The Heavy Ball
You won't believe who will win the World Cup
It's a country with a two-word name. No, not New Zealand or West Indies
Sidin Vadukut
16-Feb-2011
A few months before the 2010 football World Cup in South Africa, I rang the embassy of the Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea in New Delhi. As you may recall, the North Koreans had just qualified for the World Cup for the first time since 1966. I was doing a brief article on this somewhat bizarre country's footballing history.
I was hoping to ask the North Korean ambassador to India, or someone in the set-up, how nostalgic they were about 1966 and what expectations they had for 2010. This is how the conversation went:
Me: "Hello, is this the DPRK embassy?"
Full postThe unofficial England team preview
In which, among other things, the unspeakable truth about Stuart Broad is revealed
Ant Sims
14-Feb-2011
England fans will go into the tournament bruised and battered, fresh off their seven-one-day-internationals-oh-my-god-I-wish-we-had-13-instead tour. Said tour served up a freshly dished crop of injured players and the Future Tours Of Carnage demon seems to prefer injuring potential match-winners. They're dropping like flies, these English and non-Englishmen, and replacements and reserves are being called up left, right and centre. While we all would have preferred to see Samit Patel eat up the pies baked by Johan Botha - because, let's face it, eating is what Patel is really good at - Ravi Bopara got the call up to join the token International XI at the World Cup.
The positive is that Stuart Broad will be able to pick out all the pretty clothes and lovely hair products he wants, thanks to a new sponsorship signed by England. We can also all admit that he is, in fact, a female, instead of sitting around like awkward Catholic schoolgirls who've just had their legs stroked by their teacher. We all know that a female performs at her utmost best when her hair looks good, her skin looks good, she wears the prettiest pink tutus, and she has daddy on her side. Lucky for Stuey, Chris Broad is one of the match referees and he will ensure that daddy's little girl doesn't scrape her knees, and gets out of trouble whenever she needs.
Recent form
The only team worse off when it comes to recent ODI form is, well, nobody really. Even the incredibly sub-par New Zealand managed to win more than one one-day international recently. Yes, England might have won the Ashes in Australia but the battle for the miniscule trophy is a completely different ball game to things that involve complex mathematical equations and funky clothing sponsored by big, famous sportswear brands - and let's not forget the gazillion adverts on the television.
Full postThe only team worse off when it comes to recent ODI form is, well, nobody really. Even the incredibly sub-par New Zealand managed to win more than one one-day international recently. Yes, England might have won the Ashes in Australia but the battle for the miniscule trophy is a completely different ball game to things that involve complex mathematical equations and funky clothing sponsored by big, famous sportswear brands - and let's not forget the gazillion adverts on the television.
Imagine
Old songs rewritten with a cricket flavour. First up: a John Lennon ditty
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok
13-Feb-2011
A song written by a young Australian fast bowler on his first visit to the dustbeds of the subcontinent - where he's predictably getting flogged by the batsmen. To be sung to the tune of John Lennon's "Imagine"
Imagine the grass is even
Not easy, you can try
No hell facing us
No sixes in the sky
Imagine all the pitches
Seaming for today, oohoohooh
Not easy, you can try
No hell facing us
No sixes in the sky
Imagine all the pitches
Seaming for today, oohoohooh
Imagine all the countries
Coming here to play
The batsmen making merry
And the bowlers getting flayed
Imagine all this outfield
With a little less… dewwwwww.
Full postComing here to play
The batsmen making merry
And the bowlers getting flayed
Imagine all this outfield
With a little less… dewwwwww.
The glory that was the Australia-England ODI series
Did someone dare say pointless ODIs? The recent seven-game one down under featured nothing of the sort
Alex Bowden
10-Feb-2011
Did the Australia v England one-day series feature everything we'd hoped for? It really wasn't far off. Think of everything you love about cricket. Think of everything you want out of one-dayers, specifically. Did this seven-match series deliver?
Four wicketkeepers in one match
Check. Matt Prior, Steven Davies, Brad Haddin and Tim Paine. Nothing says first XI quite like twice as many wicketkeepers as you would expect.
Check. Matt Prior, Steven Davies, Brad Haddin and Tim Paine. Nothing says first XI quite like twice as many wicketkeepers as you would expect.
Injuries and squad rotation are great when they get this far out of hand. At one point it was suggested that Andy Flower might get a game. This is the international cricket equivalent of roping your dad in to play in the back garden because Paul's sister's gone home in a mood.
Full postThe unofficial South Africa team preview
Watching them won't be particularly good on your health, but you must nevertheless
Ant Sims
09-Feb-2011
The good news for South African fans is that their team will, for the first time in a long time, head into a tournament not being favourites. This means much less stress and panic on the everyday Saffa fan since there are absolutely no expectations.
Expectations create pressure, and as everybody knows, South Africa are notoriously bad at dealing with pressure.
However, with the South African players all convinced that there is much less hype surrounding the tournament this time around, Proteas supporters can focus on more important things like moaning about selection, reading the Alternative Cricket Almanack and learning synonyms for the c-word.
