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Tests of Character
Discover yourself by taking our quizzes
Where would you bat in a Test line-up?
The 2000th Test is coming up. We're doing our bit
What is the purpose of batting?
To hit the ball
To show my team-mates how it's really done
Do I have to bat?
To take my average sky-high
To build a platform
To you, the bowler is:
Someone you don't mess with
The guy you have to frustrate
A good chap, but he doesn't worry me
One who bowls balls
The guy who bowls in your good areas
How do you treat a new ball?
I wouldn't have to if some clowns knew how to do their jobs
The same way I treat the old ball
Watch it out of the bowler's hand, read the line and length and give it a good thwack
With caution, because it tends to swing and move off the seam
When you play a stroke:
Your team-mates seem oddly surprised
You don't. You dead-bat it
It stays hit
You drive gloriously through the covers and elicit oohs and aahs from the crowd
You close your eyes first
What do you do if the bowler keeps bowling outside the off stump?
Upper-cut him for six over third man
Don't go fishing?
Get inside the line and flick it to midwicket
Watch it into the keeper's glove
Bowl outside off stump to ME? I'll sledge the ^%#&$*
What would you have done if you had encountered Bodyline bowling?
Hooked it, obviously
Taken it on the chest like my bros Fingo and Woodfull
No matter what line it is. Just see and hit
Okay, shut up, that's not funny
It's an un-Australian question. I won't answer it
Your favourite shot?
The elaborate leave
A six over the bowler's head and a five-second-freeze in the follow-through (to oblige the photographers)
The one that gets me a single
I'd like to say the cover-drive, but really, I have so many
Anything that gets runs
How do you react when you get out to a bad decision?
"No matter. Next time I'll make a triple"
"You win some, you lose some"
"*&^!!## It's a conspiracy. They're always out to get me. No wonder my average suffers"
"Don't think I'm not reporting you for this"
Scurry back to the pavilion, in case the umpire changes his mind
How do you spend the time before you go out to bat?
Eating a lot of candy. That takes the edge off
Telling your team-mates what went wrong with their innings
Joking and chatting with your team-mates
Listening to soothing music
Watching some of your classic innings
What does "being in the zone" mean to you?
You haven't actually been in one yet but you're sure if the umpires don't mess up, you'll get there
Where you should be - down the non-striker's end
Seeing the ball as big as a football
When the bowler realises it's futile to try and dismiss you, and just bowls where you want him to
Who is your batting hero?
The guy who hogs the strike
Sets up the team score really well
Is what I count up to between overs to keep calm
Is good before lunch. And 250 by stumps
Is just round the corner for me
Is a way to get closer to that rat of a Sachin
If your partner runs you out, you will:
Bang your bat on the ground and let him know what an idiot he is
Say "*&^!!## It's a conspiracy. They're always out to get me. No wonder my average suffers."
Shake your head and walk away
Shake his hand and walk away
Laugh. Shit happens, no?
More in Page 2
The James Anderson style of excuse
The Long Handle:
No swearing, no wickets, says the fast bowler
After the party, the nap
The Long Handle:
Exhausted by the World Cup? Worry not, we have just the competition for you
The big losers at this World Cup
The Long Handle:
Step forward Mustafa Kamal and Anuskha Sharma
and cheering for New Zealand
High-octane dancing and banter in the stands almost made up for a one-sided contest on the field during the World Cup final at the MCG
Clarke's final flourish, and an on-song DJ
Australia dominated a one-sided final, but Michael Clarke's batting and an electrifying stadium atmosphere made it a memorable day
Sangakkara hopes for Pietersen England return
Pressure on Cook to end rough run
PCB in talks to host Zimbabwe - Shahryar Khan
Northeast knock leaves match in balance
Davies' double hundred quietens the wicketkeeping debate
Follow in the bare steps of Kenya's ace runners
Athletes from one tribe show how the interventions of modern sports science can be counterproductive if relied upon too soon
A vote for Punter
TCM April issue
Once upon a Caribbean cricket holiday
Twenty years ago, 16 British university students discovered the joys of watching and playing cricket in the West Indies
Three questions for cricket
Do fast bowlers need verbal fisticuffs to generate aggression? Is surpassing 100 mph even possible?
Timeless tales and the Big Three political thriller
Wisden India Almanack 2015
hits the spot with its feature writing, but the reporting of the major events is a mixed bag
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