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The Heavy Ball

How to explain cricket to an American

Ever despaired about getting a baseball lover to "get" cricket? These handy hints will help

R Rajkumar
05-Dec-2011
We've all experienced it at one time or another. Those seemingly innocent questions about our beloved game put forth by a stranger who unwittingly and irredeemably demotes himself in your eyes by his shocking ignorance about it. And the faintly mocking and/or ironic tone you're sure you can detect beneath his words isn't helping anyone.
Let's address the bald eagle perched atop the elephant in the room: the person putting these questions to you is, invariably, an American. Perhaps he's a tourist visiting your far-flung cricket-playing nation, or maybe he's just lost in Queens. You take it upon yourself to embark on a heroic quest, trying to explain the nuances that separate and lift cricket above and beyond comparisons to baseball (whatever that is). But it's no use. You soon realise that the American is himself above and beyond reach, that on a certain level, he doesn't really want to understand; if he did, he wouldn't take pleasure in addressing to you that most cherished of complaints: "I don't know how you guys can watch a game that lasts five days, man."
Friends, why waste your valuable time beating your head against this wall? Why put up with it any more than you have to? We all know that trying to explain cricket to an American is not unlike trying to explain chess to someone who has only ever played Battleship, so why not have a bit of fun with the situation instead?
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