Dodgy dossiers and dodgy curries
Voices in the head, undercooked prawns, and a secret dossier - it's all happening in the Somerset dressing room

Justin Langer cleverly gathers information for his next dossier - on dealing with crowds - while pretending to acknowledge the cheers for his innings • Getty Images
Alan Tyers is a freelance journalist based in London
Any and all quotes and facts in this article may be wholly or partly fiction (but you knew that already, didn't you?)