Mutiny: a step-by-step process
Fed up of the Indian board's bullying, the other boards discuss a boycott
Samantha Pendergrast
09-Feb-2013
N Srinivasan: a fan of The Calling's hit single "Wherever You Will Go" • ICC/Getty
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
To: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au;
safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za;
windiesstrike@carib.com;
banglatigers@minnow-bashing.com;
slcricket@gov.lk;
blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz;
pcb_zakadarocker@iluvimmy.com;
zimcricket@mugabe.com
safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za;
windiesstrike@carib.com;
banglatigers@minnow-bashing.com;
slcricket@gov.lk;
blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz;
pcb_zakadarocker@iluvimmy.com;
zimcricket@mugabe.com
Chaps,
I can't believe how spineless we were at the ICC meeting. Srini says India won't tour any country that wants DRS and instead of flipping the table so all the tea dregs fell on his safari suit, we stayed mum! In fact Dharamadasa offered to host all its Tests at the SSC so Indian batsmen could find form (and records) again. Ha! Srini glared at you, thinking you were being sarcastic, and I thought, "Uh oh you there go the Sri Lankan player salaries for the next five years." But you weren't being sarcastic.
What are we so scared of? TV rights? Considering how much their team sucks, it's unlikely anyone will want to watch them in a couple of years. So let's boycott the hell out of them. Go to the mattresses to ride out the storm and brace ourselves for the suckerpunch before taking control of our futures.
Who's with me?
G
G
From: zimcricket@mugabe.com
Mind the mixed metaphors, old boy
Mind the mixed metaphors, old boy
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
But you don't need DRS to dismiss them, do you?
But you don't need DRS to dismiss them, do you?
From: windiesstrike@carib.com
"Boycott" - I really hate that word. Call it "Interpersonal relationship hiatus" and I'm in.
"Boycott" - I really hate that word. Call it "Interpersonal relationship hiatus" and I'm in.
From: blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz
But will you all guarantee to play with us?
But will you all guarantee to play with us?
From: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au
Mate, everyone wants to play you. But how do we stay united in the face of the IPL?
Mate, everyone wants to play you. But how do we stay united in the face of the IPL?
From: banglatigers@minnow-bashing.com
You're all welcome to join the BPL instead.
You're all welcome to join the BPL instead.
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
Hahahahhahahahhahha
Hahahahhahahahhahha
From: banglatigers@minnow-bashing.com
What?
What?
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
Er… I was laughing at "safari suit". I mean who even wears that these days?
Er… I was laughing at "safari suit". I mean who even wears that these days?
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
Focus, people. Forget the IPL. Anyone who wants to play it can play. Once we refuse to tour India or host them, the value of their international cricketers will begin to drop and as a result the IPL's too.
Focus, people. Forget the IPL. Anyone who wants to play it can play. Once we refuse to tour India or host them, the value of their international cricketers will begin to drop and as a result the IPL's too.
From: slcricket@gov.lk
But what if the BCCI threatens our players by withdrawing their franchise millions unless they play India internationally? What if the players start their own rebel boards and play the Indian team?
But what if the BCCI threatens our players by withdrawing their franchise millions unless they play India internationally? What if the players start their own rebel boards and play the Indian team?
From: pcb_zakadarocker@iluvimmy.com
I have a sneaking suspicion yours are going to do that regardless.
I have a sneaking suspicion yours are going to do that regardless.
From: slcricket@gov.lk
Shut up. At least they make runs.
Shut up. At least they make runs.
From: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au
But do they earn them?
But do they earn them?
From: blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz
Any more united and the BCCI will be eating out of our hands.
Any more united and the BCCI will be eating out of our hands.
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
Yeah, come on guys. India is not even the final frontier anymore. Anyone can beat them.
Yeah, come on guys. India is not even the final frontier anymore. Anyone can beat them.
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
Are you trying to belittle what Cookie and Co achieved?
Are you trying to belittle what Cookie and Co achieved?
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
What? No, I'm just saying if you have good fast bowlers, you can win anywhere.
What? No, I'm just saying if you have good fast bowlers, you can win anywhere.
From: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au
So you mean Siddle and Co will break their backs in India for nothing?
So you mean Siddle and Co will break their backs in India for nothing?
From: blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz
You know, we did fairly well in India too, holding them to a draw.
You know, we did fairly well in India too, holding them to a draw.
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
Exactly my point! It's not even a frontier anymore.
Exactly my point! It's not even a frontier anymore.
From: blackcaps@hadlee.co.nz
Hey! Ah… who am I kidding? You're right.
Hey! Ah… who am I kidding? You're right.
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
I have seen Under-10s on sugar rush at Disneyland with better concentration abilities!
I have seen Under-10s on sugar rush at Disneyland with better concentration abilities!
From: windiesstrike@carib.com
You know Srini said he could arrange our pre-IPL retreat at Disneyland this year.
You know Srini said he could arrange our pre-IPL retreat at Disneyland this year.
From: pcb_zakadarocker@iluvimmy.com
With families?
With families?
From: windiesstrike@carib.com
We could ask. Last year trip's to Bordeaux was fun, wasn't it? Though there are among us those who aren't allowed entry into France after that.
We could ask. Last year trip's to Bordeaux was fun, wasn't it? Though there are among us those who aren't allowed entry into France after that.
From: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au
Come on, even Hawk-Eye couldn't have predicted I'd land on that lady's lap.
Come on, even Hawk-Eye couldn't have predicted I'd land on that lady's lap.
From: cementhead@rollwiththemoney.com
Ha!
Ha!
From: Ozrules@ashesourashes.com.au
Eh? Who's that?
Eh? Who's that?
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
I didn't send this mail to anyone else but the eight of you.
I didn't send this mail to anyone else but the eight of you.
From: pcb_zakadarocker@iluvimmy.com
A leak? Check the BCB laptops. They can't be trusted. They never keep their word!
A leak? Check the BCB laptops. They can't be trusted. They never keep their word!
From: banglatigers@minnow-bashing.com
You're one to talk!
You're one to talk!
From: zimcricket@mugabe.com
Calm down, folks. Cricket administration is a tough job. Not all of us can be awesome at it.
Calm down, folks. Cricket administration is a tough job. Not all of us can be awesome at it.
From: safferboys@thisisnochoke.co.za
LOL. My tummy hurts!
LOL. My tummy hurts!
From: zimcricket@mugabe.com
Swallowed something?
Swallowed something?
From: ecb1981@cricket.co.uk
Can we track the IP address?
Can we track the IP address?
From: Ozrules@lookingforaspinner.com.au
Afraid not. We decided not to use the technology.
Afraid not. We decided not to use the technology.
…………
BCCI headquarters
Lackey: Sir, do you think it was a good idea to push the other boards to the brink with the threat of not touring. Aren't you worried they may turn against you?
Srini: Son, I put the "bcc" in BCCI.
Lackey: Huh?
Srini: Buhahhahahhahahhaha