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Tests of Character
Discover yourself by taking our quizzes
Where would you bat in a Test line-up?
The 2000th Test is coming up. We're doing our bit
What is the purpose of batting?
To hit the ball
To show my team-mates how it's really done
Do I have to bat?
To take my average sky-high
To build a platform
To you, the bowler is:
Someone you don't mess with
The guy you have to frustrate
A good chap, but he doesn't worry me
One who bowls balls
The guy who bowls in your good areas
How do you treat a new ball?
I wouldn't have to if some clowns knew how to do their jobs
The same way I treat the old ball
Watch it out of the bowler's hand, read the line and length and give it a good thwack
With caution, because it tends to swing and move off the seam
When you play a stroke:
Your team-mates seem oddly surprised
You don't. You dead-bat it
It stays hit
You drive gloriously through the covers and elicit oohs and aahs from the crowd
You close your eyes first
What do you do if the bowler keeps bowling outside the off stump?
Upper-cut him for six over third man
Don't go fishing?
Get inside the line and flick it to midwicket
Watch it into the keeper's glove
Bowl outside off stump to ME? I'll sledge the ^%#&$*
What would you have done if you had encountered Bodyline bowling?
Hooked it, obviously
Taken it on the chest like my bros Fingo and Woodfull
No matter what line it is. Just see and hit
Okay, shut up, that's not funny
It's an un-Australian question. I won't answer it
Your favourite shot?
The elaborate leave
A six over the bowler's head and a five-second-freeze in the follow-through (to oblige the photographers)
The one that gets me a single
I'd like to say the cover-drive, but really, I have so many
Anything that gets runs
How do you react when you get out to a bad decision?
"No matter. Next time I'll make a triple"
"You win some, you lose some"
"*&^!!## It's a conspiracy. They're always out to get me. No wonder my average suffers"
"Don't think I'm not reporting you for this"
Scurry back to the pavilion, in case the umpire changes his mind
How do you spend the time before you go out to bat?
Eating a lot of candy. That takes the edge off
Telling your team-mates what went wrong with their innings
Joking and chatting with your team-mates
Listening to soothing music
Watching some of your classic innings
What does "being in the zone" mean to you?
You haven't actually been in one yet but you're sure if the umpires don't mess up, you'll get there
Where you should be - down the non-striker's end
Seeing the ball as big as a football
When the bowler realises it's futile to try and dismiss you, and just bowls where you want him to
Who is your batting hero?
The guy who hogs the strike
Sets up the team score really well
Is what I count up to between overs to keep calm
Is good before lunch. And 250 by stumps
Is just round the corner for me
Is a way to get closer to that rat of a Sachin
If your partner runs you out, you will:
Bang your bat on the ground and let him know what an idiot he is
Say "*&^!!## It's a conspiracy. They're always out to get me. No wonder my average suffers."
Shake your head and walk away
Shake his hand and walk away
Laugh. Shit happens, no?
More in Page 2
A triumphant Lord's return
Pakistan thrilled one and all in their first Test at Lord's since 2010, giving their fans the experience of a lifetime
A match that transcended the ordinary
A fan hears "the sound that will live on in my memory for the rest of my life" during the India-Bangladesh game
An 800-km train journey to watch two special wins
A long journey, queues and ticketing troubles could not take away from the great show that Afghanistan and Scotland put on in Nagpur
PSL's final rumble among dhols and Africa djembes
The quality of cricket was high, the noise levels in the ground were high. The only downer was the struggle to get into the stadium
Emoji masks, and alien dance moves
A packed house and a nail-biting finish, perfect for the T20 format, made it an exciting day at Newlands
Misbah stands alone as Pakistan crumble
Gidman joins Kent on a Notts loan deal
Warner stresses patient approach
Russell's lawyer disputes anti-doping charge
'Plan was to bowl as many maiden overs as possible' - Umesh Yadav
Australia's happy hunting ground
Why do Australia, so often poor in Asia, never seem to lose in Sri Lanka?
offers four possible reasons
Why close-catching standards have dropped
Technique and anticipation are important for close-in fielding. Many of today's fielders lack both
A keen eye, a beating heart
The Meaning of Cricket
is a collection of Jon Hotten's writing that is lively with insight and anecdote. By
Gone too soon
The Cricket Monthly July issue
'As a leader, you need to understand the characters in the team'
Mahela Jayawardene talks about captaincy, and Arjuna Ranatunga's influence on Sri Lankan cricket
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