The Heavy Ball
Ryder's on the Storm
Jesse and the Doors? There's going to be a punch-up for sure
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok
27-Mar-2011
James Mo comes back to life to write the saga of the New Zealand cricket team
To be sung to the tune of The Doors' "Riders On The Storm".
Ryder's on the storm,
Ryder's on the storm.
Into this bar we're gone
Out of this team we're thrown
Like the Kiwis without Dan
Or Pakistan without a ban.
Ryder's on the storm.
Full postRyder's on the storm.
Into this bar we're gone
Out of this team we're thrown
Like the Kiwis without Dan
Or Pakistan without a ban.
Ryder's on the storm.
Once upon a cricket match in Verona
The fair game in Shakespeare's plays? You'd be surprised
Andrew Hughes
24-Mar-2011
William Shakespeare is perhaps best known as a moderately successful Elizabethan playwright; indeed, one or two of his plays even survive to this day. But more importantly he was also a lower-order biffer and part-time googly merchant of some distinction. This extract from the Warwickshire parish records of 1609 reports perhaps his finest hour on the cricket field: 37 not out in a grudge match at the Stratford Bowl.
"Mister Shakespeare smote the bowling mightily to all parts and much destruction did he wreak by use of a most ungodly stratagem. For when the bowler flung at him, old Will bent him down upon one knee and waved his bat upward at great speed, thus directing the ball to all parts of the field.* Many cows did he strike, and many prayers and curses were offered at such an unholy act. Yet by his smiting, his team held the day and the Stratford Under-Thirteens were defeated by seven wickets."
It is therefore not surprising to find that cricket featured in almost all of his plays, though it was often removed at the request of his editor, who feared that the obsession with bat and ball was detracting from his work. For example, the original Hamlet featured a man tortured by his dilemma over whether to walk or not to walk, and King Lear concerned an elderly umpire racked with guilt over a dodgy lbw decision.
Full postIndia awarded the 2015 World Cup
Also: Gavaskar maintains Tendulkar-mentioning record, and a pub brawl in Sussex over the Ranji Trophy
Anand Ramachandran
23-Mar-2011
Worried by India's inconsistent performance in the World Cup so far, despite the ICC and BCCI making every effort to ensure that the host nation has every possible advantage, cricket administrators are considering simply awarding the 2015 tournament to the Indian team.
"Everybody understands that cricket is profitable only when India wins. Which is why we've tried to schedule matches and generally design the entire tournament format to ensure this - but it still isn't working, yes?" said ICC chief executive Haroon Lorgat, looking worried at the prospect of India's quarter-final exit. "It isn't good for the nerves, or for our wallets, if India exit early. So since everyone seems to be okay with tweaking the tournament format to favour India, next time around we'll just award the championship to India, regardless of what happens in the matches," he said.
Explaining further, Mr Lorgat added, "All the matches will be played as normal, and points will be awarded to the winning team. Except that, if a team wins against India, the match will be awarded to India. This will ensure that India will top the group stages, progress through the knockouts, and happily for all concerned, end up winning."
Full postChoke at the Altar
An old Deep Purple song gets new meaning
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok
21-Mar-2011
Poor Proteas. Most times, pre-tournament form favours them. They're really talented. The neutrals love them, unlike the other dominating team. And every time, something happens. It's almost like they invent a new way of getting out.
This song could be South Africa's new anthem. As a sport-loving neutral, I hope the buck stops in 2011, but I could be cho… er, joking here. To be sung to the tune of Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water".
We all came down to Melbourne
With a deadly easy scoreline
To break records and in some style
We had a lot of time
Full postWith a deadly easy scoreline
To break records and in some style
We had a lot of time
The commentators will take India to the title
Sunny, Ravi and Co are in good shape to ensure the home team wins the World Cup
Daniel Norcross
20-Mar-2011
Startling information contained within a leaked BCCI document reveals for the first time that India is not only top of the ICC Test rankings and favourites to land their second World Cup, but are also leading the world in managing the elite performance-threatening dangers of "commentator burnout".
For years the ICC and national cricket boards have grappled with the vexed issue of fixture congestion, but with spectators demanding a spectacle and players unwilling to play every day, the burden of entertaining an insatiable public has fallen upon the likes of Ravi Shastri, Pommie Mbangwa and Danny Morrison. And as the saying goes "having a tub-thumping, one-eyed and highly partisan commentary team on your side is like going into the game with an extra man".
But India's run of excellent results, not to mention the singularly complicated task of talking up dead fixtures in the later group stages of the IPL was beginning to take its toll on Shastri, Gavaskar and Sivaramakrishnan, so the BCCI stepped in.
