, rough landings and all
Andrew Fidel Fernando
10-Jan-2015
Hard to put the camera down when the plane flies over Cook Strait • Andrew Fidel Fernando/ESPNcricinfo Ltd
December 23
Air New Zealand's Hobbit-themed safety video is an ideal introduction to the country. It features some of the nation's beautiful vistas, adventure sports, vowel-less accents, and Tolkien nerds, all wrapped in a cutesy, lighthearted tone. Perfect for a country so friendly, its national bird has de-evolved to become little more than a flightless blob of feathered flesh.
Air New Zealand's Hobbit-themed safety video is an ideal introduction to the country. It features some of the nation's beautiful vistas, adventure sports, vowel-less accents, and Tolkien nerds, all wrapped in a cutesy, lighthearted tone. Perfect for a country so friendly, its national bird has de-evolved to become little more than a flightless blob of feathered flesh.
December 24
Almost all of Christchurch's inner-city streets are named after places that exist more famously elsewhere. There is an Oxford Terrace, a Madras Street, and to my surprise, even a Colombo Street that runs through the heart of town. I assume it was thus named because of the earthquake-related holes in the pavement that so resemble the sidewalk-graves that currently beset Colombo while the drainage there is upgraded.
Almost all of Christchurch's inner-city streets are named after places that exist more famously elsewhere. There is an Oxford Terrace, a Madras Street, and to my surprise, even a Colombo Street that runs through the heart of town. I assume it was thus named because of the earthquake-related holes in the pavement that so resemble the sidewalk-graves that currently beset Colombo while the drainage there is upgraded.
The Colombo mimicry is only half-hearted, though. I walk along the road for at least two kilometres and not once does Mahinda Rajapakse's glorious moustache beam down upon me from the nearest billboard, lamp post, street sign, public transport vehicle, tree trunk, abandoned building, mound of dirt, or string clenched between the beaks of city crows.
Only a few days out of Sri Lanka, and I'm starting to miss the old guy. I pull out my wallet to check if I have any of the 1000-rupee notes on which he features. I do not. I am heartbroken. Is this what drug withdrawal feels like?
December 26
Hagley Oval is a cricket ground for romantics. Ensconced in foliage, with gentle grass banks and a low, elegant pavilion, it is the kind of venue where you feel intimately connected to the match, no matter where you're sitting. You can hear the batsmen's calls, clear as crystal, scoot around to catch the ball when it leaps up from the boundary and over the pickets, and smell the players' lunch as its aroma wafts out of the dressing room.
Hagley Oval is a cricket ground for romantics. Ensconced in foliage, with gentle grass banks and a low, elegant pavilion, it is the kind of venue where you feel intimately connected to the match, no matter where you're sitting. You can hear the batsmen's calls, clear as crystal, scoot around to catch the ball when it leaps up from the boundary and over the pickets, and smell the players' lunch as its aroma wafts out of the dressing room.
Christchurch has not seen Test cricket since 2006, so the city turns up in its finery for this momentous day. Brendon McCullum gives the 8000-strong crowd the show they deserve.
December 27
Christchurch was once New Zealand's prettiest city, the locals say. Walking past ruins and empty gravel lots that would once have been buildings, it is difficult now to see what it was like before the devastating earthquakes of 2010 and 2011. The caved-in cathedral in the centre of town is now fenced off; its once-manicured lawns now sprout knee-length weeds.
Christchurch was once New Zealand's prettiest city, the locals say. Walking past ruins and empty gravel lots that would once have been buildings, it is difficult now to see what it was like before the devastating earthquakes of 2010 and 2011. The caved-in cathedral in the centre of town is now fenced off; its once-manicured lawns now sprout knee-length weeds.
But there are pockets of the city that are still lovely enough to draw you in. Waking up earlier than intended (I seemed to be suffering some sort of weird reverse jet-lag at this point), I walk to the banks of the Avon River and settle into a book as ducks waddle past and birds chirp away the morning. Occasionally a tourist will float by quietly in a gondola. At 10am I have to tear myself away from the tranquility, and head to Hagley for the start of the day's play.
December 30
Meet up with a few Sri Lankan friends living in Christchurch, and head to their place for an evening of baila music and black-label whiskey. They make a chicken curry to go with their version of a kotthu roti, which I've never seen made at home. Roti or paratha bread is hard to come by in Christchurch, so they chop up bits of taco wraps instead. I tell them that in Sri Lanka we use roti or chapatti as taco substitutes when in the mood for some Mexican food.
