Guv'nor of the Day
Jade Dernbach, an England bowler whose method relies on infinite variety, treated Jacques Kallis to a slower offcutter. Kallis saw it early, seemed to have an hour to play the shot and struck it imperiously through cover for four. In one ball, Kallis seemed to tell Dernbach that he had seen all his tricks and was even a little bored by them.
12th man of the Day
A close contest, this one. Hashim Amla was rested from South Africa's side and when he came on, polite and bespectacled, he might have been a University professor rather than a great international batsman. Luke Wright, by contrast, ran on with his usual energy for England and looked what he is - an allrounder on the back of a successful T20 season desperate for a game.
Fall guy of the day
It cannot get much worse than this for Ravi Bopara. He looked defeatist, nicked a fast bowler to slip - in this case, not for the first time, Dale Steyn - and departed, hangdog. He deserves sympathy for a time of emotional upheavel but as an England batsman has he ever really been as good as the England management loyally profess?
Question of the Day
The group of fans with "Kevin Who?" signs attached to their shirts were obviously banking on England's batsmen backing up their bravado with a bravura display to provide firm evidence that life was just fine without their superstar-in-exile. They weren't the only ones who were let down.
Disappointment of the Day
No, not England's performance, which barely bordered on competitive, but the size of the crowd. With temporary seating, Durham's ground can hold almost 20,000, but there was no need to throw up extra stands for the first of this three-match series, as around half of the tickets went unsold. Worrying signs for what is supposed to be a cash-cow format.
Tweet of the day
@JohnSunCricket: "Another day, another rubbish cricket match. Surely one of the remaining two T20s will provide some excitement." The Sun's cricket correspondent feels the strain after a long season.