England farce threatens to run and run (27 July 1999)

27 July 1999

England farce threatens to run and run

Michael Henderson

After a defeat as humbling as the one England suffered at Lord's on Sunday, it is necessary to take a deep breath before attempting to pronounce on it. That breath having been taken, as deeply as is humanly possible, it must be admitted that it was the worst performance by an England side for as long as anybody can remember.

The important numbers were nine, four and 186, which represented respectively the size of New Zealand's wickets victory, the days required to achieve it, and the feeble first-innings total they had to overtake. This was truly an abominable performance which called into question everything done in the name of English cricket.

Right from the start the match appeared to have been designed by Fred Karno. Alex Tudor pulled out the evening before when Surrey and England got their signals crossed. Angus Fraser, summoned as cover from a championship match in Taunton, drove as far as Chiswick before he was told to go back. No serious thought was evidently given to the choice of locum in case Nasser Hussain got hurt.

Two more key numbers are 66 and 32. The first relates to those players in county cricket who have won England caps (in other words, six whole teams); the second signifies those who played fewer than 10 Tests (excluding four lads who may come again), which suggests their selection bore little fruit. So when the call goes up for fresh faces, as it does, bear in mind there are not many players out there who have not been tried before.

Underpinning all this, like the pattern in a carpet, was Duncan Fletcher's Scottish trip, which has become the most celebrated since George IV journeyed north to greet his loyal subjects in 1822. The man who, in October, becomes England coach was enjoying a brief holiday when the England and Wales Cricket Board should have issued a three-line whip demanding his presence.

What a palaver! In the course of the last week England have managed to produce a farce which would have packed out the old Whitehall Theatre for months. The Manchester Test, which begins next Thursday, appears to have enough material for a sequel. Hussain is out for a start, and nobody is sure who will replace him.

A progressive choice might be Mark Butcher, who has led Surrey this season when Adam Hollioake has not been there, and who is a tenacious, thoughtful fellow. The memory of his silly second-innings dismissal, however, may be too clear in the selectors' minds when they share their thoughts on Saturday morning.

Alternatively, it could be Michael Atherton, who stood down from the captaincy in Antigua last year and who has since lost his opening place, stricken by a back injury he is only now beginning to get over. Surely it cannot be Atherton. He has yet to prove he is fit enough to return as a player and until he has done so, to everybody's satisfaction, he can expect no favours.

These are mere ripples on the surface. The pond itself is fetid, and the players are not the only ones responsible, though a few facts are useful in understanding how even the most talented of them continue to fall short of expectations.

Graham Thorpe, for instance, is considered the best batsman in the side, and he probably is. But since making the last of his six Test hundreds in Barbados 16 months ago, he has made two half-centuries in 14 innings and passed 10 only four times. In this series his three completed innings have brought 20 runs.

Mark Ramprakash has done better, particularly in Australia, where a back injury restricted Thorpe to a single Test before he was forced to return home. Even so, in the 14 Tests since Ramprakash made his maiden Test century against the West Indies, his best score is 69. In his 36 Tests, he still has only one hundred and at the moment he looks a long way short of his best form.

Thorpe and Ramprakash will both play at Old Trafford, and Thorpe may even lead the team out, as he did when Hussain was injured last Saturday. It is worth bearing in mind, though, that England continue to lose Tests by failing to put make enough runs in their first innings. If one takes 350 to be par, then England have gone round 'under' on only four occasions in the last 18 Tests. Yet these are, by and large, the best players England have got.

Reflecting on the latest defeat, David Graveney said: "The construction of a Test match innings is an area in which we are lacking." Or, to put it another way, the batsmen played too many one-day shots. So what have the first-class counties just done? They have voted to bring back the Benson and Hedges Cup which, last season, they agreed to do away with.

By all means blame the players. When they play as feebly as they did at Lord's, they cannot escape censure. Blame them for their shot selection, bowling that was all over the place, and when they miss catches, blame them for those, too. Blame them for lacking curiosity, if you like; for being, as one distinguished non-sporting journalist put it the other day, "the thickest bunch of people ever to play for England".

Blame them, but divert some of that anger towards those who run the game. Lord MacLaurin said two years ago, when he became chairman of the ECB, that he would not stick around if he could not push through his reforms. He is still there. A very high-up person indeed said recently, during a discussion on the domestic game: "You mean they used to play three-day cricket?"

So long as that kind of buffoonery is tolerated in the game's highest offices, and pen-pushers are promoted beyond their station; so long as the counties cannot even make up their minds what they really want; so long as mediocrity is encouraged at the expense of all else, then the players cannot be the only people held to account.

Somehow, the Lancashire club have shifted 26,990 tickets for the Old Trafford Test. Once again the match represents a chance to roll the stone up the hill of public indifference. Before then, this Sunday, there is the final of the Benson and Hedges Super Cup. Can't wait.

Duncan Fletcher, the new England coach, is planning to meet the team during the third Test next week. Yesterday he said: "There's definitely a very big chance I'll go to Old Trafford to see the players."

David Graveney, the chairman of selectors, added: "There has been an open invitation to Duncan ever since he was appointed. He has got to come and meet the players at some stage and get to know them, otherwise he'll be going in cold for this winter's tour to South Africa and Zimbabwe."

Source :: Electronic Telegraph (https://www.telegraph.co.uk)