July 4, 2014

When Sachin and the Rest play

Who'll do what and say what, and how Kevin Pietersen will react to being surrounded by other superstars
11

"And I told Rahul, he never has to worry about getting sunburnt if he stands in my shadow" © AFP

What can we expect when Sachin Tendulkar's Marylebone Cricket Club squad take on Shane Warne's Rest of The World on Saturday at Lord's?

"It's just a huge honour to play alongside a legend of the game like Chris Read," says Sachin - five points

Shaun Tait looks pretty rapid - one point

Shaun's radar needs a bit of an adjustment - four wides

English journalists try to get Saeed Ajmal thrown out of the match for "chucking" - one point

Australian journalists also miss the point by trying to get Murali's action tested - two points (double-jointed)

"A chance to see Shiv Chanderpaul bat" rated amongst least likely fan responses to the question "Why are you here?" - one point

Shane Warne comments: "Sure, the MCC side might be getting on a bit, but at least they're not carrying that liability Alastair Cook" - five points

Pavilion collapses under combined weight of KP, Shane and Shahid's egos - ten points

Indian fans declare excitement over chance to see Sachin "and 21 other guys whose names escape me" - one point per player you can name other than Sachin

Paul Collingwood lights up the occasion with a nuggety 20 and tidy non-fer - ten points

Brian Lara just glad not to have too many West Indians in his side - five points

Virender Sehwag is in the shape of his life - two points

Late move to replace Shahid Afridi with Luis Suarez after Shahid is banned for biting the ball - five points

Peter Siddle displays awesome competitiveness, never-say-die attitude, array of vegetarian snacks - five points

Aaron Finch slightly confused as to why he's in, and who all these old blokes are - ten points

Adam Gilchrist says something statesmanlike - five points

Shahid Afridi doesn't - ten points

ECB bans Tamim Iqbal from England cricket after he is seen fraternising with KP - two points

Rahul and Shiv bedding in for the long haul - one point per run, bonus for red-inker

Yuvraj Singh unplayable after lunch. A very large lunch - one point (and extra helpings)

Crowd disappointed when promised pyrotechnics from Boom Boom fail to materialise - one point

Dan Vettori still looks about 14 - one point

Late ICC move to have all future cricket matches contested between just these two sides - five points

As spotted by Alan Tyers tyersandbeach.com

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • on July 5, 2014, 18:46 GMT

    Why finch

    Ponting ???

  • on July 5, 2014, 17:23 GMT

    Derek Don't be a fool- Gilchrist wasn't that good and ramdin has time- if not just take his under 19 captain's record ...

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:43 GMT

    the wall once again gate crashed

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:24 GMT

    my favourite player Ricky Ponting isn't playing.

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    why were Siddle, Gul,Tait, Best and Tamim picked over Ponting, Pollock, Shane Bond, Kallis, Wasim and more

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    Someone; please send a recording of Gilly's wktkeeping and skippering masterclass to Denish Ramdin. Its just too bad he is unable to guest at Lords and watch the game live

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:14 GMT

    I wish Wasim Akram, Mcgrath and Ambrose agreed to play in this match. Also Hayden and Ponying.

    AND I WISH THERE WERE AT LEAST THREE MATCHES BETWEEN THESE SIDES. ONE MATCH DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE OLD PLAYERS WARMING THEIR BODIES UP AND PREPARING THEMSELVES TO PLAY.

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:11 GMT

    True.. The four main spinners.. Warne, Murali, Ajmal & Dan are still better than any current English spinner.

  • on July 4, 2014, 10:50 GMT

    Pavilion collapsed under the combined weight of KP, shane and shahid's egos-million points.

  • 10dulkaRulezz on July 4, 2014, 7:32 GMT

    Is this match commentary covered by Cricinfo? Please let us know if not, we will have a back up plan!

  • on July 5, 2014, 18:46 GMT

    Why finch

    Ponting ???

  • on July 5, 2014, 17:23 GMT

    Derek Don't be a fool- Gilchrist wasn't that good and ramdin has time- if not just take his under 19 captain's record ...

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:43 GMT

    the wall once again gate crashed

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:24 GMT

    my favourite player Ricky Ponting isn't playing.

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    why were Siddle, Gul,Tait, Best and Tamim picked over Ponting, Pollock, Shane Bond, Kallis, Wasim and more

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    Someone; please send a recording of Gilly's wktkeeping and skippering masterclass to Denish Ramdin. Its just too bad he is unable to guest at Lords and watch the game live

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:14 GMT

    I wish Wasim Akram, Mcgrath and Ambrose agreed to play in this match. Also Hayden and Ponying.

    AND I WISH THERE WERE AT LEAST THREE MATCHES BETWEEN THESE SIDES. ONE MATCH DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE OLD PLAYERS WARMING THEIR BODIES UP AND PREPARING THEMSELVES TO PLAY.

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:11 GMT

    True.. The four main spinners.. Warne, Murali, Ajmal & Dan are still better than any current English spinner.

  • on July 4, 2014, 10:50 GMT

    Pavilion collapsed under the combined weight of KP, shane and shahid's egos-million points.

  • 10dulkaRulezz on July 4, 2014, 7:32 GMT

    Is this match commentary covered by Cricinfo? Please let us know if not, we will have a back up plan!

  • Balladeer on July 4, 2014, 7:31 GMT

    Brilliant! A few other suggestions:

    All four main spinners in the game look more dangerous than any currently active English spinner - five points.

    Shane and Gilchrist almost coming to fisticuffs on the field - one point per umpire interruption.

    Finch launches consecutive Warne balls into the stands - twelve points and a wicket next ball.

  • No featured comments at the moment.

  • Balladeer on July 4, 2014, 7:31 GMT

    Brilliant! A few other suggestions:

    All four main spinners in the game look more dangerous than any currently active English spinner - five points.

    Shane and Gilchrist almost coming to fisticuffs on the field - one point per umpire interruption.

    Finch launches consecutive Warne balls into the stands - twelve points and a wicket next ball.

  • 10dulkaRulezz on July 4, 2014, 7:32 GMT

    Is this match commentary covered by Cricinfo? Please let us know if not, we will have a back up plan!

  • on July 4, 2014, 10:50 GMT

    Pavilion collapsed under the combined weight of KP, shane and shahid's egos-million points.

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:11 GMT

    True.. The four main spinners.. Warne, Murali, Ajmal & Dan are still better than any current English spinner.

  • on July 5, 2014, 8:14 GMT

    I wish Wasim Akram, Mcgrath and Ambrose agreed to play in this match. Also Hayden and Ponying.

    AND I WISH THERE WERE AT LEAST THREE MATCHES BETWEEN THESE SIDES. ONE MATCH DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE OLD PLAYERS WARMING THEIR BODIES UP AND PREPARING THEMSELVES TO PLAY.

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    Someone; please send a recording of Gilly's wktkeeping and skippering masterclass to Denish Ramdin. Its just too bad he is unable to guest at Lords and watch the game live

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:15 GMT

    why were Siddle, Gul,Tait, Best and Tamim picked over Ponting, Pollock, Shane Bond, Kallis, Wasim and more

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:24 GMT

    my favourite player Ricky Ponting isn't playing.

  • on July 5, 2014, 16:43 GMT

    the wall once again gate crashed

  • on July 5, 2014, 17:23 GMT

    Derek Don't be a fool- Gilchrist wasn't that good and ramdin has time- if not just take his under 19 captain's record ...