Final debacle gives theorists plenty of room for debate (12 Sep 1996)

12 September 1996

Final debacle gives theorists plenty of room for debate

By Matthew Fleming

FOR the professional cricketer, the onset of autumn and hibernation is heralded by the inevitable post-mortem of the NatWest final. Usually, quotes such as "the result of the toss was crucial", "early moisture" and "flattened out" are plastered all over the newspapers.

This year is different - well, slightly. The result of the toss was indeed important, but the ensuing carnage was a direct reversal of previous years. Quite why we are always so surprised by the showpiece final is beyond me. If we continue to play them at this time of year and on those wickets, "things" will continue to occur.

A friend came up with an interesting proposal on the eve of this final: split the prize-money equally between the two teams (the difference between winners and losers is too great to be decided by the toss of a coin), and award two finalists` trophies. The teams would then play with no pressure and more often than not produce a feast of cricket. Interesting and eccentric, but not without its merits, even if I would have to admit that my friend had not enjoyed an entirely "dry" Friday.

The apparent demise of the NatWest final on purely cricketing grounds has led to some unusual calls for change. One of the popular theories at the moment is that the Benson and Hedges Cup should go and the NatWest take its place, thus killing two birds with one stone.

The loss of one of our competitions would help to pacify those calling for a reduction in the amount of cricket we play, and the NatWest final would be played in July, or even August, thus increasing the chances of good weather and a suitable one-day wicket.

This is all well and good, but I fail to understand why the B & H should be the one to go. The 60-over game is an irrelevance in terms of world cricket, where the B & H format is practised.

The B & H seems to have so much more going for it. The zonal rounds ensure the best teams get through to the quarter-finals, thus guaranteeing the competition`s standing; and if we want to have a chance of winning the next World Cup we should be concentrating on the 50-over game.

ALMOST every paper on Monday published its short-list for this winter`s tours. Writing as one who has never, to his knowledge, made even the long-list, Monday was a day of deep relaxation. Not for me the worry of: `Will they or won`t they?` - I didn`t even switch on my answering machine, as I undertook the task of partnering E W Swanton at Royal St George`s.

Fortified by a victory by two and one, I returned home to compile my own tour party. I too went for a youth policy of sorts - I completely ignored it.

I based my selections on three factors. Firstly, they must have the potential to be good tourists, and the ability and desire to take advantage of the ludicrously favourable exchange rate. Secondly, they must never have played for England, yet have done well enough to be considered. Thirdly, they must be over 30.

My seam bowlers are Cardigan Connor, Kevin Evans, Ian Austin, Peter Hartley and David Millns, a group of old and bold who have nigh on 2,000 first-class wickets to their names. They are ably assisted by my two all-rounders, Kevan James, good variation, and Graham Rose. This pair of has-beens offer a further 700 wickets and 14,000 runs.

My wicketkeeper is Keith Brown, of Middlesex, who as well as having over 400 dismissals to his name has more than 8,000 runs. The batsmen all average nigh on 40 and have scored about 55,000 runs between them: they are Andy Moles, Alan Fordham, Peter Bowler, Richard Harden and Paul Prichard. My spin bowlers are getting on a bit as well. Andy Afford is the positively youthful partner to the ancient Steve Barwick, and this pair have accounted for over 800 victims.

The combined age of my squad of 15 is 491, and they would travel spring-heeled to Zimbabwe with an average of 32.75. While I could not guarantee the entire squad making it to New Zealand, I am confident the Africans would be swept aside.

This squad was compiled by a bitter and twisted 31-year-old has-been who cannot even get on his own short-list.