Goodbye to Jacques, Durban and all that
The second leg of our correspondent's South Africa tour diary features steel bands, pelvic thrusts, Ethiopian food, and a low-key last innings

And never mind the go-slow in the last innings • ESPNcricinfo Ltd
"Must" has overtaken "should". "How are you" has become "howzit". "I am fine, thank you?" has become "goodandyou?" "Shap shap" is okay, all right, thank you, everything. Enough time has been spent in South Africa. There hasn't been much cricket, though. Only two completed matches in 16 days. Only one team turned up during those.
Jimmy Cook. Former South Africa opener. Most of his career passed during apartheid. When the chance finally arrived, he was out first ball of a Test. Caught at slip off Kapil Dev. Jolly good talker of cricket. Has mentored and coached Graeme Smith since his childhood. As he has Stephen Cook, his son. Stephen is part of South Africa Invitation XI that was supposed to play India but couldn't because of bad weather and a wet outfield. Story of his life, says Jimmy.
Commentary boxes at the Wanderers are next to the press box. When off air, some commentators shoot the breeze in the lounge area and watch cricket on TV, which has a lag. One way to kill time is to predict from the crowd reaction what has happened, then watch on TV to see who's right. Shaun Pollock knows his Wanderers crowd well, and wins a lot. Not a lot of wickets to cheer on day one, though. Especially after India's openers are gone for 24. Virat Kohli, in his first Test in South Africa, scores a century to give the first signs India can compete in South Africa.
Those sleep scientists "must" conduct their studies on South Africa. Incredibly sleepy country. Especially when it pitter-patters continuously. Wake up to rain, go back to sleep, certain play won't start on time. Wanderers drainage has other ideas, and we have not lost a minute.
Vernon Philander becomes the fastest South African to reach 100 Test wickets. Morne Morkel injures himself when he slips while fielding. Cheteshwar Pujara and Kohli add 222 for the third wicket to start batting South Africa out of the game.
With Morkel injured, India rack up the runs before leaving South Africa 135 overs to bat to save or win the Test. Jacques Kallis bowls 20 overs to make up for Morkel's absence, so he doesn't bat at No. 4. Faf du Plessis is his replacement. Sign of things to come?
Great finish to Wanderers Test. Du Plessis. Hard little nut. Reprises Adelaide. AB de Villiers. Considered soft. No more. Scores a hundred that keeps chase alive. Both teams get into one-upmanship after draw. Kohli says South Africa gave up chase, Smith says India didn't have bowling to bowl them out. Crowd boos Dale Steyn and Philander who shut shop, knowing Morkel can't even stand up properly, and Imran Tahir is no good with the bat. Need to appreciate how much rests on decisions Steyn and Philander make. Could easily have ruined all the hard work done by du Plessis and de Villiers.
Tongaat. Outside Durban. Indian town. Temples. Sugarcane farms. White gold, they called sugar when they brought indentured labour to work here. Chinatown-type establishments. Start with provisions store. One door leads into a residential hotel. Cross it to reach bar. Another door into a private bar. Door at end of bar opens into a gambling den and pool parlour. Somewhere off this road used to live the Amlas. Logan and Mirinda live there now. Mirinda was Hashim's teacher in primary school. Logan was "Logan uncle" to Hashim.
Some things I know about Durban:
Vasco da Gama discovered it on Christmas Eve, and named it Rio de Natal, meaning "Christmas river".
Malcolm Marshall played domestic cricket here. They still talk about it with awe.
Over 100 streets have recently been renamed to honour heroes of the struggle against apartheid. Still, people use mostly the old names.
Durban Poison is the name of a punk-rock band in Canada.
Christmas day. Not many present to watch practice at Kingsmead. Kallis bowls a lot of overs in nets. Later South Africa media manager in the dressing room seen discussing stuff with Kallis. Later he takes the seat and looks at her laptop. Don't realise he is reading the media release that hours later will inform everybody he is retiring from Test cricket. Now the slightly sombre mood during their training a day before makes sense. Told they all shed tears when informed of the decision on December 24. Also told that Smith was the first one to know when Kallis told him from second slip during Wanderers Test. Haven't confirmed it. Better this way. Shouldn't ruin a great story.
Boxing day. Crowd not great. This is Kallis' last Test. Joke goes around he would have got a bigger crowd had he retired in India. Quietly M Vijay accumulates 91 on stop-start day, showing admirable discipline in leaving balls outside off. Says later he had realised he was playing at too many balls in home series against Australia. Good awareness of own game.
Zaheer Khan plays a horrible shot first ball as India lose their last five wickets for 14 runs. Second time this series, Ajinkya Rahane stranded at the other end. Punters at the nearby Suncoast Casino more careful. Suncoast not quite Vegas. No glamour here. People mean business. Can tell these are regular faces. Running tables must be extremely difficult. Dealing with someone else's money. Place bets for different people with different coloured chips. Calculate earnings after every spin. Sometimes times 35, sometimes 17, sometimes seven. Watch ecstasy, glee, despair, sadness. Beginner's luck. Veteran's muck. Chat sometimes. Stay indifferent at others. Watched by cameras all along. Wonder if they ever gamble themselves.
Kallis is batting for possibly one last time, but no crowd again. Is he going too slow, though? Rain around. Forecast not bright. Alviro Petersen says you can't trust South Africa's weatherman. Can't plan for the weather. Truer words never spoken.
Kallis goes on to get a century in his final Test, only third South African after Barry Richards and Lee Irvine. A low-key innings from a man who forever wanted to stay low-key. Setting South Africa up for win if weather stays good.
Steyn does it for South Africa once again. Went more than 70 overs without a wicket during the series. Now has run through India twice. Says he had to do it for Kallis. When asked how it feels to have the power to change games single-handedly, humbly says anybody could have done it. Also adds, "Kinda cool."
Sidharth Monga is an assistant editor at ESPNcricinfo