Nathan Sowter comes full circle with return to Lord's big stage

Nathan Sowter remembers sitting in the away dressing-rooms at Billericay Cricket Club last September, thinking his professional career had just come to an end.

He had just played his final game in a Middlesex shirt, for their 2nd XI, and did not have a contract lined up for the following summer. "I was pretty much by myself, with a sense that it was probably all over," Sowter recalls. "You're packing up your kit and thinking about how you got to that situation."

A year on, he is sitting in the Bedser Stand at The Oval, speaking to ESPNcricinfo ahead of the biggest game of his life. After landing a contract with Durham during the English winter, Sowter has had the most prolific summer of his career and will play for Oval Invincibles in the Hundred final on Sunday night - at his old home ground, Lord's.

"Playing in a final at Lord's is something you dream of, isn't it?" Sowter says. "I'm going there with full confidence, and no excuses. I know how to bowl at Lord's. I did it for eight seasons with Middlesex, so I feel very confident that, whoever we come up against, I can hopefully have a good day out."

But last season, Middlesex saw things differently. They decided to use the Blast to give opportunities to Luke Hollman and Thilan Walallawita, and Sowter was told a week before the tournament that he was surplus to requirements. He joined Durham on loan, and left Middlesex at the end of his contract.

"I just got phased out," Sowter explains. "That was obviously their decision, and a difficult period of my career. At the time, I was the second leading wicket-taker in Blast history for them. Maybe I didn't have the success that I wanted in red-ball cricket, but they kind of froze me out a bit.

"The person I was five years ago would've kicked up a bigger storm: I'd have gone down with a blaze of glory. But obviously by releasing me, they've given me the opportunity to show what I can do. I like it when I've got my back against the wall and I can show my true character."

In November, Sowter learned that Durham were offering him a deal for 2023 after an impressive loan spell in the Blast; a few days later, he got a call from Tom Moody, Oval Invincibles' coach, offering him a retention for the third season of the Hundred, despite playing only four completed games across the first two years.

And he has quietly been a revelation in both the Blast and the Hundred. Across the two competitions, Sowter has taken 34 wickets this summer - the most of any spinner, and the equal second-most of any bowler. "It's been a bit of a whirlwind," he reflects.

His favourite scalp in the Hundred is Jos Buttler - "it always tastes a bit sweeter when you get the big dogs out" - and he has been used as a strike bowler by Sam Billings. At Edgbaston, he was thrown the ball in the Powerplay, and had Ben Duckett caught as he lined up the short leg-side boundary.

You might not guess that Sowter was a professional athlete if you bumped into him in the street. He is short, slim and wiry, and fidgets throughout our conversation. He is part of an Invincibles dressing-room with an unmistakable Surrey strut, and concedes: "I'd be lying if I said that I didn't struggle a bit with that in the first couple of years."

Yet he is one of seven players who has featured for Invincibles in all three seasons. The pedigree of the other six - Sam and Tom Curran, Billings, Will Jacks, Sunil Narine and Jason Roy - shows just how highly Sowter is regarded by the management and his team-mates.

Sowter now feels at home at The Oval, but has battled with anxiety for several years. "I definitely still deal with it," he says. "I was getting my hair cut yesterday [Wednesday] and was sitting there fretting over the final. The game's not until Sunday! But when you have that time to think, you get all this nervous energy that starts building.

"A couple of games ago, everyone else was warming up and I just sat in the middle of the ground, just having to take a few deep breaths with the physio to reset myself, and make sure I was ready to go and perform at my best. It's an ongoing battle; it's not something I'll ever really get over. But I've got things in place that mean I can control it."

He has made a conscious effort to throw himself into the changing-room. "This year, I've come in and I've been quite loud," he says. "I like getting in amongst it. That's one of my coping mechanisms: I can kind of withdraw myself, or I can get really stuck in as well. The boys have been really good at understanding my situation too.

"I've tried to take the pressure off myself: the worst thing that can happen is they hit you for six, isn't it? And if they hit you for six, someone's cheering in the crowd; at least I've made someone else happy. I know I've got the skill: I just need to let loose and take the shackles off to allow myself to perform."

Sowter's challenge is to take that mindset into a final on Sunday. His dad is preparing to wake up at 3am in Sydney, where Sowter grew up - "He's already got his lounge-bed set up, with all his snacks; I think he's more nervous than I am" - and his girlfriend's family will be in the crowd at Lord's.

"I'm trying to see everything as a bonus," Sowter says. "Twelve months ago, I didn't think I'd be playing cricket, let alone preparing for a final at Lord's." Casting his mind back to Billericay in September, he reflects: "The feeling will be a lot different on Sunday evening when, hopefully, we hold that trophy aloft."