If you thought Yuvraj Singh's hat-trick last week was unlikely, then the odds on a Rohit Sharma hat-trick would've been longer than Kolkata's list of woes. And yet, somehow Mumbai conspired to give Rohit not just three in three but four in five, crashing from 97 for 3 to 126 all out, while chasing 146. Next week, an MS Dhoni double hat-trick.
Finally a Pakistani presence at the IPL, and the "clessiest ect" at that, as Ramiz "Rambo" Raja duly took his place alongside the spin doctors and cheerleaders also known as the IPL commentary team. Sporting an Amitabh Bachchan circa-70s hairdo, Rambo was straightaway in touch: Shadab Jakati was mistaken for Manpreet Gony, Karan Goel was not a big hitter (as he only had a strike-rate of about 200 in his first game), and Rohit Sharma "may not have the purple cap but he's in the middle of a purple patch". Even "Yovraaj" is now "Yooovraj". Legend.
Lalit Modi, the ruler of India and all the free world, who announced he might consider cutting the strategy break down from seven-and-a-half minutes to five. Not since Star Plus took the K-serials off air have TV viewers been showered with such kindness. Could only be exceeded by the death of Simon Cowell.
Because he drinks beer. On the field. During a game. You rascal, you.
Chris Gayle: "May this tournament go on forever." Arriving in England milliseconds before the toss at Lord's, perhaps Gayle believed it would.
Sreesanth (see below)
Matthew Hayden, welcoming back the breakdancer, famous slappee and future hair-straightening-products brand ambassador: "He is a particularly overrated bowler. He loses his cool under pressure." Eight overs, 81 runs and one wicket since Sreesanth's comeback and a severe spanking from Hayden suggests the Australian may also have a point.
As Punjab were hunting down an imposing target, Yuvraj Singh and Mahela Jayawardene well-embedded, the Chennai captain brought on Suresh Raina. Forty-four was looking eminently gettable from four overs, but Raina's flattish offspin did the trick. Thus did Dhoni confirm himself as the Bollywood Brearley.
Because Lalit Modi says so. Obviously.
Because Ravi Bopara says it helped him score a Test hundred at Lord's.
Graeme Swann opened the bowling. For England. In a Test. At Lord's.
Kolkata Knight Riders' postcard to Umar Gul after his demolition of Australia in Dubai: what a difference arguably the world's best Twenty20 bowler would have made to KKR's fortunes this season.