There's even some time to work on their mathematics, particularly the Duckworth-Lewis variety. All these wonderfully educating activities can be performed while guzzling down buckets of fried chicken.
Full postWho's your second team?
In tournaments like the World Cup it's important to pick a side other than your own to support. And maybe even two
Imran Yusuf
07-Feb-2011
The build-up to every World Cup has the same rusty scaffolding every time. The House of Words has the English moaning of tiredness, India talking down the pressure but in the process revealing they're bricking it, South Africa coyly denying knowledge of the C word, and nobody saying anything about New Zealand. The overblown palace of a tournament is finally built over several weeks and come the end it crashes down on a weary cricketing world. One figure usually remains, standing tall amidst the rubble: a grinning Aussie with a gleaming trophy. And then everyone goes home and uses their colourful replica shirt as a tea towel.
In Pakistan we make embarrassing rip-off adverts. The closest that branding has come to art
is transformed into the closest cricket has come to a ballet performance by theatrically challenged five-year-old girls. But then we say to ourselves, "At least we're not India."
For me, one ritual is an ever-present: selecting my second team. Keeping half an eye on another side's progress and smiling at their fortune is a handy way of, firstly, tricking the mind into thinking all is not lost, even when it is, and secondly, regarding oneself as a more well-rounded human being through the heroic act of empathising with others - rather like those people who read novels to become better people. All a bunch of bushwah, but compulsory to retain sanity for every obsessive fan.
Full postWho is the greatest cricketer of them all?
Or even the greatest of the last five years? Or the best left-arm spinner with the white ball? And why are we obsessed with finding them?
Sidin Vadukut
03-Feb-2011
Cricket, as I am sure you may have noticed at some stage, is a team sport. You need several people, with different skills and abilities, to form a decent team. And then you need two such teams, sufficient officials and a plethora of support staff in order to have a respectable first-class match.
(Of course you need a stadium. And if that stadium is Eden Gardens, you need one more stadium.)
Within a team you need people with radically different skills. You need fast bowlers, slow bowlers, aggressive batsmen, defensive batsmen, one batsman from Tamil Nadu, wicketkeepers, allrounders, one captain, one vice-captain in case the captain is not in a position to call the toss; one tailender of questionable bowling ability and inconsistent batting ability, who will almost make you win a match in the form of a stunning comeback but not quite; one random fellow who will field in place of Sachin Tendulkar, who has strained something after the second ball of the first over after India's batting; and one bowler who is open to bowling any type of delivery based on prior arrangements made via booking office in London.
Full postThe Obama of cricket
Also, featuring: the delightful forgetfulness of K Srikkanth, and the case of the postponed protest
Anand Ramachandran
02-Feb-2011
Indian medium-pacer Praveen Kumar's recent statement referring to skipper MS Dhoni as the "Obama of cricket" has sparked off a mini-epidemic of similar utterances by several other players and officials.
Kumar's crazy comparison has led to amused giggles across cricketing circles, but the bowler defended his statement, saying, "Abey yaar, they are very similar. They are both leaders of the No. 1 country in the world. They both replaced men who look remarkably like George W Bush. They both have trademark catchphrases that reverberate with positive energy - Obama says, 'Yes, we can' and Dhoni says, 'Well, of course". And, unlike Jacques Kallis, they both look absolutely nothing like Kate Winslet."
There are some who have taken the Dhoni-Obama thing pretty seriously, though. Pepsi has reportedly approached President Obama to do an advertising campaign wearing creepy body-paint, several small Pacific nations have written to Dhoni asking him for millions of dollars in aid, and the White House is considering appointing Harbhajan Singh as its next chief of staff.
Full postThe fossil record of cricket
Take a palaeontological view of the game and you find a lot of things start to make sense
Liam Herringshaw
27-Jan-2011
A few weeks ago I made my first visit to the home of cricket. I had only a vague idea what to expect, so it was with anticipation that I boarded the train to London. This turned to trepidation as I caught my connection to Brussels and then made my way to Ghent. Would I be able to find any fellow cricketers?
"Well of course you wouldn't!" I hear you bellow. "It's the middle of winter, Lord's is the home of cricket and you're in Belgium, you fool!" To which I respond that my foolishness is unarguable, but not my geography: in 2009, a pair of researchers - one Australian, one German - announced that cricket originated in Flanders.
Tracing the early history of cricket is fraught with difficulty, and using Tudor verse to pin down its origin inevitably controversial. As I was actually in Belgium to attend a palaeontological conference, I realised it was time to try a new approach. It was time to look at fossils.
Full postVettori to replace Vettori
And a new frontier in cricket broadcasting
Anand Ramachandran
25-Jan-2011
In some much-needed good news for the beleaguered New Zealand cricket team, Daniel Vettori has agreed to come out of retirement from captaincy to replace himself as skipper of the national side.
Vettori, who recently gave up the captaincy after a string of poor results, to concentrate on his cricket, agreed to make a comeback as captain immediately after the World Cup, when his current captaincy stint comes to an end.
According to reports, New Zealand prime minister John Key personally requested Vettori to come out of retirement and help guide the team out of a difficult period.
Full post