IPL April 28, 2010

Thank you, IPL, you complete me

  The post-IPL landscape is strewn with bleary-eyed and confused souls, people such as you and me, fellow cricket tragics, who must somehow soldier on in a world where intervals of time are not sponsored and big beige balloons go
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You know the IPL is over when you begin to miss Mandira Bedi © AFP
 
The post-IPL landscape is strewn with bleary-eyed and confused souls, people such as you and me, fellow cricket tragics, who must somehow soldier on in a world where intervals of time are not sponsored and big beige balloons go unworshipped. Ahead of us, a bleak, barren prospect, with no bat on ball action to look forward to for three long, tedious days until the World Twenty20 gets underway.

And behind us, an implausible seven-week long party that seemed as though it would never end, yet suddenly did, at eight o’clock on Sunday night. The IPL final has already passed into my subconscious and I can only recollect it dimly, like a man with a hangover trying to reconstruct the night before. Were there really hovercrafts? Did Harbhajan bat at four? Was there a 50-metre high cricketer? Or was it the gin?

So as I sipped my coffee on Monday morning, my skull still reverberating to the echo of a tumult of horns and drums, I pondered how best to sum up the IPL. But how do you begin to describe the ineffable? Perhaps with carefully weighed judgements, sober analysis and objective conclusions, delivered with the gravitas of the seasoned cricket journalist? That would be one way, certainly, but it wouldn’t be the Long Handle way.

Instead, I decided to thank the people who make the IPL what it is. And where better to start than with that multitude of corporate bodies without whom, as we all know, cricket would not exist. The odd name check here and there is a small price for the viewer to pay, so I’d like to give my own tribute to the companies that brought us the IMF Maximum, the Caramel Cream Catch and the Silly Moment of Success. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Then there are the commentators, whose steadfast, dogged loyalty is a shining example to employees everywhere. For example, during the final, Robin Jackman was standing up for the Spidercam, an expensive contraption that requires three men and a NASA control room to operate. Viewers were invited to vote on whether it was a good innovation and 15% of respondents displayed a distressing independence of thought by clicking on ‘no’. “I’d like to know who those 15% were,” chuntered Jackers. Don’t worry Robin, I’m sure Lalit knows where they live.

Still, if I might digress for a moment, at the risk of incurring the wrath of Robin, I have to admit that I sided with the 15% on this one. There is no denying that Spidercam offers a unique perspective. Specifically, it offers the perspective of a drunken vertigo sufferer bungee jumping from a moving crane. Startling, no doubt, but what it adds to our understanding of the game is not immediately clear, unless it is part of a campaign to boost IPL viewing figures in that all important arachnid demographic.

And finally, thank you to ITV4. I’m going to forgive you for helping to perpetuate the punditry career of Mr Ronald Irani for three reasons. Firstly, for your opening title sequence. It was lovely. Secondly, for Mandira Bedi, whose sparkly presence alleviated the suffocating banality of the all-male studio ensemble. And thirdly, for Simon Hughes, who possesses those precious qualities rarely displayed by the ex-cricketer on television: an enquiring mind and an interest in cricket.

Andrew Hughes is a writer currently based in England

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Chennai King on May 25, 2010, 21:57 GMT

    at first it seemed the bcci got it right by suspending MODI and issuing him a show cause notice. Now its emerging how Srinivasan (owner of chennai super kings) made rules to suit his team. Handpicking umpires and issues related to player auction is really shameful on you. Proud Chennai Super Kings fan but ashamed about the club's owner.SHAME U SRINIVASAN

  • OSIA on May 12, 2010, 5:22 GMT

    And most of all Thank you, IPL, you not to let pakistani players play, so they still fresh and going to win t20 wc again are not tired and injured like Indians. Modi is grat and true indian good luck to him in his next interview with ICC.

  • cricketja on May 5, 2010, 21:03 GMT

    These guys just don't get it do they Andrew. It's apparent that they don't know what sarcasm is. Read the caption gentlemen: "You know the IPL is over when you begin to miss Mandira Bedi"

  • Carlton (Fresh Prince of Bel Air) on May 5, 2010, 15:26 GMT

    Modi should get a public flogging if he was in any way responsible for hiring Bedi and her colourful outfits

  • rayyan on May 1, 2010, 6:56 GMT

    i hate ipl...its ***********

  • RAHUL THAPLIYAL on May 1, 2010, 5:16 GMT

    yeah andrew it was a great experience at ipl and your article clearly depicts it. but to make it clear it was - DLF MAXIMUM(NOT IMF), it was KARBONN KAMAAL CATCH (NOT CARAMEL CREAM) and it was CITI MOMEMT OF SUCCESS (NOT SILLY). all these are sponsors names.

