Those who have slammed Cricket Australia for allowing WAGs – that sorry acronym to describe wives and girlfriends, which can’t help but sound derogatory and infantile – should watch out

Will Luke

25-Feb-2013

Those who have slammed Cricket Australia for allowing WAGs – that sorry acronym to describe wives and girlfriends, which can’t help but sound derogatory and infantile – should watch out. Jessica Bratich, Mitchell Johnson’s other half, has come out fighting in their defence, and she’s no walkover. She is in fact a black-belt in karate.

"The boys are away four and a half months," she retorted to the former players and critics who have attacked CA. "Mitch goes from there straight to South Africa so they're actually away for six months. I think it's a bit ridiculous to think we're not going to go over there and support them."

One of the critics is Michael Slater, though his comments are slightly devalued given that he divorced his wife during the 2001 Ashes tour. He also drop-kicked Cricket Australia for allowing wives and girlfriends during the pre-Ashes camp at Coolum.

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England win the Blogger's Ashes

Andrew Miller

25-Feb-2013

For those who seek omens at this stage of the build-up to an Ashes campaign, a fairly sizeable one was on display at Barnes Cricket Club last week, when England beat Australia by 28 runs … in the inaugural Blogger’s Ashes. The match was a 30-over-a-side affair, arranged by the men behind the Village Cricketer and Cricket with Balls blogs. England batted first and made 202 for 8, with Ed Craig, deputy editor of the Wisden Cricketer, top-scoring with 34 and scoring a direct hit on a lady sunbathing in a nearby garden. Australia, in reply, were rolled over for 174, with Patrick Kidd of The Times taking 3 for 25. The event raised more than £1000 for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign.

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The un-Australian prime minister

John Howard must be spitting out his tea in disgust at the comments of his successor as Australia’s prime minister, Kevin Rudd

Brydon Coverdale

25-Feb-2013

John Howard must be spitting out his tea in disgust at the comments of his successor as Australia’s prime minister, Kevin Rudd. Howard is the ultimate cricket tragic and his green-and-gold tracksuit will no doubt be his outfit of choice during the upcoming Ashes series.

While Rudd is also a cricket fan, he this week teetered dangerously on the edge of being labelled un-Australian – one of Howard’s favourite terms – when asked in a radio interview who was his favourite athlete. Rudd surely would say Don Bradman … surely. Or at least an Australian icon from another sport.

But this was Rudd’s response: “I can't go past Garry Sobers. There you go." Rudd cited Sobers’ unbeaten 254 for the Rest of the World at the MCG and his six sixes in an over of county cricket. “I thought, this guy has got the gift, the gift of the gods about him," Rudd said. "So there you go, he's not an Australian. Garry Sobers."

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Britain all set for the Ashes

Will Luke

25-Feb-2013

While the thousands of Australians living in Britain scoff and laugh at the "heatwave" sweeping the nation, it gives cricket fans a good chance to expose themselves to dangerous levels of sun while catching a taste of the Ashes on the big screen. The ECB's hugely popular Cricket in the Park events will be available across the country throughout the Ashes, ensuring that the country will once again be gripped by the Ashes wherever you might be.

The venues are as follows:

Southampton, Hoglands Park - Fri 10 and Sat 11 July (during Cardiff Test)
Liverpool, Sefton Park - Sat 18 and Sun 19 July (Lord's Test)
Cambridge, Parkers Piece - Sat 1 and Sun 2 Aug (Edgbaston Test)
Derby, Markeaton Park - Sat 8 and Sun 9 Aug (Headingley Test)
London, Regent's Park - Sat 22 and Sun 23 Aug (Brit Oval Test)

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Ponting the mellow 'England' skipper

Things are a bit confusing in Worcester this week, with Australians sitting on both sides of the fence, and even Ricky Ponting forgot his allegiance

Peter English

25-Feb-2013

Things are a bit confusing in Worcester this week, with Australians sitting on both sides of the fence, and even Ricky Ponting forgot his allegiance. With two of his former coaches, John Buchanan and Dene Hills, in the ground working with the England Lions ahead of Wednesday’s tour game, Ponting referred to himself as “captain of England”.

The correction came instantly – “er, captain of Australia” – but it was a revealing slip to a question over whether his outlook had mellowed since 2005. “Not as a competitor, not as a cricketer,” he said. “I hope I am as competitive as I’ve ever been on a cricket field. Things away from the field are pretty good, although I have been away for five weeks from the little one [his baby daughter Emmy].”

