Who calls the shots in English cricket?
The top ten most influential people in English cricket? We've got a list
David Hopps
14-Sep-2016
Motivational messages posted at the ECB HQ cafeteria also double up as the board's vision document for Twenty20 • Getty Images
As English cricket votes in principle for a city-based T20 competition, and the ECB lifts its controversial non-disclosure agreement on the counties, we look at the movers and shakers in the game.
1. Brett Gander, Australian fitness coach
Gander has become one of the most trusted advisors to the ECB hierarchy after the rise of the Big Bash. "Mate, jeez mate, you should take a gander at the Big Bash, mate. The crowds, mate, families, mate, and the weather, jeez, the weather. Cities are where it's at mate, not this Outback Cricket." Gander's analysis is central to the ECB's belief that change in England's T20 tournament is now essential.
Gander has become one of the most trusted advisors to the ECB hierarchy after the rise of the Big Bash. "Mate, jeez mate, you should take a gander at the Big Bash, mate. The crowds, mate, families, mate, and the weather, jeez, the weather. Cities are where it's at mate, not this Outback Cricket." Gander's analysis is central to the ECB's belief that change in England's T20 tournament is now essential.
2. Jim Johnson, Chairman of Littleshire CC
Johnson has been chairman of Littleshire, the smallest of the counties, for 35 years and has never really understood why he gets a vote on the issues that matter, especially at this time of year when he has little time to study the issues in detail as there is so much to do in the garden. How he votes is often immaterial, but the trip to London is always something to treasure and he particularly likes it when he is patted on the shoulder by someone over the canapés and told: "Well done, Jack, you have served cricket well once again."
Johnson has been chairman of Littleshire, the smallest of the counties, for 35 years and has never really understood why he gets a vote on the issues that matter, especially at this time of year when he has little time to study the issues in detail as there is so much to do in the garden. How he votes is often immaterial, but the trip to London is always something to treasure and he particularly likes it when he is patted on the shoulder by someone over the canapés and told: "Well done, Jack, you have served cricket well once again."
3. Vaibhav Dey, Indian investor
Dey is a rich and charismatic Indian businessman, still only 23, who has turned his attentions to cricket after being turned away from several English football clubs. Dey sees potential in English T20 as long as all matches start at noon, to attract an Indian TV audience, a proposal that the higher echelons of the ECB only dare discuss after a considerable intake of legal stimulants. Dey has already bought 20% of Northamptonshire in exchange for a season ticket with Royal Challengers Bangalore, and has become prominent because of his bestselling book The Name Game, in which he advocates that people should constantly change their name in order to be at one with their feelings. So Vaibhav, meaning "one who looks after the universe", has been known to meet the ECB as Neerav (meaning "silent") whenever he is unhappy with the pace of negotiations and Divit (immortal) when emphasising that he intends to be around for a very long time.
Dey is a rich and charismatic Indian businessman, still only 23, who has turned his attentions to cricket after being turned away from several English football clubs. Dey sees potential in English T20 as long as all matches start at noon, to attract an Indian TV audience, a proposal that the higher echelons of the ECB only dare discuss after a considerable intake of legal stimulants. Dey has already bought 20% of Northamptonshire in exchange for a season ticket with Royal Challengers Bangalore, and has become prominent because of his bestselling book The Name Game, in which he advocates that people should constantly change their name in order to be at one with their feelings. So Vaibhav, meaning "one who looks after the universe", has been known to meet the ECB as Neerav (meaning "silent") whenever he is unhappy with the pace of negotiations and Divit (immortal) when emphasising that he intends to be around for a very long time.
4. Ronnie de Vere, manager at the Golden Fleece
As one of St John's Wood's most strategically placed watering holes, the oak-panelled back bar of the Golden Fleece, with its hidden tables and low lighting, has long been a favourite of ECB administrators who have long valued Ronnie's understanding that all conversation will remain entre nous. Naturally, like all such confidentialities, Ronnie regards it as appropriate to use his knowledge wisely, investing it in his favourite online bookmakers, which has led to a steady stream of Caribbean holidays over the years to escape North London winters. Occasional jaunts on administrator's yachts add to the pleasure.
As one of St John's Wood's most strategically placed watering holes, the oak-panelled back bar of the Golden Fleece, with its hidden tables and low lighting, has long been a favourite of ECB administrators who have long valued Ronnie's understanding that all conversation will remain entre nous. Naturally, like all such confidentialities, Ronnie regards it as appropriate to use his knowledge wisely, investing it in his favourite online bookmakers, which has led to a steady stream of Caribbean holidays over the years to escape North London winters. Occasional jaunts on administrator's yachts add to the pleasure.
5. Naomi, aged 7 ¼
Naomi, aged 7 ¼, would be surprised to learn that she has had a huge influence on the ECB's plans for T20, but the day her grandad took her to the swings continues to have a decisive influence over the ECB's plans. Not only did she say: "What's a shire, Grandad?" as she was regaled with details of a last-day run chase between Derbyshire and Leicestershire, but during the long-winded explanation that followed she burst into tears and fell off the swing, grazing her knee. Many a time the administrator concerned has stood up at a function and said: "I'll tell you something now", before repeating this sorrowful tale, ending with the line: "It'll take more than a sticking plaster to mend the problems with English cricket."
