Nude and rude

I was rooming with Merv Hughes in Trinidad on the 1990-91 tour of the West Indies. It was the longest stay anywhere on that particular tour.

Now Merv is a tough guy to room with - he drinks a lot, runs around nude, and is always up to some pranks.

When we checked into the hotel and got to our room, we saw a double bed, and a tiny bed by the side. Merv instantly took off all his clothes, sprawled across the double bed, looked at me and said: "I'm lucky". There was no way on earth I was going to be able to yank him off that bed, so it was the small one for me.

Next, he ordered room service and then jumped into the shower where he made himself comfortable for 25 minutes. When the waiter arrived with the trays, Merv jumped out of the shower to ensure for himself that everything he'd ordered had arrived. He then asked the waiter for the bill. As the boy fumbled for it, Merv grabbed the poor fellow in a headlock and thundered: "Give me the bill, give me the bill". The fact that this hulk of a man was still in the nude made the waiter go completely white. And he was a West Indian! I tell you, it's a cultural experience, rooming with Merv.