short ball, Woakes tries to ramp, but can only feather through to the keeper! Job done, England have been rumbled and Australia have reclaimed the Ashes! They're into a huddle, jumping up and down as the WACA screen broadcasts the news, for the last time in contests such as these, that Australia have won and recaptured the urn!
4.05pm: Was it ever in doubt? Well, perhaps for a couple of days in Brisbane... and for a while this morning. But not even some English weather could bail out England in the WACA's farewell Ashes Test; that's eight defeats in a row here, and that too having been 4 for 368 in their first innings. It's also the third time in little over a year that England have scored 400 only to be beaten by an innings. Smith was MoM for his magnificent 239 but Josh Hazlewood was the wrecking ball on the final day, blowing through England's resistance with the gusto of last night's storm. You can read all about it in Brydon's report, and there'll be plenty more reaction and comment on the site later, from George, Dan and Mel at the ground (in fact, there might still be time to get your #PoliteEnquiries in). To cap a sweet day for Australia, they are now 33-32 ahead in Ashes series. For England, the autopsies are only just beginning... Thanks for sticking around through an oddly squishy finale. Gnasher and Miller will be back to pull the crackers at the MCG. From myself, Al, Varun and Deiva, it's cheerio for now. The kangaroo is safe in his den, for another four years at least. Bye!
3.50pm: Done and dusted. The WACA bears witness to Australia wrapping things up at the earliest possible opportunity, just as in 2013-14. Never mind the weather earlier, the sun is shining now...
No sooner is Steven Smith out of the victory huddle, he has a microphone under his nose: "Captaining an Ashes winning side is an amazing feeling. It's a moment we've been looking forward to, so much has gone into the preparation, the way we've gone about it was spectacular, 400 is a pretty good total but we come out and got a massive score and only had to bat once. The bowlers have done a massive job, Nathan Lyon has been exceptional. So many emotions coming out, the boys are going to celebrate hard tonight. Josh Hazlewood was exceptional, he hit really good areas and got Bairstow early. To win an amazing Ashes series, to be 3-0 up and get that urn back, I'm really proud."
Joe Root is understandably more downbeat: "Very difficult to take but fair play to Australia, they've outplayed us in all three game and we've got to be better. [Pitch?] It wasn't fit to play this morning, it obviously dried up and I think by the end there it was probably fit to play. [Only 400 first inns] Yeah, that's not ideal, but the [Malan-Bairstow] partnership and the way those two played was outstanding, they should be really proud. From the position of 100-4, that's not good enough. We've got to learn from it and get better but there's good thing to come from this week. Those guys putting in big performances under pressure was outstanding, the way Vincey played in the second innings was proper batting, it took that delivery to get him out. We've got to make sure we got to Melbourne, prepare well and put in good performance there."
And Smith is then interviewed again as the Man of the Match: "Nice to get recognition. I'm really proud to score my highest score and put on that performance with Mitch Marsh. Really set the game up for us, to get us in the lead. I'm just so proud of the boys, the way we've been able to wrap things up here in Perth and get that urn back. The boys have done a terrific job to get us the 20 wickets in each game, we haven't won a toss and probably had the toughest of the conditions. [Worried about weather?] It was horrible last night, I've never seen weather like that here in Perth. We knew if it cleared, and we had enough time, we'd be in for a show. Credit to the selectors, they made some bold moves but everyone who's come in has done a great job. [MCG next?] Absolutely, we're going to celebrate this one first. The Boxing Day Test match is an amazing occasion, hopefully we can get ourselves 4-0 and maybe 5-0 in Sydney. Everyone has been fantastic to get us the result we deserve."
Short leg moves to point, fine leg comes in
short of a length outside off and Woakes angles the bat and guides to backward point
"JUST 1 more session to go. What are the chances of Anderson and Woakes grinding it out?" About the same as Santa popping down your chimney to join you for Christmas dinner, Balashankar
hits a length, shoots through low but Woakes it equal to it
jumps into line and defends into the covers
full, comes across and flicks to leg, in the air but it's wide of mid-on and lands safely, they won't run there
Cummins continues, 7-8 minutes until tea
"Cleverly done by Woakes. Wonder if the Australians will fall into the trap of just trying to get Anderson back on strike, rather than trying to dismiss Woakes," wonders Craig. Not much of a trap, is it?
Anderson survives, as do England... but for how much longer?
searing yorker to finish, 142kph but the line is outside off and he bunts it away
banged in from over the wicket, doesn't get up that much and he defends
Two balls for Starc to Anderson... Short leg, leg slip in place
short at the body, Woakes hops and rides it with a flick through square, they take the one on offer
angled in with the arm and tucked to the leg side
fullish, straight line and met with a solid punch, mid-on is a little deep but he doesn't bother trying to run
round the wicket, full and looking to blast out the stumps, Woakes just manages to chop down on it
Mitchell Starc now, the tail-end demolition expert
bangs in the bouncer, Woakes ducks... and sets off on a run! Paine collects and has an underarm shy at the stumps, but misses! Smartly done, in the end, and Woakes will keep the strike
"Clearly something wrong with Anderson after that crack on the head," chuckles James. "He was smiling. "
another bumper, he crouches underneath
oh, so close! Just past the outside edge as Woakes stays back, bowled across him from round the wicket and a whisker away
dug in again, Woakes sways underneath
short outside off and he jumps back, pokes it away through point, they'll get one there - Anderson up to the safe end
Anderson pops a pill, puts on his helmet and gets ready
for a broken effing arm to face Cummins. Apparently they've extended the session again, so the sanctuary of tea is 15 minutes away
"Now what Ian Chappell shall have views about English team to tour Australia in future, as he said in the past that Pakistan team should not be called to tour Australia..." Ha, indeed, Khalid Mehmood. One of my colleagues, who shall remain unnamed, is looking forward to pointing this out. Although England haven't actually been whitewashed yet. At least not on the pitch
bouncer to finish, Woakes hooks blindly and top-edges over the man who's just come in... swirls away and trundles off for four. But it keeps Anderson on strike
Fine leg comes up, they're trying to prevent one
Woakes gets across and defends
over the stumps, 134kph and Woakes gets in behind it