Full postAn aggrieved umpire writes
The truth about a recent story involving an elite official, from the horse's mouth
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
19-Mar-2011
Dear editor,
I would like to bring to your attention the biased report, riddled with factual errors, that you have written about my supposed demotion in the ICC World Cup.
Your reporters clearly dislike me - are any of them former Test cricketers? - and are too lazy to check their facts. Let me provide them for you.
Full postDhoni takes to captaincy by social media
Relies on fan opinions via Twitter and Facebook for decision-making
Anand Ramachandran
15-Mar-2011
Indian captain MS Dhoni, under some fire over his choice of Ashish Nehra to bowl the final over in the match against South Africa in Nagpur, has come up with a novel idea - from the next mach on, he's going to crowdsource his captaincy using social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
"Well, of course, it's clear that users of Facebook and Twitter are much better informed about things like team selection, batting order and bowling changes than myself and Gary. So I think the best approach would be to take all crucial decisions by using their collective input. As they say, two hive minds are better than one," said a grinning Dhoni, refusing to elaborate on who "they" might be.
Apparently Dhoni will carry a mobile phone on to the field, using which he will constantly refer to Twitter and Facebook updates from fans watching on TV, who will give him advice on such things as when to take the Powerplay, whether to bring third man up for the new batsman, and what choice epithets to use when berating Piyush Chawla.
Full postAdvice for the walking wounded
Several players at the World Cup have serious medical problems
Nishant Joshi
13-Mar-2011
During the World Cup to date, I have identified several players with afflictions that seem to have gone undiagnosed. I urge them each to seek medical attention immediately.
Piyush Chawla
Thrust into the Indian World Cup side ahead of esteemed colleagues such as Pragyan Ojha and Ravi Ashwin, Chawla has struggled so far. However, unbeknownst to him and the Indian team, he has contracted an infectious, career-threatening disease.
Thrust into the Indian World Cup side ahead of esteemed colleagues such as Pragyan Ojha and Ravi Ashwin, Chawla has struggled so far. However, unbeknownst to him and the Indian team, he has contracted an infectious, career-threatening disease.
Although his primary ailment is clearly being trapped in the body of a small boy, Chawla is currently suffering from a more serious condition: he is noticeably affected by an increasingly common ailment called Paul Harris Syndrome, a crippling neurological disorder in which no matter how hard they try, spinners simply cannot turn the ball to save their lives.
Full postThe truth about Tahir
He fractured his thumb in the nets? That's what you think
Ant Sims
11-Mar-2011
NAGPUR - A thumb-wrestling match between Johan Botha and Imran Tahir turned violent here on Wednesday when the no-longer-future captain of South Africa fractured the thumb of the first Protea who has ever been able to spin a ball.
The two players were having lunch at the hotel where they are staying when Botha challenged Tahir to an apparently friendly duel, but things turned sour when Botha turned Tahir's thumb a bit too much and it resulted in a fracture.
"I mean, we thumb-wrestle in the team all the time. It's how we decide on things like who is going to open the bowling. So I didn't think much of it when Botha asked me to play," Tahir said.
Full postThe World Cup of 75 BC
If you think the current tournament is only the tenth such, you've got another think coming
Andrew Hughes
10-Mar-2011
Cricket archaeologists recently made a startling discovery amongst the ruins of the Coliseum in Rome. Buried underneath a pile of Italian Wisdens, they came across a casket containing the personal effects of the Roman historian Implausibilius. Inside, along with a slightly damaged groin protector and a copy of Richie Benaud's autobiography, they found a dusty scroll; a scroll that described the first ever cricket World Cup, held in Rome, in 75 BC. Here, exclusive to ESPNcricinfo, is the full translation:
"Our beloved Emperor attended the opening festivities of the inaugural Imperial Cup. There was much singing and rejoicing as the captains of the invited teams were led past in chains, although many sage voices were heard to remark that the smaller provinces would not offer much of a challenge, and that it was a mistake to invite the wilder elements. This was proven to be wise as in their first group game the Goths demolished the stadium, set fire to the stumps and were given lifetime bans.
There was more controversy in the quarter-final between Parthia and Scythia, when one of the legionnaires charged with holding aloft the stone scoring tablets, having consumed too much spiced wine at the interval, fainted and dropped his C. The unfortunate Parthians easily scored CCXLVII but were full of wrath when they discovered that they were C short. The Parthian captain protested but after he was thrown to the lions, his team-mates decided to accept the result.
Full post