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Ten things commentators will be shafted for shilling next year

S Ingle
Yashpal Singh tries to pull off a catch just inches off the turf, Kings XI Punjab v Kolkata Knight Riders, IPL, 6th game, Durban, April 21, 2009

His clothes will need a bleeping wash now, won't they?  •  Getty Images

1. "That was a Tide of a dive by Gibbs at gully. Boy, those clothes will need a Tide wash."
2. "The umpire has just declared that a Dunlop Spectrawide. Tough call, if you ask me. It didn't look all that Dunlop Spectrawide from here."
3. "Another Levis Skinny Leg-bye is added to the total. Great Levis Skinny Leg running between the wickets by the batsmen."
4. "Clipped away just wide of mid-off for a quick Radio One single."
5. "Nicely glanced away to fine-leg for a couple."
6. "Ooh, that was a poor bit of fielding that resulted in the batsmen coming back for 3 Mobile runs when all they should have got was a couple."
7. "After that Big TV No Name ball from Munaf, it's time for a brand-free hit."
8. "That's been driven through the Gap Inc for a Borders boundary."
9. "Good Housekeeping ball from Warne. It pitched just outside the Crabtree Switches off stump. Timex watchfully CPM left alone by the batsman."
10. "A wild Sensex swing from Yusuf Pathan that connects for another DLF Maximum!"