'How good are turtles!'
The bathos
Is it appropriate to refer to bathos within a subheading of a throwaway column about the most throwaway form of social media? Probably not, but South Africa's Colin Ingram made it happen with the following tweet on the morning of the semi-final against England.
Out for a duck in the first over of the match. #proteafire #dreams
Alviro Petersen had a good go too.
"#timeforSAtoshine #ourtime #huntingground"
@AlviroPetersen
Now it's your time to shine hunting for tickets to Cape Town.
The euphemism
Let's stick with the crowd-pleasing subheadings. Andre Adams is choosing his words carefully.
"I had a couple of "conversations" with Nass too. "Spirited" would be the most accurate description."
@AndreAdams
Nice choice. People usually go for "lively".
The grooming
Anyone who feels that the quality of the Australian cricket team is directly related to the volume of body hair it can boast might like to ponder this question from John Hastings.
"Anyone else getting a Brazilian in the morning?? #wax #getinthespirit"
@johnhastings194
Of course he's not serious. Is he?
The location
Pat Cummins has that sinking feeling.
"Nice over here in Belfast, Ireland. Don't know why the Titanic ever wanted to leave."
@93Cummins
The recovery
Graeme Smith's a busy man.
"17 more days in a cast and I'm counting every second....."
@GraemeSmith49
There are probably more productive ways of spending your time, Graeme. You also might find you're slightly less bored if you turn to more involving pastimes.
The excitement
Recent events indicate that David Warner is prone to getting overexcited from time to time. Does that come across on his Twitter account?
"I love mountains!!!"
@davidwarner31
Well, to be fair, mountains are good.
Yeah, trees are pretty good too.
Turtles are very good.
David Warner's Twitter updates exhibit entirely appropriate levels of excitement.
The film review
From Suresh Raina.
You can't beat a bit of intricate emoting.
Tino Best's modesty corner
"Just woke and remember I creamed the English bowling attack on this day last year hahahaa boommm #1195 #bobski#tinobest.......#GODisGOOD"
@tinobest
Life!!! with Kemar Roach
Kemar can express so much with so few words.
"London! #Sweetazz"
@KemarAJR
He's in London. He likes it.
He's back home.
His hair's longer than he'd like, so he's going to take action to resolve the situation.
But then he can also be very enigmatic.
This is ambiguous. Is he referring to literal or metaphorical hunger? We can only speculate.
This is really hard to interpret. A verb or adjective would be a great help, but Kemar's not giving us that. He doesn't want to make his words too easy to comprehend, lest we take his proclamations for granted. Perhaps it's nothing - a throwaway comment - but if that were the case, why would he go to the trouble of contravening his own well-established writing conventions? Three exclamation marks? That's entirely out of character. This must mean something. But what?
Life!!! with Kraigg Brathwaite
We got a great insight into the demands placed upon one of Roach's team-mates this week as well.
10th June:
"Massage needed"
@K_Brathwaite
11th June:
12th June:
13th June:
Tough times. Tough times.
Nando's Watch
There's not much left to say in this feature. Ross Taylor this week. Don't want to spoil it for you, but he's had a meal at Nando's.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket