We all know how Kevin Pietersen likes to start the day.
Oh. We meant coffee actually.
Never mind. His other recent obsession's still intact: diligently trying to create a laddish hard-drinking reputation for himself.
It's all a bit embarrassing really.
And so's this.
But better embarrassment than excitement at the minute.
The match brought excitement for Jake Ball too. If you're wondering what his nickname is…
Things were no less thrilling beyond the boundary. Test Match Special commentator Charles Dagnall was a man on a mission.
Truly, he is a man of action.
Meanwhile, Mitchell Johnson's still getting compliments.
And someone in the same hairdresser as Jimmy Neesham would appear to be trying to attract some positive words through other means.
Well they do start asking you if you want them trimmed when you reach a certain age. Is that what you mean?
Yeah, different thing.
Somewhere in the world there is always a cricketer complaining about air travel.
Doesn't matter whether it's for work…
Hashim Amla almost managed to combine his complaint with an in-flight selfie.
Ahmed Shehzad did a pretty good job though. He forgot to wear sunglasses, but otherwise this is pretty much textbook.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket