The Un-Australian Australian

Mum covers her ears; friends fear to be seen with me; a bar-fight is never far away and I've been called un-Australian more times then I've had prawns at Christmas.

This is the story of an Australian cricketing tragic, who doesn't really like Australian cricket. I have played cricket all my life and continue to play, albeit poorly. I tell anyone who listens, or doesn't, just how much I love cricket. I take backyard cricket seriously; it's not a successful day if I haven't clean bowled my younger cousin, or hit a crisp straight drive off my 14-year-old niece. Like Happy Gilmore, failing in other aspects of my life doesn't matter because "I'm actually a cricketer".

As my love for cricket is so well known around my office, I'm often posed the inevitable question: "So how 'bout the Australian cricket team?" This question isn't posed to me by fans of the game; it's posed to me by the weird lady on the 6th floor wearing a 'whinny the pooh' jumper, or by a former boss whilst standing awkwardly in the lift together. Basically, people whom I don't really want to talk cricket with, always want to talk cricket with me.

Over the years, I've fine-tuned my answer to strike the right balance between an answer that won't get me shunned back to my village in shame for being un-Australian and one that confirms that my love for cricket. My response is as follows:

"I'm more interested in how the Zimbabwe team perform."

I could never quite put my finger on why I wasn't a huge fan of Australian cricket. It's not that I want us to lose, it's just that I'm indifferent if we win. It's true that I'm more a fan of the 'contest' rather than the 'result' and I often like to see the underdog doing well. But this indifference towards Australia only applies to cricket and not to any other sport. Put me in front of a TV when the summer Olympics is on and you'll find me up late eating a vegemite sandwich and listening to waltzing matilda on repeat. But I think my indifference towards the Australian cricket team for the most part can be attributed to one major factor:

I like the team but not the players.

This is particularly true when it comes to Australian teams of the past few years. For the most part, there are many Australian players who come across as arrogant, entitled, insolent and really just too cavalier.

Upon further analysis, I think it's more simply a case of the fact that they are good enough to play for Australia and I'm not. Basically if they don't seem graceful for the position they are in and the raw talent they have been blessed with, they are quickly discarded into my mental scrap heap. This happens all too frequently with Australian players.

I've always preferred Australian cricketers who seem to work hard with the talent they have and therefore give the impression they care more about Australian cricket. Think Chris Rogers, Justin Langer, Allan Border, Dizzy Gillespie or Ed Cowan. However the Shaun Taits, Glenn Maxwells, Matthew Haydens or even Ricky Pontings, to whom cricket looks so easy, never really piqued my excitement at an Australian win.

With the upcoming World T20, colleagues have become more direct with their questioning and no longer tolerate a vague response. "Don't you want to see Australia do well here?!?!" they ask disparagingly.

I'm working on my new response and I think there is some hope for me yet.

"Of course I do," I respond. "But only if Usman Khawaja, Scott Boland or Cameron Boyce do well."