'Ridiculous' batting, a gigantic trophy and other piffle

Clashes, video-tapes and fines If you thought the Fatullah Test was dramatic then you hadn't seen anything yet. The opening day at Chittagong was quite something: photojournalists get beaten up; fellow journalists conduct a sit-in protest in the middle of the ground and delay start of play by ten minutes; more police arrive during the lunch break and assault more journalists; some run into the Bangladesh dressing-room where cricketers provide them with first aid; and a mystified Ricky Ponting video-tapes the injured mediamen. Ponting, probably too dazed by it all, went on to breach Law 1.3 of the ICC Code which relates to "showing dissent at an umpire's decision by action or verbal abuse." Australia end the day on top and all is well with the world.

'This is ridiculous' Jason Gillespie would have been entitled to say that after the events of the first day, but what he was referring to was in fact his own innings, the first-ever double-century by a nightwatchman, where he went past the personal-bests of Mark Waugh, Steve Waugh and David Boon. It was such a long shot that Gillespie, as well as Matthew Hayden, had wagered that they would do a nude lap around the Adelaide Oval if he got to 200. Australia completed a whitewash but, boy oh boy, the world's gone bananas.

The biggest trophy ever Thank god India and Pakistan shared the DLF Cup in Abu Dhabi. Else, either captain might have struggled to hold aloft the 45-inch tall 45kg trophy made of gold, silver and diamonds with Jaipur's famous meenakari work around. Younis Khan, who led Pakistan to victory in the first match, had a simple explanation for his success - "Whenever I am out of form, I get to play against India and I regain my form" - but he was completely stumped when Rameez Raja, the opening batsman-turned-commentator, congratulated him on his first half-century against India (when it was actually his third).

It's about the sweat Sunil Gavaskar, the original Wall, is shocked. "I would be willing to sweat 365 days in a year for India," he says while referring to players' complaints about excessive cricket. "Those who can't stand the heat should stay out." Ironically Gavaskar's statements came a few days after Andrew Strauss had to be given saline drips in sweltering Jamshedpur. So Tim May, the president of International Cricketers Association, Ponting, Steve Waugh and the rest, who had problems with the packed schedule, have stiff competition. Bring out the deodorants. Let the sweat-fest begin.

New season, old kits Northamptonshire players were in a fix even before a single ball had been bowled on the opening day of the season. Reason? Because their new kit did not arrive in time. According to the club, the embarrassing situation arose after the kit was delayed at customs on its way from the manufacturers in, take a deep breath, China. It meant that the whole team were forced to squeeze into youth team shirts and wear jumpers from last season's kit on the first day against Essex.

Dump those statistics and rankings, mate It was a memorable week for Makhaya Ntini and Mahendra Singh Dhoni. One became the first South African bowler to take 10-wicket hauls in two successive Tests; the other climbed to the top of the ICC one-day rankings. But did they care? Ntini said, "I don't really pay attention to records and such things. I just take the ball and bowl. That's my job. All those statistics just muddle your thinking. And Dhoni was equally frank: "Ranking does not matter. The team is more important."

Quote-hanger "There's a saying 'every dog is bad in his backyard'. We knew what we have here, we had home advantage, ... but we backed ourselves, and we just did it." - David Williams, the former West Indies wicketkeeper, was elated after Trinidad & Tobago won the Carib Beer Cup final, despite home advantage.