'Feels good to wake up sober for once'
Party animals, teaspoon ninjas, an avalanche of philosophy and Kemar Roach telling you what your job is in this week's Twitter round-up.
I thought they drilled it, not shot it?
The investment loan
When did you last see Kemar Roach?
The invasion of privacy
Because as we learned last time around, he only changes them once every four days.
You're hitting the mouth then? You're not just shovelling everything to leg, like you usually do?
Tino Best's Modesty Corner
This is a rare feature these days on account of the fact that 99% of Tino's Twitter output is accounted for by retweets of inspirational quotes aimed at athletes. It's like he doesn't read anything else.
At least we all know where we stand.
Life with Kemar Roach
This is because he now shares all of the important details of his life via Twitter.
That is weird. Enthusiasm for breakfast is so, so weird.
But apparently they approach him.
What's your philosophy?
We haven't heard from Shaun Pollock in a long time. Has he finally run out of trite sayings?
That would be a no.
And what's your philosophy?
But just the one philosophical tweet? Step aside, Shaun.
There were a few complaints that this feature was omitted last time around. Clearly there's great concern that the world's favourite cricketer-friendly restaurant chain might be falling on hard times.
Don't worry, it's not.
Somewhere in the world, there is always a cricketer complaining about jet-lag. Or complaining even before that.