Meet up with a few Sri Lankan friends living in Christchurch, and head to their place for an evening of baila music and black-label whiskey. They make a chicken curry to go with their version of a kotthu roti, which I've never seen made at home. Roti or paratha bread is hard to come by in Christchurch, so they chop up bits of taco wraps instead. I tell them that in Sri Lanka we use roti or chapatti as taco substitutes when in the mood for some Mexican food.
December 31
The pilot on the flight to Wellington makes announcements unlike any I've ever heard. While most try to pass off severe mid-air shaking about as "mild turbulence", this guy not only pulls no punches, he seems to delight in our peril. About 15 minutes before landing, he tells us that there is a "ferocious northerly" blowing in Wellington, which will "certainly make for a rough descent". There is more than just a hint of glee in his voice. He's almost daring himself to land the plane in the gale.
The pilot on the flight to Wellington makes announcements unlike any I've ever heard. While most try to pass off severe mid-air shaking about as "mild turbulence", this guy not only pulls no punches, he seems to delight in our peril. About 15 minutes before landing, he tells us that there is a "ferocious northerly" blowing in Wellington, which will "certainly make for a rough descent". There is more than just a hint of glee in his voice. He's almost daring himself to land the plane in the gale.
Having ratcheted up the tension in the cabin, he then points the nose downwards and takes us into the worst of the weather. It quickly begins to feel like I am sitting in a jackhammer. The lady next to me has clutched her seat so tightly I fear she will never be able to unclench it, and so will have to be buried with an aeroplane seat still attached to her hand, once they find our bodies in the wreckage. I swear I hear the pilot cackling over the PA, but suddenly, we're on the ground. You would expect, hugging, applause and tears of joy after that kind of landing, but New Zealanders are too laid-back for that. "Flying to Wellington is not for everybody," says a guy sitting a few seats over.
January 1
Spot Angelo Mathews and Dhammika Prasad floating down Courtenay Place just after the clock strikes 12 and the New Year has begun. Both are distinctly sober. Rangana Herath soon bounces down the road and stops, beaming, for a brief chat. He was by far the highest Test wicket-taker in 2014, turned Sri Lanka's World T20 campaign in an outstanding spell, and capped off the year by welcoming his second child into the world late in December. Not a bad return. He wishes me a happy new year and trails off after his team-mates. To call Herath down-to-earth would almost be an insult, because in his own mind, why on earth would he be any other way?
Spot Angelo Mathews and Dhammika Prasad floating down Courtenay Place just after the clock strikes 12 and the New Year has begun. Both are distinctly sober. Rangana Herath soon bounces down the road and stops, beaming, for a brief chat. He was by far the highest Test wicket-taker in 2014, turned Sri Lanka's World T20 campaign in an outstanding spell, and capped off the year by welcoming his second child into the world late in December. Not a bad return. He wishes me a happy new year and trails off after his team-mates. To call Herath down-to-earth would almost be an insult, because in his own mind, why on earth would he be any other way?
January 2
The Basin Reserve is gorgeous when the Pohutukawa trees that skirt the outside of the venue are in full bloom, shocking the lush green of the grass banks with splashes of red. The pitch, too, is as green as they come. It's virtually indistinguishable from the outfield. Several journalists try to go out onto the square to get a photo, but are stopped by the ground staff. Apparently the curator, who also looks after the Westpac Stadium turf, had some bad press recently when a football player blamed an ankle injury on a crater in the outfield. He hasn't quite begun to trust the media after that, or so the story goes.
The Basin Reserve is gorgeous when the Pohutukawa trees that skirt the outside of the venue are in full bloom, shocking the lush green of the grass banks with splashes of red. The pitch, too, is as green as they come. It's virtually indistinguishable from the outfield. Several journalists try to go out onto the square to get a photo, but are stopped by the ground staff. Apparently the curator, who also looks after the Westpac Stadium turf, had some bad press recently when a football player blamed an ankle injury on a crater in the outfield. He hasn't quite begun to trust the media after that, or so the story goes.
