ChatIPL - An AI-powered peek at the league that defies logic

AL: Aw, they remembered me.

Icome in message: Wanna hang out and talk about the IPL again?

AL: Sure.

Icome bends the laws of time and space to arrive in the ESPNcricinfo offices, with a friend: I wanna introduce you to someone. This is our new IPL AI. We're in the final stages of rolling them out and I wanted to have an expert like you make sure they're properly functioning.

AL: What's their name? Bet you've given them a dumb name. Like an acronym or something.

The AI: No. I'm Sachin.

AL: That's copyright infringement. Probably. So what do you want me to do exactly?

Icome: Just talk about the IPL with them. See if they can offer a user all the information they might ever need about the tournament.

AL: Brilliant. Um, okay. So what do we have to look forward to this season?

Sachin: The captains. There's Hardik Pandya, who got traded to Mumbai Indians on a chaotic deadline day and it soon became clear why he jumped ship from a team on which he was already imprinting himself. The chance to do the same thing at one of the most successful franchises in T20 history.

Even his coach - now former coach - Ashish Nehra knew there was nothing he could say to convince Hardik to stay at Gujarat Titans. "I could have stopped him had he been going to some other side," he said recently, staring off into the middle distance, sighing wistfully. Mumbai made him. And now that he's risen high enough, he has the chance to make them. How cool is that?

The five-time champions have already gone through a rebuild the last few auctions, developing a younger, fresher look. Now they've handed control of it to someone who is younger and fresher too. Someone who is chill like MS Dhoni and appreciates structure like Rohit Sharma. It's been three years since Mumbai made it to an IPL final. That's longer than any previous wait they've endured between titles. They won it back-to-back in 2019 and 2020. And since then, their closest rivals, Chennai Super Kings, have joined them, winning a fifth trophy last year. Change was, perhaps, needed and it has arrived, though taking over from a long-standing, highly-successful, charismatic and beloved leader is never ever easy.

AL: Yeah, you guys got anything that can help him?

Icome: Course we do.

AL: Well?

Icome: You know what they say, never ask a man for his salary, a woman for her age, and an advanced alien civilisation for proprietary tech.

Sachin clears their throat and continues: There's also Rishabh Pant. Just the mere fact that he's back playing cricket is massive. Delhi Capitals might be the one team for whom it might not actually matter whether they win this tournament or not. They have the heart and soul of their team back. India have their point-of-difference match-winner back. But bigger than all that, he has his life back. March 23 will mark the culmination of so much hard work. It wasn't that long ago that Pant was learning how to walk again, and at that time, in that low, this is what he would've pictured to keep himself going. He's never known anything else. He's rarely loved anything more. So while there's a chance he may not be as good as he was, after multiple reconstruction surgeries, even 50% of what he can do - what he did do at the Gabba - will be enough to win 75% of most other games. I've done the math.

Icome: Imagine being him when he walks out for the toss in *checks* Mullanpur. Wow! They really take this tournament to all parts, eh?

Sachin: It will be the 36th venue to host an IPL game.

AL: I was just about to ask that. Can they read minds?

Sachin: I'm still not done. Shreyas Iyer will be hoping for a big season. It is hard to imagine another player who scored a World Cup semi-final century sink as far as he has in the pecking order, with fitness issues also clouding the truth. Shubman Gill had the IPL of his life last year. Now he has to do that and captain the Titans and prevent them from feeling the loss of both Hardik and Mohammed Shami. Pat Cummins might be a world champion but will even that be enough to successfully lead a team that keeps restructuring itself at the end of every auction? Sunrisers Hyderabad used to have an identity - they were a seriously good bowling team, often capable of defending totals of 150 or so. Now what are they? Oh, and Dhoni's back. Though, he won't be leading.

AL: Wait, why'd you say it like that?

Sachin: Oops. I forgot. You guys don't know he's a bot.

Icome: They sprung big for his new hair.

AL: He looks gorgeous.

Sachin: Do I need to give you two a moment, or shall we get on with a culture clash that's about to happen this IPL?

In January, India's chief selector Ajit Agarkar flew to South Africa to talk to Rohit and Virat Kohli about their place in the T20I side. Both of them had been iced since the end of the last World Cup but now it seems they're back in the fold. BCCI secretary Jay Shah even mentioned that he had full faith Rohit will captain India to victory when the next T20 World Cup takes place in June. It is clear that the golden generation wants their crown; wants to stop the toxic conversation that surrounds them where no matter how well they do they get beaten with a stick for the lack of ICC trophies. It's been over ten years since India stood on the podium as champions of anything.