Naomi, aged 7 ¼, would be surprised to learn that she has had a huge influence on the ECB's plans for T20, but the day her grandad took her to the swings continues to have a decisive influence over the ECB's plans. Not only did she say: "What's a shire, Grandad?" as she was regaled with details of a last-day run chase between Derbyshire and Leicestershire, but during the long-winded explanation that followed she burst into tears and fell off the swing, grazing her knee. Many a time the administrator concerned has stood up at a function and said: "I'll tell you something now", before repeating this sorrowful tale, ending with the line: "It'll take more than a sticking plaster to mend the problems with English cricket."
6. Alfie McRuckus, TV producer
The influence of McRuckus, a fiery, red-headed TV producer, on the delicate deliberations on English cricket's future should not be underestimated. Rumours abound of how McRuckus' passionate belief in the need for change has led ECB executives to cower in corners whenever he manages to gatecrash a late-night drinks party. He advocates the need for cricket to move closer to football with a greater commitment to sledging, the eyeballing of umpires at every opportunity, and regular post-match slating of the opposing coach whenever the opportunity presents itself. In his view, fan segregation is also a must.
The influence of McRuckus, a fiery, red-headed TV producer, on the delicate deliberations on English cricket's future should not be underestimated. Rumours abound of how McRuckus' passionate belief in the need for change has led ECB executives to cower in corners whenever he manages to gatecrash a late-night drinks party. He advocates the need for cricket to move closer to football with a greater commitment to sledging, the eyeballing of umpires at every opportunity, and regular post-match slating of the opposing coach whenever the opportunity presents itself. In his view, fan segregation is also a must.
How he votes is often immaterial, but the trip to London is always something to treasure and he particularly likes it when he is patted on the shoulder by someone over the canapés and told: "Well done, Jack, you have served cricket well once again"
7. Chinese hacker, unknown
An unknown Chinese hacker has had access to all ECB internal emails for the past ten years and has taken great delight in the confusion he brings. At least 20 imaginary ECB employees are thought to have been employed by the hacker, to the confusion of senior management, who have never seen them but who nevertheless assume they are important enough to be put in charge of several important sub-committees. This explains the delay in many pressing decisions relating to T20, as emails are sent up and down the chain of command without any resolution. Eventually the hacker briefly tires of the disruption and announces a series of imaginary resignations to allow a few decisions to take place before the whole charade begins once more.
An unknown Chinese hacker has had access to all ECB internal emails for the past ten years and has taken great delight in the confusion he brings. At least 20 imaginary ECB employees are thought to have been employed by the hacker, to the confusion of senior management, who have never seen them but who nevertheless assume they are important enough to be put in charge of several important sub-committees. This explains the delay in many pressing decisions relating to T20, as emails are sent up and down the chain of command without any resolution. Eventually the hacker briefly tires of the disruption and announces a series of imaginary resignations to allow a few decisions to take place before the whole charade begins once more.
8. Amelia Clutteridge, Tory Chair, city council
Clutteridge had no wish for the city council she chairs to lend a county cricket club £5m at low rates of interest, especially as she has had to supervise the imposition of 30% cutbacks across the council budget, and personally she is sceptical of claims that a rain-affected one-day international brings an additional £350m to the local economy. But if she has to be forced into it, then she is damn well going to make sure the county club knows its duty when it comes to voting on whether it wants to bring a new county competition to the city.
Clutteridge had no wish for the city council she chairs to lend a county cricket club £5m at low rates of interest, especially as she has had to supervise the imposition of 30% cutbacks across the council budget, and personally she is sceptical of claims that a rain-affected one-day international brings an additional £350m to the local economy. But if she has to be forced into it, then she is damn well going to make sure the county club knows its duty when it comes to voting on whether it wants to bring a new county competition to the city.
9. Julian Fellowship, chief executive of Be A Sport
Be A Sport is regarded within English cricket as the leading Sports Business Group, valued for its assembly of a uniquely talented department offering unchallenged commercial, legal and financial expertise, including the £350m calculation above. All the latest analytical methodology, an appreciation of what drives and sustains business, plus an uncanny ability to conclude exactly what the ECB wants it to conclude has taken Be A Sport to new highs and has allowed its chief executive to claim with justification: "Fellowship by name and fellowship by nature."
Be A Sport is regarded within English cricket as the leading Sports Business Group, valued for its assembly of a uniquely talented department offering unchallenged commercial, legal and financial expertise, including the £350m calculation above. All the latest analytical methodology, an appreciation of what drives and sustains business, plus an uncanny ability to conclude exactly what the ECB wants it to conclude has taken Be A Sport to new highs and has allowed its chief executive to claim with justification: "Fellowship by name and fellowship by nature."
10. Gerry Hatchett, ex-England captain and pundit
There may be consternation at placing Hatchett as low as No. 10 on this list of Most Influential People in English cricket, which hopefully should bring some welcome publicity. There is nothing in cricket that Hatchett, down from No. 2 last year, does not know on account of the belief within the ECB that non-disclosure clauses naturally do not apply to former England captains, who have an unspoken right to know what millions of others don't on account of their proud cricketing service and the considerable influence that can be brought to bear on a Twitter following running to several million.
There may be consternation at placing Hatchett as low as No. 10 on this list of Most Influential People in English cricket, which hopefully should bring some welcome publicity. There is nothing in cricket that Hatchett, down from No. 2 last year, does not know on account of the belief within the ECB that non-disclosure clauses naturally do not apply to former England captains, who have an unspoken right to know what millions of others don't on account of their proud cricketing service and the considerable influence that can be brought to bear on a Twitter following running to several million.
David Hopps is a general editor at ESPNcricinfo @davidkhopps