  • Anonymous on April 30, 2010, 16:07 GMT

    I must say that Andrew Hughes is getting really good at this. I cracked up in the beginning "in a world where intervals of time are not sponsored and big beige balloons go unworshipped" :)

    It started getting very irritating, every 5 minutes, the cam would zoom on that balloon and every commentator would go "There is the MRF blimp....blah blah.. pace academy..blah"

  • Harsh on April 30, 2010, 11:24 GMT

    Guys who commented so far - did you not see the sarcasm? Do you read between lines atall?

    Say what you may Drew, IPL had its moments. Its doesnt matter who writes what, not even this comment, IPL is here to stay. So have a few beers (or is it gin you prefer?), and wait for the next one

  • Wajad on April 30, 2010, 6:49 GMT

    I agree with you about Mandira Bedi and her colourful outfits and enthusiastic support for CSK. I will miss that. Thank you ITV4. Though not so sure about Simon Hughes! Mostly I will miss reading your comments on IPL. Perhaps you may continue in the same vein with the World 20/20 games about to get under way. But, will it have the razz matazz, spidercam and intrigues of the IPL? Who will you poke fun at? I await with abated breath! Regards

  • Shrihari on April 29, 2010, 6:43 GMT

    "a drunken vertigo sufferer bungee jumping from a moving crane" still laughing & looking forward to using it in some conversation! Master piece!!

  • Chennai King on May 25, 2010, 21:57 GMT

    at first it seemed the bcci got it right by suspending MODI and issuing him a show cause notice. Now its emerging how Srinivasan (owner of chennai super kings) made rules to suit his team. Handpicking umpires and issues related to player auction is really shameful on you. Proud Chennai Super Kings fan but ashamed about the club's owner.SHAME U SRINIVASAN

  • OSIA on May 12, 2010, 5:22 GMT

    And most of all Thank you, IPL, you not to let pakistani players play, so they still fresh and going to win t20 wc again are not tired and injured like Indians. Modi is grat and true indian good luck to him in his next interview with ICC.

  • cricketja on May 5, 2010, 21:03 GMT

    These guys just don't get it do they Andrew. It's apparent that they don't know what sarcasm is. Read the caption gentlemen: "You know the IPL is over when you begin to miss Mandira Bedi"

  • Carlton (Fresh Prince of Bel Air) on May 5, 2010, 15:26 GMT

    Modi should get a public flogging if he was in any way responsible for hiring Bedi and her colourful outfits

  • rayyan on May 1, 2010, 6:56 GMT

    i hate ipl...its ***********

  • RAHUL THAPLIYAL on May 1, 2010, 5:16 GMT

    yeah andrew it was a great experience at ipl and your article clearly depicts it. but to make it clear it was - DLF MAXIMUM(NOT IMF), it was KARBONN KAMAAL CATCH (NOT CARAMEL CREAM) and it was CITI MOMEMT OF SUCCESS (NOT SILLY). all these are sponsors names.

  • Anonymous on April 30, 2010, 16:07 GMT

    I must say that Andrew Hughes is getting really good at this. I cracked up in the beginning "in a world where intervals of time are not sponsored and big beige balloons go unworshipped" :)

    It started getting very irritating, every 5 minutes, the cam would zoom on that balloon and every commentator would go "There is the MRF blimp....blah blah.. pace academy..blah"

  • Harsh on April 30, 2010, 11:24 GMT

    Guys who commented so far - did you not see the sarcasm? Do you read between lines atall?

    Say what you may Drew, IPL had its moments. Its doesnt matter who writes what, not even this comment, IPL is here to stay. So have a few beers (or is it gin you prefer?), and wait for the next one

  • Wajad on April 30, 2010, 6:49 GMT

    I agree with you about Mandira Bedi and her colourful outfits and enthusiastic support for CSK. I will miss that. Thank you ITV4. Though not so sure about Simon Hughes! Mostly I will miss reading your comments on IPL. Perhaps you may continue in the same vein with the World 20/20 games about to get under way. But, will it have the razz matazz, spidercam and intrigues of the IPL? Who will you poke fun at? I await with abated breath! Regards

  • Shrihari on April 29, 2010, 6:43 GMT

    "a drunken vertigo sufferer bungee jumping from a moving crane" still laughing & looking forward to using it in some conversation! Master piece!!

  • Usama on April 29, 2010, 6:19 GMT

    yup!!!!! you ppl at IPL did fantastic job of bringing abt 7 week long extravaganza live and exclusive. which was never complete with Mandira Jee

  • mohsin on April 29, 2010, 5:01 GMT

    this one was classic. but the ipl is over so wat u gonna write about lmao

  • vikas on April 29, 2010, 1:08 GMT

    enough already. Fade away now Mr hughes now.

  • Utpal on April 28, 2010, 18:12 GMT

    Can't agree with you all the way, Ms Bedi was insufferable in every way! It was obvious that she knew nothing about the game, but once in a while, she looked good.

  • Vasanth on April 28, 2010, 16:55 GMT

    "IMF Maximum, the Caramel Cream Catch and the Silly Moment of Success" - I bow down to your creative genius!

  • Eddie on April 28, 2010, 15:51 GMT

    Never saw 1 ball of this crap. Maybe Modi can have the jail cell next to Mr Stanford

  • PK on April 28, 2010, 14:14 GMT

    LOLOL - I must admit sheepishly I feel adrift too, I've never been a fan of IPL in the past but I find the days & evenings before T20WC stretching out before me like a vast arid desert. Mandira was CRINGE TV indeed, so very, very wrong!

  • Sisir on April 28, 2010, 12:56 GMT

    What do mandira know about cricket ??? At times her questions looked very awful ???

    There are more beautiful lady with brain who could have hosted some program for IPL ??? Who cares ... afterall IPL is a circus ??? where is the game of cricket and people right to see an over with out add ??

  • ben paige on April 28, 2010, 12:40 GMT

    I'm not sure about the merits of some of the other comments... simon hughes is one of the best cricket analysts about, I can't see how anyone could doubt his insight into the game.

    yet, i can't decide whether endorsing Bedi is the bigger crime. it was obvious that she was quite clueless as to what was happening. does she know anything about cricket? it also seemed that she had missed the action half the time. all i'm saying is that if you're going to be paid for your punditry you should at least learn the name of your favourite team.

  • atif on April 28, 2010, 12:36 GMT

    To be fair i DIID NOT miss her , Mandira Bedi , i think itv4 should have done more about this- Mandira Bedi was useless & top of that she could not make any decent commnets , her english was very very poor- it reminded me tv prog UK BORDER FORCE , where 2 or 3 staff from immagiration taking an interview of a student who is from INDIA & couldnt speak a word of english.

  • Kamal on April 28, 2010, 12:06 GMT

    I am in the US and first thing I was doing after getting up in the morning was to check the IPL scores in cricinfo. Now I do feel the emptiness and I dont have anything to do in the morning than to get ready and go to sick work early. Though it was loooong, IPL really rocked this time around.

  • Dylan DPC on April 28, 2010, 12:05 GMT

    IPL is something which goes both ways - When it is there - you think it's nothing amazing when it's going on but when it gets over so feel disappointed and wonder why the IPL wasn't there year-long. Also you wait anxiously for the next edition.

  • deepak on April 28, 2010, 11:58 GMT

    am also going to miss the way supposedly intelligent men constantly referred to an inflated baloon (an oblique reference to modi's ego perhaps?) as a blimp.

  • hpk on April 28, 2010, 11:17 GMT

    I just wonder if all this resentment of cricinfo and ESPN towards IPL wud have continued had ESPN won the broadcast rights. I think it is better off if Cricinfo continues to cover the otherwise highly interesting clashes between Somerset and Nottingamshire.

  • Sanjiv Singh on April 28, 2010, 11:10 GMT

    Must say, the show was a great package and met every expectation of all the cricket buffs barring the ads in the middle of the overs. The purists may scoff at the format( though that faternity is rapidly vanishing in number) and one may loosely make comments like the matches are fixed and brand the whole thing as a drama, one can't help but marvel at the whole package.

    It was rivetting to say the least, enjoyable and pulsating at the same time! And one does get pangs of emptiness when we realize that the next episode is an year away. It is only slightly lessened by the taut and terse world T-20 tourney following shortly. Even though it has been marred by unfortunate incidents off the field towards the end, no one is doubting the fact that IPL is here to stay and will rewrite the concept of "grand success" year after year.

  • faraday on April 28, 2010, 10:17 GMT

    Bedi was cringe tv! how many times did she have to refer to the "yellow team"?

  • Fazayal on April 28, 2010, 10:14 GMT

    Andrew, what about we being shown a footage of MRF blimp on big screen since the real blimp was punctured by some anti-ipl brigade. Wasnt that footage showing a forefront of technology!

  • Paul. A on April 28, 2010, 9:31 GMT

    I have stopped wawtching television after the IPL got over...now only switch it on for EPL or Champions league...waiting for the ICC WCT20 to commence

  • Mani on April 28, 2010, 8:25 GMT

    Seriously...no mention of the MRF blimp??

  • Raj on April 28, 2010, 8:23 GMT

    True!! IPL rocked!

  • Kumar on April 28, 2010, 8:21 GMT

    Thank you. You did not disappoint. Since CSK did win I am in a cheerful mood anyway and your musings are like cream on the cake! I agree with you about Mandira Bedi and her colourful outfits and enthusiastic support for CSK. I will miss that. Thank you ITV4. Though not so sure about Simon Hughes! Mostly I will miss reading your comments on IPL. Perhaps you may continue in the same vein with the World 20/20 games about to get under way. But, will it have the razz matazz, spidercam and intrigues of the IPL? Who will you poke fun at? I await with abated breath! Regards

  • Anonymous on April 28, 2010, 8:11 GMT

    mandira is hot..

  • ss on April 28, 2010, 7:57 GMT

    you are right....the ipl was addictive....for the last couple of days i have been aimlessly flipping the channels to get a glimpse of the MRF blimp so that i can swear at it. :)

  • hahah on April 28, 2010, 7:54 GMT

    lol!!loved the sponsor names!!caramel cream catch !!classic

  • s_shukla on April 28, 2010, 6:50 GMT

    Seriously......considering how bored I was getting towards the end of IPL, I didn't anticipate the emptiness I feel after its over...I now have to sit thru the prime time TV soaps my wife watches...IPL was definitely a better option..

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  • s_shukla on April 28, 2010, 6:50 GMT

    Seriously......considering how bored I was getting towards the end of IPL, I didn't anticipate the emptiness I feel after its over...I now have to sit thru the prime time TV soaps my wife watches...IPL was definitely a better option..

  • hahah on April 28, 2010, 7:54 GMT

    lol!!loved the sponsor names!!caramel cream catch !!classic

  • ss on April 28, 2010, 7:57 GMT

    you are right....the ipl was addictive....for the last couple of days i have been aimlessly flipping the channels to get a glimpse of the MRF blimp so that i can swear at it. :)

  • Anonymous on April 28, 2010, 8:11 GMT

    mandira is hot..

  • Kumar on April 28, 2010, 8:21 GMT

    Thank you. You did not disappoint. Since CSK did win I am in a cheerful mood anyway and your musings are like cream on the cake! I agree with you about Mandira Bedi and her colourful outfits and enthusiastic support for CSK. I will miss that. Thank you ITV4. Though not so sure about Simon Hughes! Mostly I will miss reading your comments on IPL. Perhaps you may continue in the same vein with the World 20/20 games about to get under way. But, will it have the razz matazz, spidercam and intrigues of the IPL? Who will you poke fun at? I await with abated breath! Regards

  • Raj on April 28, 2010, 8:23 GMT

    True!! IPL rocked!

  • Mani on April 28, 2010, 8:25 GMT

    Seriously...no mention of the MRF blimp??

  • Paul. A on April 28, 2010, 9:31 GMT

    I have stopped wawtching television after the IPL got over...now only switch it on for EPL or Champions league...waiting for the ICC WCT20 to commence

  • Fazayal on April 28, 2010, 10:14 GMT

    Andrew, what about we being shown a footage of MRF blimp on big screen since the real blimp was punctured by some anti-ipl brigade. Wasnt that footage showing a forefront of technology!

  • faraday on April 28, 2010, 10:17 GMT

    Bedi was cringe tv! how many times did she have to refer to the "yellow team"?