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The Heavy Ball

'Life is a pilgrimage from nowhere to nowhere'

That and other world-class offerings in our round-up of the notable cricket Twitter action of the week

Alex Bowden
26-Apr-2012
Parnell: SA player in unfortunate use on Twitter of "choking" shocker  •  Getty Images

Parnell: SA player in unfortunate use on Twitter of "choking" shocker  •  Getty Images

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Once given the chance I'm gonna bowl at the speed of sound #97mphAlwayz"
For the record, Tino, sound actually travels at 340.29 metres a second. 97mph is more like the speed of a Vauxhall Cavalier going downhill on a dual carriageway.
Getting to know God
The great thing about Twitter is that it provides a window into the lives of some of the sport's biggest stars. It's particularly intriguing to get an insight into the life of the biggest name of all.
"Had couple of net sessions and feeling good. Tomorrow is an important game for us in Mumbai."
@sachin_rt (Sachin Tendulkar)
The demon barber requirement
Obviously, the highlight of the week was Sourav Ganguly's bizarre, bouncing flap of hair shortly after he bowled Kevin Pietersen in the IPL. Yuvraj Singh was so horrified, he wanted to take action.
Dada I'm coming on 26th to pune with some hair gel and a scissor ! So you have one day to decide"
@YUVSTRONG12
Go for the scissor, Sourav. He surely won't achieve much with just one.
Not literally every part of the ground, Wayne. De Villiers didn't smash it into the toilets, for example. But Parnell's not the only one who has literally no idea how to use a certain word.
Fortunately, Broad was still using Twitter the next day, so we can assume he found some way to cope in the end.
Life in county cricket
One player managed to pretty much sum up the experience of playing county cricket in fewer than 140 characters.
Graham Onions was having a better experience, however:
"Didn't sleep a wink last night at the excitement of a lords lunch,roll on 1pm"
@BunnyOnions
Meanwhile, in India:
Jobseeker's allowance
Andrew Flintoff asked Kevin Pietersen if Delhi Daredevils had any need of "an old allrounder who can't bat and too unfit to bowl". But what kind of salary would he demand?
No one in cricket can resist a Mike Gatting joke
Not even the BBC's Jonathan Agnew (@Aggerscricket).
*April 26, 2012, 1435GMT: The Twitter handle of Simon Jones was changed to si610

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket