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What sort of cricketing speech would you give?

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend us your words

1. You are asked if you'd like to give the Spirit of Cricket lecture. You say:

2. What will be the topic of your speech?

3. Will there be any jokes in it?

4. Will you attack anyone in your speech?

5. Any motivational catchphrases to get the crowd going?

6. Your oratory idol?

7. What if someone heckles you?

8. Will you bring up the issue of technology?

9. Any tear-jerking moments in the speech?

10. How will you sign off?

	"It'll be the best speech of all time"
	"Let me ask all of you this: do you understand what spirit is? Raise your hands if you have the answer"
	"It would be a pleasure. The game is going through a tumultuous time and we who care for it must speak out"

	The importance of discipline and obedience
	A call for change: in our attitude to administration, technology, scheduling and fans
	How I feel alone and used and tortured and forced and misunderstood and misused

	Yes, that will get my audience warmed up for the important bits
	Yo, imma crack you up like tectonic plates
	Only clowns use jokes

	Can't. They don't let us cane 'em anymore
	Attacking doesn't solve problems. We must work together for a brighter future
	Blonde teens with little talent

	"We live this shit! We embody this shit! We would die for this shit so you can live for this shit!"
	"Detention for slouchers"
	"Joga Bonito"

	Imran Khan
	Tyler, the Creator
	Anyone other than Gussie Fink-Nottle

	Expelled!
	That's all right. The truth isn't palatable to everyone
	All true artists have their haterz

	Yes, it's ridiculous to have it in some series and not in others
	Yeah, the pirates must be destroyed
	No cellphones allowed! I will confiscate any if I see them

	Well, I wasn't going to say anything now, but the winter break may be getting shorter
	Will have y'all weeping like country singers when singin' bout goin' home
	When you love the game so much, it's natural to get emotional

	By instructing the audience not to run in the corridors
	With a video clip from Fire in Babylon
	By saying: "Stay positive, my homies"