January 4
Wellington is a hodge-podge of handsome villas perched tightly together on hillsides, and higgledy-piggledy streets that twist one way, then another, all the while oscillating up and down like a cardiogram. The centre of town is cupped in a flatter valley, around which the suburban hills have formed a circle. The wind can be brutal in the winter, locals say, but they love the city's vibe. It's easy to see why. Street performers take over the pedestrian malls during daytime, then live music pours out of the bars and eateries at night. Have a beer and a burger at a joint where the bearded restaurant owner leaves paper and pencils on the table, so you can explore your art as you wait.
Wellington is a hodge-podge of handsome villas perched tightly together on hillsides, and higgledy-piggledy streets that twist one way, then another, all the while oscillating up and down like a cardiogram. The centre of town is cupped in a flatter valley, around which the suburban hills have formed a circle. The wind can be brutal in the winter, locals say, but they love the city's vibe. It's easy to see why. Street performers take over the pedestrian malls during daytime, then live music pours out of the bars and eateries at night. Have a beer and a burger at a joint where the bearded restaurant owner leaves paper and pencils on the table, so you can explore your art as you wait.
January 6
Kane Williamson is incapable of talking about himself. I discover this because on a day on which he has hit 242 not out and transformed his team's position in the match, he wants to do nothing but talk about his team-mates - particularly BJ Watling, who was his other half in that 365-run record stand.
Kane Williamson is incapable of talking about himself. I discover this because on a day on which he has hit 242 not out and transformed his team's position in the match, he wants to do nothing but talk about his team-mates - particularly BJ Watling, who was his other half in that 365-run record stand.
The press pack keeps trying to get him to reflect on his own innings. "How did you concentrate, Kane?" "How did you negotiate the bowling, Kane?" Nothing works. He deflects praise like it was a back-of-a-length ball outside off stump. We could have asked him about his haircut, and he'd reply with something like, "But have you seen BJ's do? He looks mighty dashing in it, doesn't he?"
Speaking of hair, Williamson's beard is also quite impressive up close, especially as he's only 24. It glows a fierce ginger in the sunlight, which makes him look like he has been lapping at a puddle of Fanta before the day's play..
January 7
ESPN's Sportscenter wants someone who was at the ground to talk about Williamson's extraordinary catch to dismiss Angelo Mathews, which has become their top play of the day. As ESPN's lackey at the ground, this falls to me. The producer gets me to talk him through the catch before they call me to go on air, and by the end of the conversation, Americanisms have seeped into my own vocabulary and I'm calling it a "play" rather than a "catch". A few minutes later, I hear that Sportscenter has contacted Williamson himself, which unceremoniously knocks me off the show.
ESPN's Sportscenter wants someone who was at the ground to talk about Williamson's extraordinary catch to dismiss Angelo Mathews, which has become their top play of the day. As ESPN's lackey at the ground, this falls to me. The producer gets me to talk him through the catch before they call me to go on air, and by the end of the conversation, Americanisms have seeped into my own vocabulary and I'm calling it a "play" rather than a "catch". A few minutes later, I hear that Sportscenter has contacted Williamson himself, which unceremoniously knocks me off the show.
January 8
"Middle of Middle-Earth" reads the sign at Wellington Airport. JRR Tolkien took inspiration from Europe of the Middle Ages when he crafted his fantasy world, but now New Zealand is the spiritual home of the Lord of the Rings. As my flight to Wellington takes off (thankfully in much calmer weather) and loops around the Cook Strait, I wonder if New Zealand is selling itself short. The world Tolkien describes is wondrous for sure, but in parts, this country is a 360-degree postcard. Sometimes you are convinced the landscape has been photoshopped, but then there you are, standing in it. The view over the bays and inlets at the base of the North Island, as the setting sun skips across the ripples of the sea, is breathtaking.
"Middle of Middle-Earth" reads the sign at Wellington Airport. JRR Tolkien took inspiration from Europe of the Middle Ages when he crafted his fantasy world, but now New Zealand is the spiritual home of the Lord of the Rings. As my flight to Wellington takes off (thankfully in much calmer weather) and loops around the Cook Strait, I wonder if New Zealand is selling itself short. The world Tolkien describes is wondrous for sure, but in parts, this country is a 360-degree postcard. Sometimes you are convinced the landscape has been photoshopped, but then there you are, standing in it. The view over the bays and inlets at the base of the North Island, as the setting sun skips across the ripples of the sea, is breathtaking.
Andrew Fidel Fernando is ESPNcricinfo's Sri Lanka correspondent. @andrewffernando