Buchanan, who guided Australia for seven years, spoke to the Lions and England Under-16 squads and felt comfortable working across the oval from his old team. Hills, a former assistant to Buchanan and state team-mate of Ponting, is part of the local coaching staff. The game no longer contains state secrets.

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Mark Webber lends Ponting his ear

Australian sportsmen are a friendly bunch – with eachother, if not always their opponents

Will Luke

25-Feb-2013

Australian sportsmen are a friendly bunch – with eachother, if not always their opponents. Mark Webber, the Australian Formula 1 driver, was spotted at Wimbledon last week with his fellow countryman Lleyton Hewitt, who seems to have developed a new lease for life, demonstrating his characteristic whippet-like scampering across the baseline and raucous “come on!” calls to his fans.

It goes without saying who Hewitt thinks will win the Ashes – “you got lucky in 05” was his relievingly-predictable jibe last week – and in the meantime, Webber was today spotted chatting to Ricky Ponting at a training session, ahead of their match against England Lions in Worcester on Wednesday. Australia may not have a spinner worth his salt, but as anyone who lives in London will confirm, they are not lacking support.

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Hair company boss sets council Ashes wager

Will Luke

25-Feb-2013

He may not be playing for Australia any longer, but the shadow Shane Warne casts still looms large – as, indeed, does his face.

A six-foot high poster of Warne appeared on a bricked-up window of Advanced Hair Studios, the company to whom Warne is their now-hirsute ambassador. With depressing predictability, Camden Council have told them to take it down, but they hadn’t banked on the chairman of the company being an Australian, and a feverish cricket fan to boot.

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Ashes poetry on Twitter

Neil Fannon and Thomas Walsh, the creators of the concept album Duckworth and Lewis Method , be warned: they have competition in the little-tapped-into cricket music industry this summer

Nishi Narayanan

25-Feb-2013

Neil Fannon and Thomas Walsh, the creators of the concept album Duckworth and Lewis Method, be warned: they have competition in the little-tapped-into cricket music industry this summer. Npower, the sponsors of England cricket, have employed David Fine to compose poems during the upcoming Ashes series. Fine also did poetry and sketches during the previous series but this time they will be on Twitter.

Fine said writing on Twitter, with its 150-character limit, was like writing a haiku. On his blog ashespoetry, Fine said the first poem of the series will be titled Cellophane. Here's an extract from his poem on Stuart Clark from the 2006-07 series.

Not that you’d notice him for seeing, the sort of bloke in the office who always comes to work on time to a tidy desk all parts done efficiently yesterday. Pays the drinks kitty and sweepstake promptly and tells the sharpest stories about the bosses secretly (not that you notice him for seeing.)

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It's all El Nino's fault

The Ashes is but 12 banter-filled days away, and English fans already have the perfect excuse prepared if the unthinkable should happen and England fail to regain the Ashes

Will Luke

25-Feb-2013

The Ashes is but 12 banter-filled days away, and English fans already have the perfect excuse prepared if the unthinkable should happen and England fail to regain the Ashes. It's all due to El Nino.

It's quite a relief. Before 2005, a generation of fans had only the flimsiest of reasons to lay bare at England's calamitous displays against Australia. Their inability to play spin; a weakness against the short ball; county cricket protecting too many average losers; the fact they can't catch, can't handle the pressure, the heat, the rain, or simply can't play the game very well. Now, triumphantly, scientists have the answer.

According to a study published today in Weather, the El Nino Southern Oscillation phenomenon has two phases which have had dramatically influenced Ashes results. During “El Nino years”, Australia won 13 out of 17 series (76%) but only 5 out of 13 in “La Nina years”. Remarkably, England have won just one series in the last 100 years following an El Nino event – the Bodyline series of 1932/33.

"This study shows it may be possible to tell by next winter whether England has a better chance of success in the following Ashes series than previous tours," said the study's author, Manoj Joshi, from the Walker Institute at The University of Reading.

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Kids teach Gayle new dance move

Kanishkaa Balachandran

25-Feb-2013

It’s no secret that West Indies captain Chris Gayle is one of the best dancers in his team. Come the four-match series against India, it would be worth keeping an eye on him because he has promised a new dance move. Gayle made a surprise visit on Wednesday to his old school - Excelsior High - where a bunch of enthusiastic boys demonstrated the new move to him on stage. One of them, Ronaldo Fletcher, asked Gayle to show it to the rest of the world when he takes a wicket against the visiting Indians. Gayle, who earlier presented a full sized autographed bat signed by the entire West Indies cricket team to the school principal, agreed. Here's looking forward to a Gayle wicket and... shall we call it the Excelsior dance.

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