The Heavy Ball
How to get over the IPL
And why Shah Rukh Khan is such a good egg
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
29-May-2012
The first few days after the IPL can suck, can't they? It feels like when your party is raided by cops and you can't bring yourself to face what comes next. It feels even worse when you're involved closely in organising it.
I had a remedy for the years I was in charge. Whenever I'd feel separation pangs, I'd go to a fish market. The staleness, the shouting, and that feeling of being unsure whether you've bought a rotten feller or one that'll lift your dinner to Masterchef levels would make me feel much better. People think lack of freshness is bad. But it's actually just another phrase for status quo. For the comfort of the known, the usual, the never-changing routine.
****
'If Chanderpaul had a live grenade in his pocket...'
... he'd do what? Find out in this week's Twitter round-up, which includes Jesse Ryder's breakfast plans and Shane Warne's junk food queries
Alex Bowden
24-May-2012
The kerfuffle
"Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Nick Knight has worked his way into the commentary box for Home Tests?? RIDICULOUS!!"
@kevinpp24 (Kevin Pietersen)
"Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Nick Knight has worked his way into the commentary box for Home Tests?? RIDICULOUS!!"
@kevinpp24 (Kevin Pietersen)
Knight was hired by Sky shortly after his retirement. One of England's most successful one-day cricketers, he brings short-format expertise to what is otherwise a Test-heavy commentary roster. Having spent several years commentating primarily on county cricket, Knight is now being used more frequently during Test matches and… oh, wait, was that a rhetorical question?
The personal information
"I actually have a cut on my little soldier from where mr Robbie Joseph hit me in the box today!! #sore #Shameitdidntswell"
@cobby24 (Josh Cobb, Leicestershire opener)
Full post"I actually have a cut on my little soldier from where mr Robbie Joseph hit me in the box today!! #sore #Shameitdidntswell"
@cobby24 (Josh Cobb, Leicestershire opener)
Pursued by the long handle of the law
Our two protagonists' noble intentions only succeed in making them the focus of an international manhunt
As told to Alan Tyers
22-May-2012
Since I last wrote to you, Dessie and I have had rather a torrid time of things, and I am sorry to say that we are now wanted by the authorities on two continents.
The Indian secret service is extremely keen to speak to us after Dessie's calamitous attempt to kidnap Sachin Tendulkar and persuade him not to enter the political arena. It was only the Little Master's sure footwork and powerful wrists that enabled him to break free from Dessie's grasp at a sponsor's function in Mumbai. By sheer luck, we managed to leap onto the bonnet of a passing taxi and make good our escape before Sachin's "people", to use the modern argot, had a chance to capture us. It is a source of great regret that we were in too much of a hurry to tip our driver.
Even with the full force of the Indian legal system focused upon our capture, we might yet have got away without too much fuss had it not been for an ill-considered idea of my own.
Full postHow to go from the IPL to county cricket
Watching the two can seem like switching from the Roadrunner to the opera. But they aren't that different
Alex Bowden
20-May-2012
With the sale of overseas TV rights on the cards, new fans are likely to experience the unique joys of county cricket from next year. English domestic cricket cannot expect to compete with the IPL, but when that competition finishes, many eyes will turn to Taunton, Grace Road et al. As an English cricket fan, I know that this switch can prove jarring, so here is a guide on how to acclimatise to county cricket when you've spent recent days watching something altogether more bombastic.
Look for the similarities. This minimises culture shock and helps you ease into county cricket without experiencing the spectator's equivalent of the bends. At the end of the day, it's all cricket, isn't it?
Isn't it…?
Oh.
Full postSwitch hitters are people too
Findings reveal those who change stance and hand position when the bowler is in his stride are a misunderstood lot
R Rajkumar
19-May-2012
In what has increasingly come to be regarded as the biggest civil rights issue of the 21st century, the ICC will meet later this month to decide the fate of that much misunderstood and maligned group of people walking among us - switch hitters.
Long discriminated against for their alternative lifestyle and so-called unpredictable nature, switch hitters have in recent times come into the public glare thanks in large part to Kevin Pietersen, touted by civil rights watchdogs and the media as the Rosa Parks of the long-suffering minority.
