Twitter round-up May 8, 2014

'If it don't make money, it don't make sense'

The wisdom of Confucius? Or just our Twitter round-up? So hard to tell the two apart

"Haterz, talk to the manicure y'all" © WICB Media

Rail travel micturition, tectonic turbulence, financial concerns and chicken. You know, the usual stuff.

The tailbacks

The people who spotted that the A64 was in dangerously poor condition along one stretch.

The high-water mark

The terrifying power of nature

No one ever thinks about the hot beverages that are lost as a result of natural disasters.

The long, empty days of retirement
How's Graeme Swann keeping himself busy?

To be fair to Swann, that bears close relation to his Twitter output during his playing days.

But perhaps he should think about getting himself a job. Andrew Flintoff's carved out a second career for himself as...

Well, there's plenty of time to work that out yet. You've only been retired from cricket for five years.

The demanding days of full-time employment
In marked contrast, Chris Gayle is still slaving away as a cricketer.

It never ends, does it? Exhausting stuff.

The refusal to accept responsibility

Oh so it's her fault, is it? Here's an idea for you, Glenn. How about you try and keep the ball on the ground for once. Let's see a nice high left elbow and a bit of responsibility on your part.

The spectator
Scott Styris has also been risking his life in the stands.

Life with Kemar Roach
Every now and again, Kemar can come across as being just a trifle money-obsessed.

But at least he makes up for it with his great sense of humour.

Hilarious…

What's your philosophy?

Apparently, sanctimony falls into the category of "right".

Anyone else?

That's more like it. Set the bar nice and low, expect the worst of everyone and constantly anticipate disaster.

Nando's Watch

Dinner might well be on time, but are you going to be there to greet and eat it? At least you don't have to brave the A64.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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