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The Briefing

Do you even ronsbu, bro?

Get all the hip new cricket nomenclature and much more in this column

"Now that it has such a cool new samurai-sounding name, I think I'll run you out backing up sometime. Unless you're two short of a hundred at the time, of course"  •  Associated Press

"Now that it has such a cool new samurai-sounding name, I think I'll run you out backing up sometime. Unless you're two short of a hundred at the time, of course"  •  Associated Press

The Briefing is back for another year. This column has been told that it sometimes gets too naughty and it must behave itself. But it's a new year. We're good. We can do this. Let's make a fresh start. It's a time for optimism, and good wishes, and hope that things will get better. This year, let's step boldly out into something completely new.
So what made the cricket news in January? Run outs at the non-strikers' end with the batters backing up too far? The same old schtick, huh?
Well, *censored swear word*.
What should we call it?
According to ESPNcricinfo's style guide, we are not to use the term m**kad on the site for such acts, because this great India allrounder deserves to be remembered for more than that one thing. We must instead say "run out backing up". In the interests of clarity, that actually ought to be "run-out at the non-striker's end backing up" (RONSBU), shouldn't it?
This month, though, a new perspective to consider: "Personally, I'm always delighted to see my grandfather being remembered. I feel it to be a great honour for our name to be associated with a cricketing term." This was said by Harsh Ronsbu, grandson of the great Vinoo Ronsbu.
Should we come up with a more reasonable solution?
Part of the controversy around this type of dismissal is that it feels to many players like too cheap a way to get a batter out. Some people have suggested a compromise, in making it penalty runs instead of a dismissal.
These people are kumbaya-singing, weed-smoking, peace-and-love idiots. What would even be the point of ronsbu if we wound up with a peaceable solution? Cricket is a game that values tradition. And is there a more glorious and storied cricketing tradition than yelling down at all the other dumb cricket fans from the towering height of your own moral certitude? Like cartwheeling stumps or a reverse-bash over point, it is beautiful in its violence.
The WPL payday
A long-awaited women's IPL is about to take off, and this month the broadcast rights were sold for Rs 951 crore (about US$126 million) for four years. The first question that arises is why it took so long for the wealthiest board in the world to host a premium women's T20 league (even if they have hosted the brief Women's T20 Challenge in recent years).
But then you remember that it wasn't so long ago that the most conspicuous female presence at a BCCI-hosted franchise tournament were the foreign cheerleaders, who were - let's be honest - there to be objectified. And so you count your blessings.
Visa delay
Australia's Test players left for India late last month, but Usman Khawaja could not travel with the rest of his team-mates, as his India visa did not arrive in time to make either of the team flights (he has since received the visa, and has made the trip). Presumably this was because he was born in Pakistan, the state that India are not super-duper BFFs with.
But come on, India visa officials. All you needed to do was check out Khawaja's Test stats. The man averages 99.20 against Pakistan after 13 innings. Last year he scored 496 runs in a three-Test series in Pakistan, and was out only three times. If anything, he should be honoured for Services in the Field of Shaming the Neighbour's Pace Attack.
Next month on The Briefing:
Swept up in girl-power fervour following India's win in the Under-19 World Cup, and the big sale of WPL rights, the BCCI finds the popular nomenclature for non-striker run outs discriminatory. Decrees it be called the womankad.

Andrew Fidel Fernando is ESPNcricinfo's Sri Lanka correspondent. @afidelf