Didn't bat, didn't bowl, didn't catch - but we won!
How many players have really not troubled the scorers in a Test victory?
Adil Rashid's fruitless return at Lord's has been replicated on 13 previous occasions in Tests. Remarkably, it happened twice to the Australian left-arm seamer Bill Johnston in the West Indies in 1954-55: in the third Test in Georgetown and the fifth one in Kingston, the unfortunate Johnston was injured in the field before he had a chance to bowl, and took no further part in either match. These were the last two of Johnston's 40 Tests.
Rather surprisingly perhaps, R Ashwin's double in the second Test at Lord's was the fifth time that the No. 8 batsman top-scored in both a side's innings in a Test. The first instance was in Bangalore in 1995-96, when Lee Germon top-scored in both New Zealand's innings against India. This was Germon's Test debut - and he was captaining the side, too. Guy Whittall followed suit for Zimbabwe against South Africa in Bloemfontein in 1999-2000, and another Zimbabwean, Graeme Cremer, achieved the feat against Sri Lanka in Harare in 2016-17. There was another instance in Hamilton in 2008-09, when Daniel Vettori top-scored from No. 8 in New Zealand's first innings against India, and Brendon McCullum - down the order after a nightwatchman was used - did likewise in the second.
Jimmy Anderson disposed of the luckless M Vijay and Kuldeep Yadav for ducks in both innings at Lord's recently. Only three previous bowlers have previously inflicted two pairs in the same Test. The Australian legspinner Bill O'Reilly accounted for the New Zealanders Gordon Rowe (bowled twice) and Len Butterfield (lbw twice) in Wellington in 1945-46. Jim Laker did it during his demolition of Australia at Old Trafford in 1956 - Neil Harvey and Ken Mackay (who was caught by Alan Oakman in both innings). And finally Dale Steyn did it against New Zealand in Centurion in 2007-08, when his victims were Mark Gillespie (on his Test debut) and Iain O'Brien.
The youngest man to claim a Test five-for was the Pakistan slow left-armer Nasim-ul-Ghani, who was 16 years 307 days old when he took 5 for 116 against West Indies in Georgetown in 1957-58. Around a fortnight later he took 6 for 67 in Port-of-Spain. Next comes Mohammad Amir, who was 17 years 260 days old when he took 5 for 79 for Pakistan against Australia in Melbourne in 2009-10.
I don't think Liam Botham managed it, even though he did play both cricket and rugby league at Headingley. The only man known to have done this particular double is an Australian, Arthur Clues, who was one of the first imports into English rugby league after the Second World War. He scored 74 tries for Leeds, many of them at Headingley. Clues was also a talented cricketer, who had played top-class club cricket in Australia. He died in 1998, and his obituary in The Independent recalled: "During his rugby career, he also played for Leeds Cricket Club, on the cricket ground that adjoins the rugby pitch at Headingley. He is the only man to have scored a try on one side of the shared grandstand and century on the other. He is also recalled as an exceptional tennis player, a keen golfer and an Australian yo-yo champion."
Steven Lynch is the editor of the updated edition of Wisden on the Ashes