The secret diary of Monty Panesar
In which the England offspinner prepares for his comeback and for producing some cool vids
Alan Tyers
12-Dec-2011
"They've told me I'll be the shadow spinner. Better do a few rounds in the ring to practise" • Getty Images
After a ferocious two-figure bidding war involving some of biggest names in the publishing including What Spinner?, Beard Monthly and Asian Babes, ESPNcricinfo is delighted to announce exclusive serialisation rights to The Secret Made-Up Diary of Monty Panesar.
Here, Monty expresses his delight at his recall to the England Test squad and vows to come roaring back against Pakistan.
Thursday
Apparently they're making the announcement about the squad soon. During the past few weeks I have focused on doing the simple things well: checking the letterbox every morning in case there's a letter, watching Swanny's tweets carefully for any clues, keeping my phone fully charged and in the right areas (i.e. pocket of my favourite cagoule). Like anything, waiting for a phone call is about having a good repeatable routine and focusing on your skill sets.
Apparently they're making the announcement about the squad soon. During the past few weeks I have focused on doing the simple things well: checking the letterbox every morning in case there's a letter, watching Swanny's tweets carefully for any clues, keeping my phone fully charged and in the right areas (i.e. pocket of my favourite cagoule). Like anything, waiting for a phone call is about having a good repeatable routine and focusing on your skill sets.
Friday
My hard work with the phone has paid off: it rang this morning. I've swooped, got hold of it, dropped it and then just grabbed on at the second attempt (all those hours of being shouted at by fielding coach Mr Halsall are finally paying off). Mr Flower gave me the good news about making the squad for the winter, but warned me that we are going to be playing in a soulless, atmosphere-less concrete non-entity in the middle of nowhere. That was confusing: I didn't know we were playing in Luton.
My hard work with the phone has paid off: it rang this morning. I've swooped, got hold of it, dropped it and then just grabbed on at the second attempt (all those hours of being shouted at by fielding coach Mr Halsall are finally paying off). Mr Flower gave me the good news about making the squad for the winter, but warned me that we are going to be playing in a soulless, atmosphere-less concrete non-entity in the middle of nowhere. That was confusing: I didn't know we were playing in Luton.
Saturday
I asked Mr Flower how come the Pakistan players, who are Pakistani, got to play their matches in a foreign country. He said why didn't I ask Kevin or Craig or Eoin or Trotty. I never knew they were Pakistani.
I asked Mr Flower how come the Pakistan players, who are Pakistani, got to play their matches in a foreign country. He said why didn't I ask Kevin or Craig or Eoin or Trotty. I never knew they were Pakistani.
Sunday
There'll probably be a lot of media commitments this winter. I heard from a source at the ECB that they're "looking for some video diaries from England's coolest, cult hero spinner". Nice. Question is: what am I going to put in them?
There'll probably be a lot of media commitments this winter. I heard from a source at the ECB that they're "looking for some video diaries from England's coolest, cult hero spinner". Nice. Question is: what am I going to put in them?
Monday
Had a good message of support from Shane Warne: "Now you can play 40 Tests exactly the same." Fingers crossed! Duncan Fletcher also phoned to say that he would have taken Gilo, but try not to let myself down with the bat if possible.
Had a good message of support from Shane Warne: "Now you can play 40 Tests exactly the same." Fingers crossed! Duncan Fletcher also phoned to say that he would have taken Gilo, but try not to let myself down with the bat if possible.
Bit anxious and couldn't sleep. Practised my interview technique by looking in the mirror as if I was a bit frightened and then saying "good areas" a lot. Fell asleep pretty quickly. Had this weird dream where I was carrying a massive tray with drinks on it and I had to keep catching ice cubes as they fell out of the sky. I dropped them and Jimmy Anderson shouted at me. What could it mean?
Check out CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries, by Tyers and Beach
All quotes and "facts" in this piece are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?