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Tests of Character
Discover yourself by taking our quizzes
What sort of a commentator would you be?
Are your dulcet tones fit to be heard?
Your opening line of broadcast will be:
"Welcome to this game of glorious certainties"
"This one has classic written all over it"
"Hello, me lovelies"
How would you describe a huge six?
"I've seen bigger"
"Whoa, it's the maximum of DLF Maximums"
"That was a biggie"
"That sailed into the confectionery stall"
"Catches win matches" is:
Best used with: "If you fumble, you'll take a tumble"
Idiotic garbage spewed by the morons behind the mic
What's the commentator's role in cricket?
To bring excitement, fun and drama - that's apart from the cricket itself - into the viewer's living room
To give the viewer a better understanding of the game
To tell the viewer what he should think about the game
To explain to the viewer what's happening on his TV screen
While interviewing a captain at the toss, what would you ask?
Whether it's a good toss to win
Why he chose such a terrible XI and who made him captain
Is he getting the heebie jeebies? Or is he pumped up like the MRF blimp?
You wouldn't. You'd be getting your linen suit pressed
While interviewing spectators, what do you ask?
for these tickets?
To show the love. Following which you dance in the aisles with them
You wouldn't. Your place is in the box
Whether they are voting with their feet
What would you say when commiserating with the losing captain?
"Someone has to lose in a game of cricket"
You wouldn't. You're a commentator, not his mum
"Dude, what the f*** is wrong with you?"
"You must be gutted!"
How would you address your fellow commentators?
What would your pitch report consist of?
What it's done in the last 10 years, the soil composition, effects of global warming, what score can be made and how to go about making it
Putting an ear to the pitch, Native American-style, and relaying to the viewers what it tells you
Tapping the pitch, describing its colour, and informing the viewers that the batsmen have to score and bowlers have to take wickets in order to win
Pointing out the sort of surface the pitch has, whether the cracks will hold, if it will help pace or spin, etc
How do you dress for television?
I prefer tight t-shirts that show off my ripped body, but they make me wear suits usually
Tweeds with leather patches on the elbows
Doesn't matter, as long as you wear a smile as long as the Nile
Doesn't matter. After all, you know what you're talking about
When disagreeing with a colleague, you will:
Wait till he finishes and have your say
Dismiss them as morons, the bunch of them
Interrupt with: "At the end of the day..."
Rib him about the colour of his outfit and the size of his body
More in Page 2
'The most exhilarating day of Test cricket that I have witnessed'
Nineteen wickets on a see-saw day at Lord's was a brilliant advertisement for Test cricket
A Birmingham hat-trick
A damp squib of a contest, but a fantastic day for an Indian fan in Birmingham
Eden Gardens turns on the magic again
A pitch with bounce, plenty of runs, a capacity crowd and a last-over finish all made it a day to remember
'Why did I bother buying day 5 tickets?'
No day five contest at Newlands after Kagiso Rabada took a ten-for to wrap up the series win for South Africa
The chants of Virat-Virat are here to stay
A see-saw day at the Wankhede, including a Kohli century and a boisterous crowd made it a memorable occasion
Pakistan to host World XI series in September
Agar offers us a lot of flexibility - Lehmann
Rob Quiney retires from first-class cricket as Victoria revamp contract list
Australia's only warm-up game called off due to waterlogging
Jamaica Tallawahs replace Imad Wasim with Mahmudullah
How Bangladesh is finding and developing its talent
Mustafizur, Mosaddek, Mehidy, Nazmul - where did they all come from? By
It's time to rediscover Test-match batting
England's recklessness in the name of positivity is a sign that the art of batting in the longest format is no longer given due attention
Is it possible for a Pakistani to be a fan of Ian Botham?
The Cricket Monthly
Nottingham's the charm
On tour in the UK,
witnesses a fine comeback, visits the country's oldest pub, and squeezes in some yoga lessons
Trisha Chetty's legacy in the making
An inspiration in Mark Boucher got her to focus on her wicketkeeping. Today, she's a record-holder - and wants to go further
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