Right, said Waqar

Waqar: Oofghkhatakhan wajahatullah argybargyargghh... Ahem. Hello?

Mohsin: Waqar! Good afternoon, sirjee.

Waqar: Mohsin, it's 3am here in Sydney.

Mohsin: Oh shoot. Sorry. I've always had bad timing.

Waqar: Yeah, I know, I once saw you bat.

Mohsin: Oooh, somebody's grouchy.

Waqar: And I saw one of your movies.

Mohsin: Oi. I will thrash you!

Waqar: Excuse me, but you're the one who woke me up in the middle of the night. I was having a lovely dream. Basically, I was both me and Wasim Akram. I'd bowl my over and then they'd let me bowl from the other end, left-arm, and I took all the wickets myself, Waz was nowhere to be seen. Everyone loved me, and only me.

Mohsin: Well, sorry for ending that beautiful image.

Waqar: So you should be. You know, considering there are millions of us scattered all over the world, you'd have thought Pakistanis would have understood time differences by now. The east is ahead, the west is behind.

Mohsin: Okay. Got it. But what about north and south?

Waqar: Mohsin, what's up?

Mohsin: Well, that's just it. Firstly, my name. Or rather, our name. With Younis and Yousuf out, the "Yo-Yo" has spun for the final time. I used to love their collective moniker. But now that we're running the show, I think we should have one.

Waqar: Ok, erm... what do you suggest?

Mohsin: How about MoYo? I know my name is first, but YoMo doesn't work - it sounds like we're a Japanese schoolgirl.

Waqar: I don't dispute that. But MoYo is already taken. By Mohammad Yousuf. It's his individual moniker.

Mohsin: Oh, that's just great. We give these stars too many rights. Too much player power. Hmm, let me ponder... how about WaKha?

Waqar: Wakha. Waka. Waqar. It's basically my name, Mohsin.

Mohsin: Yes, well put. Let me get back to you on this. I'll put it on my to-do list. Which reminds me: I must send out that expeditionary search party to discover what became of Asim Kamal.

Waqar: What's top of the list? What's the point of this phone call?!

Mohsin: You know when you get one of those brilliant ideas, those out-of-this-world, change-the-course-of-humanity thoughts, and you just have to share it, and try to implement it asap, while everything feels possible?

Waqar: As captain I once let Younis Khan bowl six overs of his version of legspin in a crucial World Cup match against Australia. Sometimes you should keep your zany ideas to yourself. There's often a reason no one else has ever thought of them.

Mohsin: Not this one. I'm on to a winner with this one, Waqster. Are you ready?

Waqar: I was born ready.

Mohsin: Hey, cool line, man.

Waqar: Yeah? Thanks. And, you know, I didn't mean what I said about your acting. You were really underrated.

Mohsin: Oh, thank you so much.

Waqar: Definitely the second most handsome Khan to ever play for Pakistan.

Mohsin: You're too kind.

Waqar: Yeah, but anway, are we gonna sit here polishing each other's shiny sides all night or are you gonna tell me your idea?

Mohsin: With Rana Naved banned, Umar Gul out of form, Shoaib Akhtar needing a wheelchair to reach the crease, and Yasir Arafat just really bad, we have nobody in the team who can bowl fast yorkers.

Waqar: Sad but true.

Mohsin: A cricket team without a pacer who can shatter the base of the stumps is like a car without wheels, a birthday without cake, a home without a fireplace.

Waqar: Mohsin, you live in Karachi. No homes there have fireplaces. What are you talking about?

Mohsin: We need someone who can reverse-swing the ball like a boomerang. It's essential!

Waqar: Yes...?

Mohsin: We need a fearsome warrior who has tasted all the glories in the past and will instill a victorious spirit in the current team.

Waqar: Yes... ?

Mohsin: We need a saviour to rescue Pakistan cricket from catastrophe!

Waqar: YES ... ?

Mohsin: Waqar, I think you know where this is going. We need to beg someone to come out of retirement.

Waqar: We do... ?

Mohsin: We do.

Waqar: Oh yeah?

Mohsin: Oh yeah.

Waqar: Great! Brilliant! What an idea!

Mohsin: So will you call Wasim or should I?