Take a tub of whipped cream. Pour in hot fudge, chocolate sauce, honey, the works. Now take it away and gimme Baz. No fat, and so much more delicious, this Kolkata opener looked in top shape even after marauding 158 off 73 balls in the tournament opener in 2008.
Captain Cool would look relaxed, possibly half-asleep, even sitting on a Victorian straightback surrounded by all of Lord's Emsworth's sisters. After blitzing his way through a run-chase, Gayle would still be game to go partying… all night.
No whipped cream for him; he would blush deeply and mumble about being a married man. We understand. But despite that and his frustrating need to offer the forward-defensive shot in a Twenty20, we can't help ogling Dravid. Would he be agreeable to jam?
When he's not messing up a bowler's line by hitting everything out of sight, he's busy messing with the batsman's mind with his constant chatter behind the stumps. Sangakkara would make the perfect date: funny and cute.
The Indian captain's face is splashed across ads everywhere, and we aren't complaining. Even without the long locks, Dhoni continues to look and bat like a rock star - only, now he is fresh-faced. Quite the smooth talker as well. Bring it on.
After the wild party with Gayle, the best way to recover would be to spend a quiet day with young Pujara. He of the three triple-centuries in a month may be too shy to speak much, but he'd make great eye candy while the hangover recedes.
If you like the choirboy type, AB is your baby. Incidentally he does sing, and while his debut single, "Show Them Who You Are", may not be the love song you were hoping for, it will work well enough to annoy your boyfriend no end. He looks like a dream and bats like a dream, so what if he doesn't sing like one, eh, ladies?
South Africa's latest batting sensation is nearly a million-dollar catch. He's a mama's boy and needs his blanket when at home, but you can count him to bat for your life - like he did in South Africa's series in Australia a few months ago.
Contrary to popular belief, us girls aren't fixated on men with rippling muscles and washboard abs. No, not if Dan walks into the room. His bespectacled look and slow, deliberate manner of speaking are guaranteed to make you go "aww" and wish you could take him home to Mum.
Yet another singer. Blond, lithe, and with eyes whose corners crinkle when he smiles, Lee can make pretty girls look like hags. He's even a pretty sight when he bowls, though not perhaps to batsmen.
Blond and fast, Steyn enjoys hurting batsmen. But we hope he's gentler with the girls. Or maybe not.