"Hi, my name is Kevin Pietersen, and gosh darn it, I'm proud to say that I'm a switch hitter," said Mr Pietersen to rapturous applause recently at a function to mark the launch of the latest product he is endorsing - a revolutionary pair of shoes that can be used interchangeably to fit either left foot or right, and consequently fit neither.
Full postHow to understand cricket without needing a law degree
No more arguments over what the rules are really trying to say. Here are some complicated on-field scenarios rendered simple
Sidin Vadukut
17-May-2012
I don't know what your thoughts are on this topic - and if you are a Twenty20 fan, you probably don't think at all, ha ha - but what in god's name does cricket have to do in order to get a break? It is as if the sport endlessly lurches from one controversy to the other without being able to sit back and enjoy a nice, long, fluent Ross Taylor innings.
Ever since the sport was invented by WG Grace all those years ago, it has been troubled by scandal: Bodyline, Australia, Ashes, Kerry Packer, Javed Miandad, Sharjah, match-fixing, India-Pakistan politics, aluminium bat, video replays, Harbhajan Singh, 21 runs off one ball, Arun Lal, racism, T20, switch-hit, and now, most recently, the interpretation of the official cricket rules for what construes as a catch on the boundary.
While it is not up to this columnist to say what he thinks of Test fanatics (boring, tiresome fossils who have been single for too long) or T20 aficionados (money-minded tax-evading heretics with no respect for tradition, who are also usually Manchester United fans), he can help you make sense of the increasingly ambiguous interpretations of cricketing rules. In order to help the common cricket fan all over the world in this time of legislative crisis, I have compiled a set of frequently asked questions about cricket. Each question analyses an extreme cricketing incident. I hope this will help average fans make sense of the sport.
Full postGayle and WICB struggle to adjust to life after conflict
Batsman and board's CEO find themselves at a loose end
R Rajkumar
12-May-2012
Chris Gayle and the WICB are finding it a challenge getting used to life without the drawn-out, acrimonious conflict that gave their lives so much meaning over the past year or so, according to reports.
Rumour is that Gayle, finding himself suddenly plunged headfirst into an existential crisis, has even stopped referring to himself in the third person. Friends and family worry that this may be an indication of serious trauma.
"I'm feeling good today," Gayle tweeted. "In fact, I've never felt better and at such peace with the world. Wow, I hate myself."
Full post'Patience is not merely waiting'
Philosophical gems, the delights of long-term parking, and more, in this week's Twitter picks
Alex Bowden
10-May-2012
The arrival
How are the West Indies preparing for their tour of England?
"Jumpers on, lip balm on, hoodie on...Team Windies getting acclimatized to England..Wi All In..."
@darrensammy88
How are the West Indies preparing for their tour of England?
"Jumpers on, lip balm on, hoodie on...Team Windies getting acclimatized to England..Wi All In..."
@darrensammy88
If you're in England right now, you'll know that's optimistic. No thermal underwear? No hand warmers? No anorak or waterproof trousers? Naïve.
The attire
"When did compression garments become acceptable casual/walking the dog wear?"
@eddiecowan
Full post"When did compression garments become acceptable casual/walking the dog wear?"
@eddiecowan
Why the IPL is losing TRPs
It's not because the product stinks, says a former commissioner
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
08-May-2012
Am I a bad person if I enjoy it when the Chennai Super Kings lose? My neighbour in London is a Chennai fan. You know the sort: spells it out as "Ceeeskay", calls me Modi machan ("What I am saying, Modi machan, is that when it comes to captaining Chennai, Dhoni is motivated - by the Knowledgeable Chennai Crowd [his capitals, not mine] and by the humidity. It's 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration!"), and insisting every injury in the Chennai squad is caused by "Ambani goons" (Bless that dear lady).
So every time Chennai have lost this season, apart from sending a "Suck on this" message to Srini, I go over to my neighbour and say, "Well, of course, you shouldn't sweat on this loss. You can say they'll do better next time da." No, I am not a bad person. God too is a creator like me. He's not a bad person, is he?
****
