Tea-hee-hee

Take three women cricketers, one award-winning artist, and an Ashes commemorative tea-set, and throw the whole ensemble to the mercy of Cricinfo's caption competitioneers. What do you get? A rare old bunfight, that's what.

Leaving aside the lewdest, the crudest and the downright sexist entries (and for all the achievements of the England's women's team last summer, there were still several of those - shame on you all!) the pool of potential winners was as shallow as a substantially supped tea-cup.

"Who's going to be mother?" suggested Bob Dinsdale, the first of many entries to pursue a similar theme. "Cup of tea, Charlotte?" enquired Debbie Gilpin, before launching into her best Mrs Doyle impression: "Ah go on! Go on, go on, go on, go on!" (That's a Father Ted reference, for those not in the know ...)

"The MCC finally acknowledge that women have a role to play at Lord's," giggled a chap called Chris who then ducked his misogynistic head back beneath the parapet. Like the shameless coward he is, Chris failed to provide a surname, but given that he signed off "met vriendelijke groet", we can surmise he's hiding in Holland somewhere ... go get him, girls!

"I bet Flintoff doesn't bloody have to do this," said Adrian, which seemed a pretty valid observation. And Balu Cousik was equally critical of the inequality on show. "The men get all the champagne for the Ashes," he chuntered on the girls' behalf, "... and we get a pot of tea."

"If the Ashes can cause such a commotion, imagine what our fancy tea-pots can do," said Vinay Gangoli, sentiments that were shared by Anthony Shaw from Melbourne. "I suppose it's more useful than an urn filled with Ashes," he shrugged. "Actually," informed Ravi Menon, "it's not the Ashes mate, just `char'". I like what you did there, Ravi.

The week's most surreal entry came from, or was at least attributed to, none other than his Holiness the Dalai Lama. "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion," he intoned. "If you want to be happy, practice compassion." Wise words indeed, and in the context of this competition, they roughly translate as "if in doubt, brew up". Oh go on then, milk and two sugars for me please.

Muralidhar Rajagopal couldn't agree more. "Now that Clare Connor has relinquished the post to Charlotte Edwards," he declared, "it's high time to have a cup of tea." Quite so, Muralidhar, but surely you haven't been denying yourself a cuppa for the full six years of Miss Connor's reign? You poor man.

The "badoom-tish!" award for telegraphed punchlines goes to Anil Thomas who declared: "Cricket has always been our cup of tea!", while Karim Rezaul verged on the sacrilegious with his suggestion. "The England women's team are thinking that it will be more interesting to engage themselves in film and try to get chance in Hollywood, rather than playing boring cricket."

"Twen'tea Twen'tea - Future of English Cricket," guffawed Manas Sharma with a catchphrase that could yet catch on, but this week's winner was Syed Moosavi, for a rib-tickling suggestion that was both printable and topical: