The Long Handle

A bloodcurdling cry of despair, hope, challenge and angst brings the IPL thrillingly alive

If you don't tell Andrew Hughes, he might create some wild fantasies of his own about the break

Warne and Co are so over

The Middlesex batsman's split-personality, VVS Laxman's no-change personality and Mike Haysman's dew-obsessed one were all to be seen on the opening day of the IPL

Welcome to West Indies v Zimbabwe, where the pitches are lifeless, the batsmen clueless and the crowd cacophonic

There's been enough talk of the decline of the game in the Caribbean

Just how bad was the Twenty20 between Zimbabwe and West Indies

Players will only put you to sleep with their repetitive inanities

A beautiful place where time before the Big Boom was spent by Pakistan acting like silly billies

For ages they only measured how far ahead Australia were, but now ordinary punters care about them

Why all the coyness about the IPL being a cash-farming opportunity like no other?

Paul Collingwood and Chris Gayle present watertight cases for curtailing players' right to open their mouths; and a prediction for the Kumble-Tayfield trophy

Marigolds on the players’ balcony

Twenty20 has got faster, the MCG has got bigger, and commentators have become scientifically challenged

Tubs, Slats, Heals and Gilly's axis of machismo would no doubt be in admiration of Afridi's all-male way of ball-tampering

 

Adolescent cricket with the ridiculous shots and the irritating antics of senior cricket, and Nick Knight thrown in for good measure

You don't watch India-Bangladesh to find out who is going to win like you don't listen to Virender Sehwag if you're looking for a crash course in diplomacy

Collingwood, Bollinger, Siddle and Co, so in your face you can see their pores

Stroppy reactions to allegations, tantrums on the balcony – welcome to the toy-tossing session