In place of the environment-friendly tip of the day, television viewers will be provided with the Lalit Modi Zen Koan of the day at the toss.
Apr 26, 2010
To commemorate the impact of Twitter on the 2010 tournament, a new restriction will be introduced: no one will be allowed to bowl over 140kph for the first 15 overs.
Apr 25, 2010
Sourav Ganguly and Jagmohan Dalmiya's franchise, the Barabati Boosters, will have as their USP a team anthem based on rabindra sangeet set to hip-hop.
Apr 24, 2010
With many IPL functionaries under investigation, TV presenters and players will be asked to fill in. Mandira Bedi will sit in the dugout as the actress stuck with a lousy team, and Yuvraj Singh will sit in the VIP box and look at two BlackBerries every 5.2 seconds.
Apr 23, 2010
Each match ticket will have a new surcharge tacked on, the proceeds of which will go towards the setting up of a Twitter mishap contingency fund for the IPL.
Apr 22, 2010
The IPL trophy will be fashioned out of a revolutionary blend of marmite and cellphone plastic - in tribute to two of the league's most influential figures, Shane Warne and Lalit Modi.
Apr 21, 2010
A band of attack dogs, specially trained to deal with pitch invasions by garden-variety canines, will turn rabid and attack the Royal Challengers dugout, mistaking the players for blood-soaked meat.
Apr 20, 2010
After the Dalai Lama refuses to be associated with the IPL, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon will take over as the tournament's religious figure of choice. There will be 16 mandatory shots of the moon during all night games to underline the association.
Apr 19, 2010
Roving bands of IPL inspectors will make visits to television viewers' homes and ask them trivia questions relating to the games in the previous year's tournament. Those failing to answer correctly will be sentenced to have dinner with Danny Morrison.
Apr 18, 2010
After two years of research and development, moths will unveil a new, hardy variant immune to all manner of insecticide and hold the IPL to ransom for a stake in the Kochi franchise.
Apr 17, 2010
All those viewing the IPL will be required by law to have a miniature replica of the MRF blimp tethered to their TVs at all times.
Apr 16, 2010
In a separate auction, conducted alongside the IPL player auctions, Hello magazine will bid successfully for the first pictures of Andrew Symonds without zinc cream on.
Apr 15, 2010
Someone will wake up and realise that Bill Lawry and Ian Smith, the epitomes of "enthusiastic" commentary, are, in fact, not on the IPL commentary team yet, and sack the official broadcaster for the offence.
Apr 14, 2010
A terror group kidnaps the IPL commentators and forces them to watch their own match coverage for 24 hours. Once released, all of them promise to behave better. Except Danny Morrison, who decides he's going to be more like Ravi Shastri.
Apr 13, 2010
Sivamani will finally be awarded the Energizer endorsement deal he has been angling for all these years.
Apr 12, 2010
After birds start nesting on the blimp, the IPL invests in stadium roofs that double up as big screens to flash advertisements. But the roofs are scrapped after a riot is triggered by a giant close-up of Sanjay Dutt's "Gamemaster" get-up.
Apr 11, 2010
Rejuvenated by finally finding a box that fits perfectly, Sachin Tendulkar will lead Mumbai to the title with 877 runs at a strike rate of an even 200.
Apr 10, 2010
Mike Haysman will mime his dew reports, with the crowd, by now familiar with every line, filling in the words.
Apr 9, 2010
Ravi Shastri will be feted for his one millionth use of the phrase "tracer bullet" with a 21-gun salute.
Apr 8, 2010
Authorities find a batch of Mongoose bats with hollowed handles containing devices that transmit subliminal pro-ICL messages to those who hold the bats. The IPL enlists the ICL's help to send sponsor messages via match tickets.