AL: But is it wise to block off two spots in an 11-man sport with the same profile of player? Especially when there are so many versatile options to choose from thanks to the growth and reach of the IPL? YashasviJaiswal was keeping up with Kohli last IPL season. Rinku Singh was coming up on David Warner's rear view. The tipping point has already happened. The Gen Z era is already here. It is going to be fascinating to see if India are willing to pull the trigger. They probably won't. Because at a World Cup, experience matters.

But, on the 0.00001% chance they do and Rohit and Kohli retire without helping India add to their trophy cabinet, they will still have a hand in winning it. As leaders, as batters and as people, they've shaped the future of Indian cricket. It's just… that kind of praise feels hollow when compared with a shiny gold trophy that they get to hold or the "world champion" tag that they get to wear. Forever.

Sachin: So, long story short, India will spend this IPL looking for a lot of super-specialists to round out their batting order. Spin-hitters like ShivamDube, pace-hitters like Rinku, quick starters like Jitesh Sharma. I wonder if it's weird for them when they realise they're getting so good that they've begun putting pressure on their idols and their place in the national team. Or that their success may very well be partly responsible for the increased investment in uncapped talent.

Sameer Rizvi (20, CSK), whom Michael Hussey already sees as a potential replacement for Ambati Rayudu, Kumar Kushagra (19, Delhi Capitals) and Robin Minz (21, Gujarat Titans, although he may not play this year) have all been sold for life-changing sums of money even though they've only shown glimpses of what they can do.

Icome: So who's winning it this time?

Sachin: Why's everybody looking at me? I'm just kidding, I know I'm the all-powerful AI capable of accounting for every eventuality in order to predict an accurate future. But this is such a bonkers tournament. It's had a final that was spread out over three days. A Super Over on top of a Super Over. Impossible chase after impossible chase and incredible choke after incredible choke. Last year they brought in the Impact Player rule to mess with things even more. And it's very likely that teams will now have a much better handle of it, instead of simply packing their batting or bowling depending on the toss. The expansion to ten teams ran the risk of diluting the league - Titans looked very light on paper the year they came to be, only to then go on and win the title. I'm sorry, but I can't figure this thing out. It keeps defying logic.

AL: I think you broke them. Also, I like Mumbai. With Jasprit Bumrah and Suryakumar Yadav fit again - well, mostly fit again - it'll be nice to once again live in a world where they make us question all the basic tenets of reality.

Sachin: KKR look real good. Their bowling attack, especially. Mitchell Starc... *fans self*

Icome: Dude should be in the thirst trap hall of fame. Dissed the IPL for eight years straight but as soon as he became available, 99 bids in the auction and INR 24.75 crore (USD 2.981 million) in probably a very heavy bag.

Sachin: He's chosen a good time to come back actually. The IPL will be allowing two bouncers an over - as opposed to one, which had been the norm for like ever.

AL: And his first match will be up against Cummins, the second most expensive player ever. There's a page turning there too, right? Many of the overseas picks at this auction are players just starting out on their careers. It's like the whole world is in transition. And these new guys are savvy too. Phil Salt basically proved that public shaming works and got himself a nice fat IPL contract. Spencer Johnson used to be a landscaper. Then he did this. Now he's an Australian cricketer and an IPL millionaire.

Sure, the established stars are still here. Rajasthan Royals will be deeply dependent on what Jos Buttler and Trent Boult can do. Both Delhi Capitals and South Africa will be really happy Anrich Nortje is no longer strung up on the medic's table, damned to have played only one international since the end of the ODI World Cup. And Maxi's gonna' be doing Maxi things. But the young 'uns aren't bad either.

Gerald Coetzee with the head bands and the nerve popping gives off pure Dale Steyn vibes. Dilshan Madushanka is Lasith Malinga+Chaminda Vaas. Nuwan Thushara is Lasith Malinga with scarier outswing. And Matheesha Pathirana is Lasith Malinga's skill+MS Dhoni's brain. Sucks they're all under simultaneous injury clouds.

Sachin: Anybody got CSK? They had a strong auction, adding one of the most versatile batters in the world into their middle-order.

Icome: RCB to do the double. Kohli bringing that dad x2 energy.

AL: Finally gonna prove front-loading can win titles, are they?

Icome: Seventeenth time's the charm.

Sachin: Lucknow Super Giants came so close to making the highest ever IPL total last year and they have their captain back. Looks like KL Rahul will be wicketkeeping and batting in the middle order this time, as a sort of audition for the World Cup. Their batting line-up slaps.

AL: You guys, this is fun. Guess I can tick being first choice to quality test an artificial intelligence off the list.

Sachin: Actually we asked Sidharth Monga, Nagraj Gollapudi, Karthik Krishnaswamy, Fidel Fernando, Alan Gardner, Firdose Moonda and none of them were available this close to the start of the season.

Icome: Yeah, how come you're always free? Are you horrible at your jo--

AL: Shhhhh! Not so loud.