The Heavy Ball

This, that and the other. Mostly the other

Life as a former slinger (still a curly blond)

There's all this free time to spend, but only if the Sri Lankan team stops making all those SOS calls

Damith Samarakoon

Comments: 12 | Text size: A | A
Lasith Malinga strikes a reflective pose, Colombo, May 26, 2009
Lasith's expression said it all when a salesman for a brand of slow-acting curl-enhancing gel came up to pitch his wares © AFP
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August 20
Loving all the free time. Did absolutely nothing today! Lounged in bed in the morning and watched Ellen. Wonder if she's a natural blonde.

Think the guys had a game on today. Might call Kule to see how it went.

Signed up for some baking classes. Imagine if the physio knew!

Ordered some curl-defining hair gel they were showing on a late-night infomercial - five bottles for 30 bucks. Bargain!

August 24
Nice, relaxing day. Dropped the missus off at work, although getting up early was a struggle. Then headed to the salon for my hair appointment. Ajantha called and said he was free for lunch, so decided to meet him and do some shopping. Poor guy, I think he feels a bit lonely since Murali left. Bought some Hawaiian-style shirts that matched my tips. Haven't showed the wife yet, though. He he.

August 27
Got an email about a work-from-home deal. The website said you can make up to $150 an hour for spending just a couple of hours online! I didn't need a second invitation to sign up with my credit card details. iPad 2, here I come! The missus thinks I have a gambling problem because she caught me playing on online slot machines at three in the morning. Must remember to keep Cricket Captain running in the background next time. Note to self: never borrow PC games from Sanga again.

August 31
Had my first baking class today. Probably the last too. So boring. Had to wait around an hour to get the oven pre-heated. Then had to listen to the instructor go on about free-range eggs and the importance of doing the "right thing". I mean, seriously, who has the time?

Should call Ajantha and get the number for the cocktail class he told me about. He said classes are only 30-45 minutes and he really enjoyed mixing everything up. We could probably go together since he's free these days.

September 10
Woke up late today and saw I had 24 missed calls. All from Aravinda and Dilshan. Gave Ajantha a call to see what it might be about, because talking to these guys is such a drag these days. Apparently it's about getting me back in the Test side. What a surprise. They can't take no for an answer.

The missus keeps pestering me about going to the Lord of Rings back-to-back screenings at the cinema. She said it's some extended edition and that we had to see it. Checked on the net and found out the bloody thing runs for nearly nine hours. I told her, no thank you and got her some vouchers to go see it with her friends.

September 13
What a day. First mom called and gave me a lecture about finding a full-time job like my other friends. Went on and on about how get-rich schemes never work and how a real man wouldn't let his wife go to work and sit at home all day. I promised her I'd call Dilshan just to get her to hang up.

Then the missus called from Kandy and said her car broke down so I should come pick her up. I said, "That's at least a three-hour drive - one way." So she got all emotional about not going to see LOTR with her, how we never travel outside of Colombo anymore, and that we only vacation in India. Anyway, called Tony Grieg to get the number of that air taxi he's been using because there was no way I was going to drive forever to get to Kandy.

The strangest thing happened in the afternoon. I was out defending my status as neighbourhood dodge-ball champion when I noticed a car pull up to my street. Even from a distance I could tell it was a rotund, silver-haired man at the wheel. The car slowly approached my front yard and the shutters went down. I hit the deck when I saw something fly out of the window. The car sped off, and on the curb I found an envelope with dozens of hairdresser vouchers and a note that said "Do the right thing and there'll be more where that came from". Weird.

Damith Samarakoon is a Sri Lankan cricket fanatic living in Sydney. He blogs regularly at www.theflyslip.net

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Comments: 12 
Posted by randikaayya on (September 20, 2011, 4:58 GMT)

Nice one Damith!! mare maru :) The last one about Arjuna and the right hair-do was the best! Looking forward to more from you!

Posted by   on (September 20, 2011, 0:15 GMT)

This is really humorous. Especially the hairdresser vouchers part was a rip snorter :). Keep up the good job.

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 20:06 GMT)

one word Nice!!! Rest are Fillers

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 17:58 GMT)

I had a good laugh, well written.

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 16:38 GMT)

Couldn't ask for a better one :) ela ela

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 14:31 GMT)

You could had mentioned about scheduling lot of his commercials?

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 13:48 GMT)

elakiri machan! xD HAHA we need more jokes about the sri lankan team from u!

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 12:55 GMT)

good humorous article.page 2 section is something innovative from cricinfo!

Posted by   on (September 19, 2011, 12:50 GMT)

Loved the joke about Ajantha mixing it up..

Posted by neutral_boy on (September 19, 2011, 10:17 GMT)

hahaha.... best sentence is "Ordered some curl-defining hair gel they were showing on a late-night infomercial - five bottles for 30 bucks. Bargain!"

We need more .... ROFL

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