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Tests of Character
Discover yourself by taking our quizzes
What sort of a commentator would you be?
Are your dulcet tones fit to be heard?
Your opening line of broadcast will be:
"Welcome to this game of glorious certainties"
"This one has classic written all over it"
"Hello, me lovelies"
How would you describe a huge six?
"I've seen bigger"
"Whoa, it's the maximum of DLF Maximums"
"That was a biggie"
"That sailed into the confectionery stall"
"Catches win matches" is:
Best used with: "If you fumble, you'll take a tumble"
Idiotic garbage spewed by the morons behind the mic
What's the commentator's role in cricket?
To bring excitement, fun and drama - that's apart from the cricket itself - into the viewer's living room
To give the viewer a better understanding of the game
To tell the viewer what he should think about the game
To explain to the viewer what's happening on his TV screen
While interviewing a captain at the toss, what would you ask?
Whether it's a good toss to win
Why he chose such a terrible XI and who made him captain
Is he getting the heebie jeebies? Or is he pumped up like the MRF blimp?
You wouldn't. You'd be getting your linen suit pressed
While interviewing spectators, what do you ask?
for these tickets?
To show the love. Following which you dance in the aisles with them
You wouldn't. Your place is in the box
Whether they are voting with their feet
What would you say when commiserating with the losing captain?
"Someone has to lose in a game of cricket"
You wouldn't. You're a commentator, not his mum
"Dude, what the f*** is wrong with you?"
"You must be gutted!"
How would you address your fellow commentators?
What would your pitch report consist of?
What it's done in the last 10 years, the soil composition, effects of global warming, what score can be made and how to go about making it
Putting an ear to the pitch, Native American-style, and relaying to the viewers what it tells you
Tapping the pitch, describing its colour, and informing the viewers that the batsmen have to score and bowlers have to take wickets in order to win
Pointing out the sort of surface the pitch has, whether the cracks will hold, if it will help pace or spin, etc
How do you dress for television?
I prefer tight t-shirts that show off my ripped body, but they make me wear suits usually
Tweeds with leather patches on the elbows
Doesn't matter, as long as you wear a smile as long as the Nile
Doesn't matter. After all, you know what you're talking about
When disagreeing with a colleague, you will:
Wait till he finishes and have your say
Dismiss them as morons, the bunch of them
Interrupt with: "At the end of the day..."
Rib him about the colour of his outfit and the size of his body
More in Page 2
Eden Gardens turns on the magic again
A pitch with bounce, plenty of runs, a capacity crowd and a last-over finish all made it a day to remember
'Why did I bother buying day 5 tickets?'
No day five contest at Newlands after Kagiso Rabada took a ten-for to wrap up the series win for South Africa
The chants of Virat-Virat are here to stay
A see-saw day at the Wankhede, including a Kohli century and a boisterous crowd made it a memorable occasion
Smith and Guptill light up Sydney
Two memorable centuries, including the highest individual score at the ground, plenty of boundaries and a decent atmosphere at the SCG's first international of the home summer
The Dubai sauna gives a suffocating welcome
The heat and the one-sided encounter were downers but this Pakistan was happy that at least his team won
Cowdrey dynasty ends as Fabian calls time on career at 24
Simpson guides Middlesex to dramatic one-wicket win
Stanikzai leads way as Ireland feel the heat
ECB moves to implement T20 constitution change
BCCI office bearers not to heed CoA directives
Can Jadeja be knighted for real now?
Your questions answered: Are fake knighthoods better than real ones? Can India win away? Are Australia happy with what they got?
Chocolate excess, and sunny non-cricket days
A tour of New Zealand offers plenty of delights but not enough cricket. By
Where Virat Kohli played when he was young
Melinda Farrell visits the cricket academy in Delhi where the Indian captain honed his cricket skills as a youngster
Heartless bowlers, longest careers, and the most ODI ducks
Who failed to earn a national call-up despite hitting a first-class quadruple-century?
Farewell to the wild thing
To mark the end of Shaun Tait's 15-year career, a look back at one of his most memorable bowling performances
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